Lucid Dreams
by ARS.SWK
Summary: AU: As high school begins for a young boy and a cute girl, they dream the same dreams as they discover the pains of growing up, the bliss of romance, and each other. R&R please! Renton x Eureka
1. My Name Is

**Lucid Dreams**

This is a AU (alternate universe, FYI) fanfic of Eureka Seven based and spun off of Renton and Eureka's incidents with dreams (Manga and Anime). The story will be told through "diary" entries of Renton and Eureka as well as third person narrations. I will make an effort to use proper English (except during diary entries) so please let me know of any mistakes!

Rated M for (eventual) lemons, language, and other inappropriate themes and situations.

Note: italicized words with apostrophes ("_Example_") indicate thoughts. I got this idea after reading 1991-M-Sable's E7 fanfic "With You" which can be read on this site.

Enjoy! :]

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><p><strong>Dream 1: My name is...<strong>

Renton Entry #1:

Uhh, hi my name is Renton Thurston. Wow I feel weird writing in a journal. Anyways, I started high school today and my sister, Diane, told me I should keep a diary to make my grammar better and because it's important... or so she says. I didn't want to at first cause that's like something girls do... but whatever. I've started writing and it might be interesting to see how this turns out.

High school was... well it's only been a day so I can't really say much. Its weird going to such a big place where you don't know many people and I'm not the kind of guy that has a lot of friends... pathetic huh? Well I mean I have friends... like Moondoggie and Gidget. There real names are James and Annette, but they insist on nicknames for some reason. We're all about the same age, 14 (Moondoggie is almost 15) and high school is something new for all of us.

Ugh, Talho is so loud... she and my sis are about to go out, but Miss Yuki already sounds drunk... on a Monday night, really? Why doesn't gramps yell at her? He's probably asleep... Talho Yuki works with my sister at some office, not sure what my sis does, but whatever. Talho's pretty but really mean and loud a lot. One time I yelled at sis and Talho beat me! Oh no... if she finds this she'll never stop teasing me... Talho if you're reading this, please be nicer to me!

I can't remember much about school right now... except there's this really really really pretty girl that sits next to me in almost all my classes (P.E. doesnt have seats). I think her name was Eureka... her last name started with an N... Novak? No, that's the biology teacher... she looks nothing like that grey-haired, arrogant, mean bully... damn this is going to bug me. All the girls in bio are crazy about that guy, asking if they can call him "Holland". How stupid... That guy picks on me in class a lot... I wonder why?

Anyway, back to Eureka, she's sooo cuuute! She's got blue short hair (I wonder if that's natural), she's a bit shorter than me (thank god), and uhh... I can't remember what she was wearing. I wish I had introduced myself, now she'll probably think I'm weird if I introduce myself tomorrow or something. Damn I'm such a loser... she'll probably date a basketball player... oh I hope she doesn't have a crush on Holland like those other girls... uh oh it's late, I should sleep. I should check my grammar tomorrow. Maybe I should try out for the basketball team...

If I made it... would Eureka talk to me?

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><p><span>Eureka Entry #1:<span>

Dear Diary,

My name is Eureka Novak. At first when my brother told me to keep a diary I wasn't quite sure why he wanted me to do this. Something about improving spelling and grammar... and it might be important. I'm not sure why... but Holland has always been keeping me well so I'll trust him on this one. Besides, learning is important... I think... and this could be an important learning experience for me.

I started high school today. I'm new to this town because my brother recently got a job teaching at the school I attend. It's weird when your in a new place and you don't know anyone... Well, I know Holland, but he's not always with me... I never had friends to begin with, but that boy in my classes seems friendly... Let's see... his name? Renton, I think. We didn't talk, but he doesn't seem like a mean person.

Oh no, Holland is smoking inside... again. How many times have I told him I don't like that smell? Just yelled at him and told him second-hand smoke will kill me one day. Ohh... that's depressing to think about... Death. No... Happy thoughts, Eureka! Let's see, what was I talking about?

Oh right, Renton! He's a boy in all my classes with brown hair and is a little bit taller than me (about 5'5"?). Today, he was wearing a plain black shirt, some khaki shorts, and red and white sneakers. I think his eyes are blue. I'm not sure... It felt like he was looking at me when I wasn't looking at him. Weird. I'm probably wrong. I wonder if I should have talked to him. Oh no... was I being rude?

I don't really understand boys that well. They don't act like Holland. The few I have talked to think I'm weird (same with other girls). I wonder why? A boy talked to me today, but I can't remember him that well… I think he plays basketball. He was talking about dates and dances, or something like that. It's strange because I can't see why dates are important (unless you're a historian) and I don't know any dances or dance moves. Why would he talk to me about that kind of stuff? I wonder what Renton would talk to me about... Oh! It's late, I should sleep.

Bye-bye, Diary.

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><p>No one ever remembers the beginning of a dream. Psychologists attribute this and many other characteristics of REM sleep to the fact that our brain's logic center shuts down during sleep. That's why you never question your dreams and why they feel so real, despite how strange and unusual the content is. And so, Renton and Eureka were no different when they found themselves in a strange white world; Nothingness. It took a while for them to notice each other, or so it seemed. Time was too distorted to tell… Another effect of their inactive logic centers. Later, when they awoke, neither of them would think that they shared the same dream. After all, what normal, sane individual would think such a thing?<p>

"_I should say something._" They both thought, but were too scared to talk. And just how they shared the same dream and thought similar thoughts, they both spoke at the same time: "My name is..." They both stopped in embarrassment.

"I-I'm Renton... Renton Thurston." He didn't understand why he was so scared, why he wanted to run away from this moment.

"Eureka... I'm Eureka Novak." She replied.

"Ehh! You're not related to that bio teacher are you?" Renton's initial fear was replaced by a new one.

"Yup! He's my brother!" Eureka was confused at first but thought nothing of it. "What's wrong?" Renton's demeanor changed enough for Eureka to notice.

"Ohh... He's kind of mean. Well, I don't know him well, but there's something I don't like about him..." Renton couldn't quite explain himself.

"That's ok!" Eureka replied happily, "Sometimes I don't like Holland because he teases me sometimes too!" Eureka recalled the instances when Holland would tease her for being so clueless. "People can be so different from Holland sometimes..."

"What do you mean?" Renton asked as his thoughts suddenly focused on basketball. He wasn't quite sure why.

"There was this weird boy at school today who I can't remember very well... I think he was on the basketball team... or something like that." Renton started acting odd, but Eureka didn't notice as her eyes were closed and her face was as if it were in deep thought. "He was talking about dates and dances... I think." Renton was freaking out now.

"W-w-what'd you say?" Renton couldn't keep his voice from shaking.

"Well, I wasn't sure what he was talking about because I don't dance and dates aren't important unless you're a historian..." A feeling of massive relief came over Renton. He could help breathe out noticeably. "Basketball players are weird... I don't think I like them very much." Eureka had a slight frown on her face.

"_She's so cute! And so innocent too!_" Renton couldn't help but blush. "_I guess I won't try out for the team now._"

The scene changed. Gone was the white world and instead the two found themselves sitting on a beach. Even with the blue swans flying around and the colorful horses walking on water, neither of them realized they were dreaming. Perhaps they were too focused on each other. Eureka noticed the blue ocean briefly and a thought occurred to her.

"Ah! Your eyes are blue!" Renton looked confused and was startled as Eureka came closer to look into his eyes. "Earlier at school I wasn't sure what color your eyes were..." Eureka felt embarrassed as the words left her mouth.

"_I must be dreaming._" Renton was happy that such a cute girl would notice him at school. "Thank you!" He replied. "_No! You dumbass, why are you thanking her? That wasn't even a compliment__!_"

"_I must be dreaming._" Eureka was happy that there was someone who didn't think what she said was weird. She was too engrossed in thought to notice Renton's internal mood of frustration.

"This beach is really pretty, huh?" Eureka's question had Renton paying attention again. "I've only seen pictures, but I'd like to come here... one day."

"Eh? We're here now, aren't we?" Renton replied as Eureka shook her head.

"No... This is obviously a dream. Look at the weird horses and swans." She pointed. As soon as the words were spoken, they disappeared and Eureka and Renton were alone on the beach.

"You're right..." Renton was a bit sad now. "But, one day let's go here when we're not dreaming, ok?" He was nervous now, what would she say? A moment of uncomfortable silence passed.

"I'd like that..." Eureka smiled back at him. Renton couldn't explain what he was feeling. Was it happiness? Could it be love?

With a strange, lingering feeling of happiness in them both and a smile on their faces, they awoke.

And then the dream ended.


	2. Truth or Dare

**Lucid Dreams**

I've decided to stop writing these stories on my Droid seeing as that totally messes up my pacing =_=

Note: improper English and misspelled words in diary entries are intentional!

R&R please =)

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><p><strong>Dream 2: Truth or Dare<strong>

Renton Entry #2:

I think I'm in love with Eureka Novak... Ugh, every time I even see the name "Novak" I can't help but picture that mean asshole of a teacher! I can't beleive there siblings... Well at least that means she'll never have romantic feelings for him... I hope.

My second day of school was alot better than yesterday's, mostly because of Eureka. I was so nervous at first... In my dream last night we were really friendly with each other, but in the real world I hadn't even talked to her! I guess I felt pretty sad until SHE introduced herself to ME! I was so happy when she said "I'm sorry for being so rude yesterday... You sat next to me in all my classes and I didn't even talk to you! My name is Eureka Novak." She's SOOO CUUUTE and SO sweet (nice body... I mean eyes and hair aren't so bad either)! But that moment didn't last long because Mr. Novak threw his chalk at me and hit me hard on the forehead!

My schedule has me go to bio class first... how cruel... I already have trouble concentrating because its a morning class but now I'm also scared of Holland and how he'd react if I talk to Eureka! I didn't get to introduce myself until that class ended... Amazingly she apologized again about her brother being rude! She insisted on making it up to me (man, I'm having bad thoughts about that). Her voice is so pretty and she acts just like she did in my dream, even though I've never talked to her before! Maybe it's a sign!

I tried to avoid asking the same questions I did in my dream, I feel like she would answer in the same way. And things could get awkward if I asked her about stuff I shouldn't already know... like that player who tried to take her out on a date and how she thinks guys like that are weird! Then again... it was just a dream, right? But I get the feeling she actually doesn't like basketball players cause I caught her slightly frowning when a group of them passed by during passing period. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't try out... as if I'd make it...

I didn't eat lunch with Moondoggie or Gidget today, but I did see them walk by when I was eating with Eureka. Moondoggie looked a bit bothered but Gidget gave me a look that said "Do you're best!" I think they understand... I do feel bad for not being with them, but we've been friends since we were kids! Besides, those two have a "thing" going on and I'm tired of being a "third wheel"... I didn't realize I said that out loud until Eureka asked "what's a third wheel".

Eureka can be a little weird at times... but I think that's cute. I mean, she's cute enough to get away with just about anything. During lunch, she looked at my eyes and said "Your eyes are really blue..." just like she did in my dream... I didn't really know what to say so I just smiled. She doesn't seem to know about many things either, but that's not a bad thing... I mean, she told me that she'd just moved to this town so of course things will be confusing for her. And its probably a good thing for me... so she doesn't realize how much of a loser I am. I wish I knew more about her. All we really talked about were things like classes and little things about each other.

I like school... only because Eureka is there. She makes me feel happy whenever she's around, but sometimes I get nervous around her... and even more nervous when I'm not around her... I hope she didn't notice or think I'm weird. I mean, we're not a couple... yet... so I should be careful not to weird her out.

Most of my classes are ok, but I hate P.E. because it makes me feel nervous about myself... I'm bad at sports and I can't last as long as other people... but all we did today was run laps around the track, so that wasn't too bad. Just as long as I don't embarrass myself in front of Eureka.

Damn, I can't believe how much homework I have already! I think my teacher gave me extra and I don't know why! I wish I asked Eureka to hang out with me after school to work with me... but Holland was pretty close by when I was about to ask and he glared at me! He scares me. I was pretty sad when I had to say bye to Eureka, even though I know I'll see her again tomorrow... But I wish we could spend more time together... more than just school time...

Gramps is yelling at me. I should sleep now...

Hope I see Eureka in my dreams tonight.

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><p><span>Eureka Entry #2:<span>

Dear Diary,

Last night I had a very odd dream about Renton. I felt really happy, for some reason, but then I felt sad that we still hadn't actually talked. When I got to school, I made up my mind to apologize for being rude yesterday and to finally introduce myself. It was going pretty well... and then Holland rudely interrupted Renton when he was about to reply! I was so mad at Holland today (I still am)! But Renton talked to me after class and he didn't seem upset with me at all! I apologized anyway...

We talked quite often today since we share the same classes. It's so strange how he sounds and acts exactly as he did in my dream. But I didn't say that... I didn't want him to think I'm weird... We walked to class and ate lunch together today. It was nice. I don't know why but it feels like I've known Renton for a long time now... Maybe it's just the dream confusing me. I can't help but smile when I'm around him. He's so goofy and friendly and I feel so comfortable around him. I hope he feels the same way about me... I mean... he's my only friend.

But, I think Renton has other friends... I feel bad for taking his time away from them. Then again, maybe he has no other friends, like me! No... that can't be right, Renton's too nice to not have other people to talk to. He's the only one who doesn't think I'm weird. The only person I have who I can talk to... but I'm scared of saying all the wrong things. It's a strange feeling. I don't know why but I'm afraid to... lose him... I get nervous sometimes just being with him, but then I get more nervous when I'm not with him...

During the few times Renton wasn't with me, another boy came up to me talking about the same thing that basketball player did! How weird. Neither of them ever asked me my name, yet they go and introduce themselves to me and start talking about dates... Maybe all boys (except Renton) are just weird... I still don't know what this "date" is. I asked the boy what a date was and he just looked at me funny, shook his head, and walked away. I think I heard him say "Wannabe innocent bitch". Not sure what that means... but it sounded really mean. It was one of the few things I didn't ask Renton about.

I didn't quite understand everything Renton said either, but that's ok. He usually explains things when I look really confused or when I ask him about it and he doesn't seem to mind at all! Although, sometimes he acts strange when I ask him about certain things (like a "third wheel") but he's very nice and seems really interested in me. I wish we had talked more about him. I barely know anything about him... Oh well! I can always talk to him tomorrow. We do spend a lot of time with each other. I hope that doesn't bug him...

Overall, school was interesting today, but I couldn't really pay much attention during class... I shouldn't have been looking at Renton and talking to him while the teacher was talking... The homework is pretty hard for me because of that. Some teachers were upset that I was talking so much during lecture and gave Renton and me extra homework (and I thought I wasn't even talking that loud)! I wish I had asked Renton to help me, but I'm worried that he might be mad at me for getting him in trouble. Then again, I don't think he realizes that the teachers were mad at us. If only I could talk to him now... I wonder where he lives? No, no, your being weird again, Eureka! Oh no, I mixed up "you're" again…

I can't explain what I'm feeling when I think of Renton or whenever I'm around him. It's something I've never felt before and something that I want to understand. The only thing I can say is I wish we could spend more time together... Does he feels the same way? No! Bad, Eureka! You're thinking strange things again! I guess it's a sign I should sleep now... My neighbor's lights just turned off so it must be late.

Good night, Diary.

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><p>They found themselves sitting on a hill in a vast field of grass and an open blue sky. They sat back against a large tree, but their view of the sky wasn't obscured too much. Renton and Eureka had slipped into another dream together. But, just as before, it would take some time for them to realize this, and it would take much, much more time to realize they were having the same dream(s). They sat close to each other and looked at the clouds in the sky for some time... Neither of them knew what to say. Neither of them wanted to ruin this moment. And then,<p>

"Umm... Renton... I-" Eureka stopped abruptly when Renton turned to look at her. With her face in a light shade of pink she continued, "W-we've been talking a lot about me... but I still don't know that much about you..." She looked away, embarrassed and confused.

"But, Eureka, I don't think we talked that much about you..." Renton replied, "I still want to know more about you..." Now Renton was blushing too. The two looked away for a moment and let the silence pass by. Then, after some time,

"...Ah! Then how about a game?" Eureka said with her hands pressed together; she had a playful thought.

"A game?"

"Yup! Let's play 'Truth or Dare'!" Eureka recalled the game from her childhood. She had never played the game with other children, but she knew the rules just by watching them play. Of course she had also heard that it was a good way to get to "know" someone (she missed the quotation marks). Renton felt a nervous feeling creeping as he nodded in agreement. "So, Renton, truth or dare?" He was getting flustered.

"T-Truth." An innocent answer.

"What's a date?" Renton twitched nervously; surprised that Eureka would use the game to ask questions like that. She had asked the question immediately, as if it were on her mind for a while, and with an intense look in her eye.

"Ah! Umm... well... it's when a guy and a girl go out to a place, or maybe different places, like the movies or a restaurant, to get to know each other... and have some fun!" Renton was nervous thinking about where he'd take Eureka. Most importantly, when would he ask her?

Eureka smiled, "That sounds nice... Ah! So that's what those boys wanted..."

"Eh?"

"Oh, right... Renton, when you weren't with me today, some boy came to me and talked about the same thing the basketball player did!" Renton panicked. "But I still didn't know what he was talking about..." Renton sighed with relief.

Something soft nudged Renton's shoulder. He looked to see a blue butterfly-like creature named "Sky-fish" (Renton wasn't sure how he knew that), floating around and insisting that Renton should be doing something now. He stared stupidly at the creature for a moment.

"Ah! It's my turn... Truth or dare, Eureka?" Renton blushed.

"Truth."

"Eureka..." She smiled at him. Not good. He stumbled around for a question. "_Say something, dumbass!_" He glanced around desperately for something to inspire him.

"_Just ask a question!_" Renton's inner voice wasn't very friendly. Eureka had a confused look on her face now, wondering what Renton was thinking. He was taking an awful amount of time to ask his question.

He spotted a pair of cherries lying next to Eureka. "_The latest issue of 'Manly Horizons' said cherry lovers are great kissers!_" His face went red as he built up courage to ask the question.

"H-h-have you ever... kissed anyone?" Now it was Eureka's turn to feel nervous. She wasn't naive enough to not know what a kiss was, but now an idea was planted in her head.

"No..." Eureka was trembling now. She wondered what it must be like to kiss someone. Now, she couldn't get the thought out of her head... and neither could Renton. Instinctively, the two started moving closer to each other, but were too afraid to look into each other's eyes. The tension in the moment was unbearable. Eureka couldn't understand anything anymore. Why did she long for such a feeling on her lips? What were these feelings she had for Renton?

Renton's inner thoughts were equally, if not more, hectic. "_Kiss her!_" "_No! It's too soon!_" "_Who cares?_" "_She'll hate me!_" "_No she won't! She wants it too!_" "_How can you say that? She's innocent!_" His thoughts were interrupted as he realized how close Eureka was. Renton was sitting with his legs open and his knees up as Eureka was in a crawling position... and Eureka's hand was dangerously invading that space between his legs. A few more inches and she'd be touching his...

Renton's heart beat faster as he eyed what she was wearing: just a white, oversized shirt that came down to her thighs (and panties underneath). He looked up at her face which was considerably close to his nose (though not as close as her hand was to his "happy spot"). Her eyes had an odd look, almost pleading for something only Renton could give.

"Truth or dare, Renton?" He barely heard her whisper, despite how they were slowly moving closer and closer together.

"Dare." He whispered back. They had stopped moving closer with their lips mere centimeters from each other. Hearts were beating hard and fast. Renton stopped breathing in anticipation of what would happen next. It was a miracle that he could hold himself back this long to listen carefully at Eureka's next words. After what seemed to be an eternity, Eureka's lips started to move slowly. Sound escaped her mouth and warped into words.

"Kiss m-" Eureka was cut short as Renton greedily stole a kiss from her lips, unable to hold back anymore. Eureka's eyes widened in shock and her heart pounded harder. She quickly calmed down as her eyes closed as if they were in acceptance of the situation. Instinctively, her arms wrapped around Renton and her hands rubbed around his back.

The physical feeling wasn't there, however. Such a thing wasn't possible for these two. Having never felt an actual kiss, the dream could not teach them such a sensation. But the emotional feeling, the longing and the need to be close to each other, as well as the happiness; such feelings were present. For an unknown time, Renton and Eureka felt such bliss being able to share such a moment together and that the feeling was mutual. Happiness filled their hearts and both wished that the moment could last forever. But then their minds began to think. They tried to absorb as much physical feeling from each other as possible. But the feeling wasn't there. Something wasn't right...

The two pulled away from each other swiftly. The sky went black and rain started falling. Cold. Sadness. Eureka was crying. As she touched her lips, her heart felt as it were breaking apart.

"Eureka... what's wrong?" Renton already knew the answer.

"This is just a dream... isn't it?" Tears were flowing harder from Eureka's eyes. She refused to look at Renton. "This moment isn't real... it never happened... and it might never happen..." She couldn't go on. The tears weren't going to stop. They refused to stop. The sadness was unbearable for Renton. But, he remained silent, wishing he could comfort Eureka; make her happy again.

"Why do I feel this pain in my chest, Renton? Why am I crying? What is this feeling?" Eureka's tear-filled eyes looked up at Renton and broke his heart. He wanted to answer, but he couldn't think of the right words to say. How should he act? What was the point of answering? If it was just a dream...

"Eureka!" Renton wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her close as he looked into her eyes. The realization that he was dreaming gave him courage. "This might just be a dream, but I mean it with all my heart... I... I love you!" The sky was blue again and the rain stopped. Sky-fish was pink now.

"Love?" Eureka was confused, but the sadness was fading away. In her mind, she wondered at the words Renton had said. In her heart, an odd feeling intruded and expelled the sadness. Renton was taken aback by how innocent the girl in his arms was: to not even know the concept of love. Well, it isn't a simple concept, and Renton himself doesn't quite understand it either. But the sun was shining again, so everything would be alright. He kissed her again, lightly and sweetly on the lips. Sky-fish was red now.

"R-Renton!" Eureka pulled back. She wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Just as I thought..." Eureka tilted her head in curiosity. "It's just a dream... so I can't really taste your lips..." She understood and felt a twinge of sadness. "Well, since it's just a dream..." Renton decided to act boldly. With a fluid motion, he repositioned himself behind Eureka and hugged her with an arm around her waist so she lay back against his chest. He placed his free hand on Eureka's bare stomach under her shirt.

"Renton! W-w-what're you doing!" Eureka was redder than a tomato. His hand started creeping upward from her stomach towards her breast. The other started in the opposite direction under her panties.

"_I can't believe I'm doing this..._" Renton felt a bit guilty as he "studied" her with his hands. "_But if this is just a dream, there's no need to hold back._" His hands was getting close to the "danger zones".

"_Oh. My. God. What is Renton doing!_" Eureka was bewildered, scandalized, and, strangely, happy all at once. "_R-Renton... Stop... please stop... No... Don't sto-_" Eureka's thoughts were interrupted as she realized Renton was at the base of one of her mounds and dangerously close to her "lips". "_H-hot... I feel hot..._"

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the two awoke in their separate beds in their separate homes. Both were an embarrassing mess of lust and bed-hair: Renton found himself hugging his pillow and was promptly embarrassed... But at least it was better than Eureka, who found her hands under her shirt and panties where Renton left off at. Both of them stumbled out of bed in panic; scared that someone would find them as they were... They desperately needed a change of underwear.

And then the dream ended.


	3. You Confuse Me

**Lucid Dreams**

I don't play basketball. I'm not sure why I keep mentioning it in this fanfic =_=

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><p><strong>Dream 3: You confuse me<strong>

Renton Entry #3:

I don't think I'll ever understand girls... I'm not sure what to say about today, so I'll start from the top.

I had an... interesting dream. I kissed Eureka and it led to other... things. But before I got too far, I woke up. I was pretty angry at first, and then embarrassed, but I got over it. It was just a dream, and it's not like Eureka would ever know I dreamed of doing things like that to her... But I am a guy after all, so you can't blame me!

By the time school started, I calmed down by telling myself over and over that it was just a dream. But then I saw Eureka and got nervous again. What made it worse was she didn't even look at me or talk to me when class started! Even in between classes, she still wouldn't talk to me and acted like she didn't hear me! It was pretty awkward during those passing periods... walking with her when she wouldn't even look at me. It didn't get any better as the day went on. She kept doing this to me through classes and passing periods. When lunch started, Eureka ran off on her own and stopped walking with me to class after that.

It's strange how you never really realize what you have until it's gone. We haven't talked for very long, but I already started missing Eureka. I wanted to talk to her, to get to know her better, but something was wrong and she wasn't telling me. Man... and yesterday went so well too! One day she's friendly and talkative, and the next day she's ignoring me! "A woman's mind changes like the autumn wind..." those words are so true.

Gidget and Moondoggie tried to help me out during lunch but even they were stumped (I didn't tell them about my dream). Maybe I was being punished for dreaming of Eureka like that... Maybe I was being punished for my selfishness and perverted thoughts... or maybe it was just "that time of the month" I always hear about. Sis never clarified that phrase when she explained why Talho was being extra mean to me. Either way I was getting really frustrated. And then P.E. happened...

Our teacher had paperwork to finish, so he paired up the class to play, of all things, basketball (one-on-one half court on the 6 courts). I ended up paired with Eureka. Even then, I could tell she was trying her hardest not to look at me, and when she did, she glared at me! She's actually really really cute when she's mad... But by then I was really annoyed. Turns out Eureka is a lot… I mean, a little better than me at basketball... so she was winning, slightly. I caught her smiling a few times... I think. My heart cried a little over how Eureka was happy about being better than me and making me mad. And then she went for a lay-up and tripped. And fell. Hard. On me. I'm really really really glad no one saw this part...

I was pretty dizzy after that fall, but when I snapped out of it, Eureka... was on top of me. Worse, our lips were touching at this point. Even worse, my hands... were firmly grabbing her... breasts. It wasn't my fault! Eureka tripped and fell on me! My hands were there out of instinct to help her! And the kiss... well that's probably her fault, but it could happen to anyone! What's more is... I think I heard her... moan. I wasn't sure, we broke apart fast (we'd been in that "position" for a bit of time). I couldn't even look at her when I stood up and I dunno... I guess I was sad, angry, embarrassed, and happy about my first kiss. The last bell of the day rang right then and Eureka ran. Fast.

I didn't want the day to end like that. I had to make up with Eureka, so I waited for her right outside the locker rooms. She took a while to get changed and she was the last one to come out, thankfully. She glared at me when she saw me, but her cheeks were really really red. So cute... Err well, I said "sorry" but she didn't reply right away, so I looked away. Then she said "Let's talk tomorrow..." softly. I just nodded and started to walk away when she grabbed my hand, stopped me, and then kissed me on the cheek! She ran off after that... Man, girls are weird.

I don't know whether or not I should be excited or nervous about tomorrow... I don't understand what happened between Eureka and me... but I hope she tells me what's wrong. It's so typical of me to mess things up... and I've only just started talking to her too! Man I'm so uncool... But, I have to say though... her lips are really soft... and her breasts… my hands are still tingling. Eureka, you confuse me...

* * *

><p><span>Eureka Entry #3:<span>

Dear Diary,

...I don't know what to say... Renton... He makes me feel so many different things. I can't stand it! Why is he so stupid! So clumsy! Calm. Calm down, Eureka... Breeeath. Deeep breathes. Ugh, why am I talking to myself in my diary! I'm so stupid... so weird... Oh no, now I'm crying and ruining the pages... Renton, what did I do wrong! Please, Renton! Help me! Help me understand...

* * *

><p>Eureka stopped writing for a moment to wipe off her tears. She started taking deep breaths to calm herself down, but she couldn't stop the trembling. She couldn't stop the aching pain in her chest no matter how hard she clutched it with her hands. She brought her fingers to her lips and closed her eyes. After the moment had passed, she grabbed her pillow, hugged it, and started writing again with her chin rested on the pillow's soft surface..<p>

* * *

><p>I'm so sorry, Diary. You must be so confused...<p>

I had a dream last night about Renton. Again. He kissed me, but then I was sad that it was just a dream. Then he started doing weird things and then I woke up. I felt so hot... my... "private" was... wet. Really, really wet. I was so confused. I was so terrified because I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand. I took a cold shower and everything calmed down. Then it was too cold so I turned it to a hot shower. I calmed down by telling myself over and over that it was just a dream and everything was ok.

It feels nice hugging a pillow... I feel safe. Warm. It's kinda hard to write at the same time, but I'll try. When I got to school, I remembered that I had to pay more attention in class so the homework wouldn't be so bad (and the teacher's wouldn't be so mad). I felt bad for ignoring Renton during that time, but I really had to focus! If I started talking to him or even look at him, I'd be too distracted... He didn't seem bothered... and that bothered me a little. I was too scared to talk to him during passing periods and I was waiting for him to talk first, but he didn't. He was ignoring me! I tried to say something but it might have been too noisy for him to hear... or he was just ignoring me. I wanted to cry, so much. My chest felt so tight...

This kept on happening as the day went on. I couldn't talk to him during class and he wouldn't talk to me during passing period. There were so many things I wanted to talk to him about... We could have actually played "Truth or Dare" like we did in my dream... But Renton must have been upset with me. Had I said something wrong yesterday? How could I have ruined things so quickly? I felt like such an idiot.

When lunchtime came, I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to the bathroom and cried for a while. Why was Renton being so mean to me? Why wouldn't he talk to me? I felt like I did something wrong... maybe I was being punished for dreaming of Renton like that... I kept crying and crying. Then lunchtime ended and I was hungry... So hungry... When I got to PE, I was getting mad. I wanted to hurt someone... I could barely believe that Renton and I were getting paired to play against each other. When I finally looked at him, I felt less angry... but I didn't want him to know that so I tried my best to keep my angry face.

It was so easy playing against Renton, and it made me happy to frustrate him so much. I was beating him 12-0 and couldn't help but smile a bit. Then, I felt a little guilty treating him like that and being mean to him, so I made up my mind to forgive him and try to fix whatever was going wrong between us. And then... I landed on him. I didn't mean to! I really didn't mean to kiss him when I fell! And his hands... I was so angry and embarrassed... but it felt so good... I made a weird sound... I don't know why! I couldn't believe that was how my first kiss happened! When we stood back up, I turned away from him and couldn't help touching my lips. Then I ran away as fast as I could when the bell rang. All the girls in the locker room looked at me funny... Someone must've seen what happened.

I couldn't tell you what I was feeling. It was too much at once for me. I was shaking so badly, so I stayed there for some time. When I calmed down and stopped shaking, I got ready to go home... but HE was waiting in front of the locker room... for me. I didn't want to let him off easy, so I gave him my angry face, again... but I couldn't be mad at him for some reason. And then he said "sorry" and I wanted to hug him so much... I wanted to say "sorry" too. But I held back. I told him we would talk tomorrow. I needed to figure myself out first… I don't know why I kissed him after that... but I felt a lot better when I did.

I don't want things to go bad between Renton and me. It feels like we've known each other for a while... but it's only been a few days. I can't think of what to say to him tomorrow. I'm scared... But I think if I sleep first, I'll feel better and know what to say to him tomorrow. Right now, though... I want to kiss him... and I want him to touch... me... I should sleep. Renton, you confuse me...

Good night, Diary.

* * *

><p>"Eureka..." Renton started walking towards the girl of his affections who was currently sitting on the ground. Her fists were clenched at the bottom of her oversized shirt as a desperate and embarrassed attempt to hide her panties. She refused to look at him. The embarrassment was too much for her and she couldn't stand to have Renton come any closer.<p>

"No!" Eureka shouted at him as large, red letters (that spelled "NO") suddenly materialized, rammed Renton head-on, and sent him flying a good distance.

Renton, dizzy from impact, stood back up, gave a short "huff", and tried again. This time, Sky-fish popped out of nowhere, flew into, and tackled Renton's "jewels". Renton cringed at the awesome power of the human mind; specifically, its ability to feel pain. It took a bit of time for him to recover and get himself off the ground after that, but he did. The first few steps he took were awkward and obviously inhibited by that low blow, but he walked it off.

"_Third time's the charm._" Renton walked up close and crouched down to Eureka. She was a little less than an arm's length from him now, which meant he was close enough for her to punch him in the face. The hit stung a little, but at least it didn't send Renton flying away. Eureka was flustered at how weak her attack was. She felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness and felt so weak.

"I think the words hurt me more than your punch, Eureka." Renton teased. Eureka was really upset now. Her face grew a very deep (but cute) frown and her cheeks went red. Renton then reconsidered those words as "not a very good idea" as Eureka then punched him in the "happy spot". Her strength had returned.

"Renton! You're unbelievable!" Eureka was blushing with her cute, yet angry face as Renton trembled in recovery. He looked up at her face and smiled.

"E-E-Eureka... you're so cute when you're mad." Eureka's frown wasn't going to disappear that easily. "What's wrong, Eureka? What did I do to make you so mad?" Eureka was quiet for a moment.

"Let's not talk about this now... Just give me some space, please." Eureka hugged her knees while she sat. She didn't really want to be alone. She just didn't know what to say. Her heart desperately wanted Renton to come from behind and hug her, but her mind was bent on keeping him as far away as possible. She eyed Renton suspiciously as he sat by her side. "Ren-" She stopped as Renton nudged her shoulder with his. Perhaps he pushed a bit too hard; with a cute exclamation of "ahh!" Eureka toppled over.

She sat back up with a "Hmph!" and nudged Renton back with her shoulder. It didn't move him very much, but it certainly got his attention. Renton couldn't help but smile at Eureka's attempt to be mad at him. To him, everything she did was too adorable.

"Eureka, if you keep acting so cute every time you're mad at me, I might just make you angry more often." He teased as Eureka let on an aura of murderous intent. He decided to ignore it.

"...Eureka, I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you mad at me. I want things to go well between us. What did I do? What should I do to make things better?" Eureka was quiet again.

After some time, Eureka laid her head on Renton's shoulder. "Let me stay here... like this, with you. Just for a little bit..." Renton returned affection by resting his head on Eureka's as she rested on his shoulder. Eureka smiled as her heart filled with content. She was happy and comfortable again.

In this moment, the young couple was happy. No petty misunderstandings or confusions could affect them as their true feelings for each other resonated in the silence. A simple moment of affection said more than any words either of them could think of. It may not have been passionate, but it was intimate; this moment was theirs and theirs alone. It would be a crime to separate the two when they were like this. They both wished this moment could last forever.

"Renton, you're so warm." Eureka broke the silence, but kept her eyes closed and her head rested on his shoulder. Renton put his hand in hers with their fingers intertwining as a way of saying "You too". The two let time pass by once again in silence.

"Eureka, you smell nice." Renton's mind had retained Eureka's fragrance. It was sweet. It was attractive. Renton rubbed his cheek around to feel Eureka's soft hair. Their eyes were still closed.

"Ahh! Renton, you're ruining my hair!" Eureka's tone was playful. "But I'll forgive you this time." She smiled.

A swarm of sky-fish flew past them and caught the couple's attention. They found themselves in a quiet meadow of beautiful trees. Rays of the sun peered through the leaves as if they were peeking into Renton and Eureka's space, wondering what the two were doing. It was another beautiful scene.

By now, the two had realized that they were dreaming again. They broke away slowly and softly to look into one another's eyes. Sadness had returned.

"These dreams feel so real, Renton." Eureka spoke first. "They make me wish I never wake up... so I can stay here with you." Renton pressed his forehead with hers.

"Me too." He then hugged her so that his chin rested on her shoulder. Eureka dug her mouth and nose into the space between Renton's chest and shoulder and breathed in deep. She too recalled his scent and felt an odd sense of nostalgia seep into her heart. She rubbed her cheek against Renton's neck, as though she were massaging it and trying to absorb as much feeling as possible. She let out a sigh of happiness. Another moment passed by.

Eureka started to feel odd. As if she was drifting away. She was starting to wake up; to return to the real world. A similar feeling gripped Renton and he too realized what was happening.

"No..." Eureka was on the verge of tears. "I don't want this dream to end. Renton, I want to stay here with you... It's not fair. This should last forever..." He grasped her hand again.

"It's ok. It was a good dream. And even if it isn't real, we can be happy we had it, right?" Renton smiled as he wiped away her tears. Eureka nodded and smiled back.

"Eureka, I love you..." He had said those words again. A familiar feeling filled Eureka's heart as her sadness had all but disappeared completely.

"Renton, I still don't know what that means..." Eureka started. "But..." She looked into his eyes for a moment and then kissed Renton's lips softly and sweetly. It was a short kiss, but it conveyed all the feelings Eureka felt about Renton and told him everything he needed to know.

Then the couple awoke, again in their separate spaces. Both felt a faint taste of each other's lips upon their own as a memory of their kiss. They brought their fingers to their lips, closed their eyes, and smiled.

And then the dream ended.


	4. Nightmare 1

**Lucid Dreams**

Children, buying and watching the Rebuild of Eva series will do terrible things to you =_= ESPECIALLY when you're in the middle of writing a fanfic involving a blue-haired girl.

That said, I will not be releasing a chapter next week (5/4/11) due to my final projects and exams for this semester taking up my time for this week and next.

Then afterwards I will be on summer break and have nothing to do but write! =)

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 4: Nightmare 1<strong>

Renton Entry #4:

Ugh, the first week of school hasn't even finished and I've already gotten myself in alot of trouble... but I'm not upset... and I'm definitely not sorry for what I did! As long as things are good with me and Eureka... I can get through anything. Uhh, I should probably start from the beginning.

Today started off really good for me, I waited for Eureka outside of class to talk to her about yesterday. She was so cute... as usual... Err, well she looked really embarrassed and looked at the ground for most of the time and apologized for being so mean to me. She explained that she was mad that I ignored her all day, and then I told her that I was ignoring her because she ignored me during class. Then she explained that she was trying to focus during class... Man, I'm such an idiot... I couldn't apologize enough, and neither could she. Then Holland came out and yelled at both of us to get in class.

The rest of the day went smoother. Eureka and I chatted about different things during passing period and kept quiet during class. Eureka seemed a bit bothered though, but she didn't say anything... at the time I thought that maybe I was just imagining things. The only thing I could guess at were all those strange notes on her desk (I never got to read them). I was really worried those were love notes... almost like a sign that I should hurry.

I decided to introduce Eureka to Doggie and Gidget, mostly because I'm worried that Eureka will get bored of talking only with me. We agreed to eat lunch today and from now on. Gidget seemed really excited and insisting on being Eureka's closest friend. And whenever Moondoggie and I were away from the girls, he would always ask me when and where I was going to take Eureka on our first date. I can't tell if it'd be too fast to do something like that, though. Either way, everything was going well... and then...

I stopped by the bathroom before lunch. I heard a lot of talking but I didn't pay much attention until I heard Eureka's name. Some guys were talking shit about her... calling her fake, a slut, and how she pretended to be innocent by acting like she knows nothing... I was trembling. I yelled at the bastards, saying that they're just mad that Eureka wouldn't go on a date with any of them. That got them mad. They started taunting me and saying that I would get nothing from Eureka even though she's probably given "it" to hundreds of guys. I grabbed the guy talking the most and shoved his face into a urinal. The rest of the three guys jumped me after that.

I can't remember much, mostly cause I was so angry and I was thrashing all of them at once, but when I came to, Moondoggie was holding me back and we were out of the bathroom. All four of them were on the ground and pretty beaten up. I felt kinda proud at that moment but I was still angry. My clothes were roughed up and I had a bruise on my cheek, but that was it. I yelled at them about Eureka and then noticed that she and Holland were watching from the side. I felt embarrassed, for a moment, and then went back to being angry... I think I heard a few girls giggling.

I was surprised I got off with only a detention. Holland mumbled a few words that I didn't hear, but I didn't really care for what he said. I figured after my "incident" that Eureka had heard those hurtful words earlier. Maybe all those mean things they said about here were in those notes and that was what bothered her all day... I couldn't believe she wouldn't tell me about stuff like that! We didn't talk for the last few class periods and suddenly, today was like yesterday... I wasn't mad at her, and I don't think she was either. I just didn't know what to say... Before I knew it, school ended and I was in detention.

Thankfully, it went by fast and I got my work done. When I was leaving I was surprised that Eureka was waiting for me. Right away, I told her not to hide things like that from me. And she got a little mad. She told me she couldn't bear to see me get hurt or bothered because of her... but she still wanted us to talk to each other, comfortably. I have to say she's so cute when she blushes... so innocent...

She couldn't stay too long and I still wanted to talk, so I gave her my cell number and told her to call me whenever and for whatever reason. She still hasn't...

Damn those bastards... today should have been a good day, but it was ruined. I can tell that Eureka was really tired and frustrated by today... but at least things are a lot better between us... I hope Eureka calls me.

* * *

><p><span>Eureka Entry #4:<span>

Dear Diary,

Today was... exhausting. Too many different emotions are wearing me down. Things got better between Renton and me. But today...

Ugh, I'm going to call him... now.

Good night, Diary.

* * *

><p>By the time the phone rang its third ring, Eureka's heart was already threatening to abandon her body. She held her breath in heavy anticipation and nervousness; would Renton pick up the phone this late? What would he say? The phone had rung five times now. Eureka was panicking. Her hands started shaking from the lack of oxygen. Seven times; was it possible for a 14 year old to have a cardiac arrest? Eureka wondered.<p>

"Hello?" Eureka almost collapsed on the spot. The wave of relief had hit her like a tsunami.

"Renton... it's me, Eureka." Her mind went blank for a millisecond with panic at what she should say next. "I'm sorry... did I wake you up?" That was a good start, she felt.

"Oh! No, of course not." Eureka detested and yet was extremely grateful that she wasn't face to face with Renton at that moment. "I just got out of the shower. Sorry, did I miss any of your calls earlier?"

"No! It's just..." An awkwardly long moment of silence had passed. Eureka mentally slapped herself for pausing so long. "Uhh... I... I wanted to thank you for earlier... and I wanted to say sorry for making you worry." Renton didn't respond, but Eureka wasn't going to wait.

"I was really... happy... when said 'you don't deserve to even talk about Eureka' to those boys." Eureka was blushing now. She grabbed her pillow and hugged it tightly.

"I'm glad, Eureka." Renton's voice was calm. Eureka was feeling warm, fuzzy, and embarrassed now. She wanted to tell him how she wanted to see him so badly. She wanted him to hold her and to kiss her... but if only they were face to face. She tightened her grip on the pillow. The ear piece of her phone continued. "I'm sorry for worrying you too... but..." another pause.

"Renton, I don't want you to get hurt because of me..." Hugging her pillow so close to her mouth had muffled the words a bit. "But I don't want to lie or hide anything from you. So I'll try my best to tell you everything, but please don't do anything reckless even if what happened to day happens again."

"I can't promise that, Eureka..." Renton said softly. Eureka sighed in response. Another awkward silence passed. Time to change the subject.

"Umm, Renton, a-a-are you busy this weekend?"

"I'm not sure..."

"Oh. Okay, I was just wondering." Eureka gulped nervously. "I mean, I'm really not doing anything and Holland is leaving on a business trip this weekend... so..." She couldn't believe she was telling him all of this. Could she be any more obvious? "It could get pretty lonely for me..." Eureka mentally scolded herself for being so obvious.

"Uhh... I... T-T-That should be nice, not having to put up with Holland for a weekend." Maybe she should have been more clear.

"...It'd be better if I didn't have to spend as much time with Holland and at the same time..." She paused to figure out the next words. "Not be lonely..."

"Yeah..." Renton said simply. Eureka let out a sigh of disappointment and embarrassment.

"_What are you doing, Eureka? He doesn't want you. He doesn't need you. You're not ready for him. You're not good enough for him. Give up. Maybe you'll get lucky later._" Eureka wasn't feeling sad enough to start crying, but she was definitely feeling blue.

"Well, Renton, I really wanted to talk to you... and say 'good night' before you went to sleep." Eureka was feeling stupid now.

"That's really... sweet of you, Eureka." Renton paused. "Y-You have a really kind heart." Eureka's heart felt much better now, but she was still slightly depressed.

"Thank you, Renton..." She couldn't go on. "Good night."

"Good night..."

* * *

><p>It was cold. It was hard. It was a prison cell. Renton and Eureka opened their eyes and found themselves in orange prison uniforms. Eureka was on top of Renton, so she didn't quite suffer from the hard concrete "bed" Renton suffered from. The couple wasn't embarrassed. It was too cold and scary to be embarrassed. Shouts and yells echoed from a distance and there wasn't enough light to see past the cell bars.<p>

The couple had never known fear such as this before. The darkness was uncomfortable and suffocating. The cold crept in and intruded their bodies, rendering them unable to sleep and unable to move. Neither could really explain why they felt such fear and inhibition to act. But they held each other. As scared as they were, they held each other tightly.

"R-Renton... I'm scared." Eureka was trembling and cuddling as much as she could into Renton's chest.

"Everything will be okay, Eureka..." Renton tightened his hold on Eureka.

"I want to get away from here." Something was watching them.

"Me too... Don't worry, I'll get us out of here."

The cell door opened and uniformed humanoid figure walked in. It had no face. It had no emotion. And it had no indication of being alive. But Renton wasn't going to relax. This thing wanted to hurt them, he felt. He needed to protect Eureka. His Eureka. He needed to get them out.

"Renton?" He had sat up with Eureka and came closer to her ear.

"Let's run. Now!" With a swift motion, Renton jumped away from Eureka and punched the guard. It crumpled as an alarm went off and everything went red. The whole place was about to get hostile. The couple ran as fast as they could, hand in hand. Many uniforms attacked them. But Renton kept plowing on with his heart was pounding hard. It felt as though they had been running for an eternity. They couldn't stop. They wouldn't stop. They had to escape.

For a moment, Renton lost his hold on Eureka's hand and in that same moment a trap door opened below Eureka. She fell with a scream. Luckily, Renton managed to catch her hand again as she fell. His body hit the ground hard as his arms hung over the edge, straining to hold Eureka. He didn't care about the pain. He wasn't going to lose her. Eureka looked down at the pit and failed to see any sign of a bottom.

"Eureka! Your other hand!" Renton pleaded. Frantically, Eureka brought her free hand and gripped Renton firmly.

Unfortunately, as Renton started standing and pulling Eureka up, a hard boot kicked him in the back and into the pit. Now it was Renton's turn to scream; only for a moment, however. The couple fell together for quite some time. As they fell, the pulled close to each other and forced their eyes shut. A hint of a tear escaped Eureka's eyes as she suddenly feared Death. Renton held her tightly with his lips pressed against her head, as if to resist screaming and losing coherency. They continued to fall.

The fall duration eventually got to be too long for the two, however.

"Eh?" The couple opened their eyes and blinked twice at one another. They weren't falling anymore. They were on their feet, uninjured and unhurt, and on solid ground. The confusion of the moment had blocked out all previous emotions that had gripped them before.

The two stood and stared stupidly at one another for a moment until Sky-fish appeared and knocked Eureka upside her head.

"Run!" It quickly flew off in the opposite direction in came, frantically trying to escape doom. Eureka rubbed her head for a second, and then panic had returned to the couple and they ran off fearfully as well in the same direction.

After a while the two hid themselves in a closet and embraced each other. Hearts were pounding hard, threatening to forsake their bodies. Renton and Eureka both took deep breathes and began to calm down. They were trying their best to escape the monsters that wouldn't let them be happy. Monsters that wanted them to be miserable. Running footsteps could be heard going past their hiding spot. It seemed like millions were hunting them down.

Finally, after a while, the two stopped trembling and looked in one another's eyes. The absent blushes from earlier had now found their way to their cheeks. Silence had finally settled around them, but the adrenaline and fear were still quite prevalent in their bodies. Another eternity had passed and the tension was getting to be too much. Neither of them knew what to say. Eureka turned her back towards Renton and laid against him. Her head fit snuggly in the space between his chest and his shoulder. Renton responded by wrapping his arms above her stomach (and awfully close to her "womanhood") and hugged her softly. Everything was calm now. Eureka sighed with content. No words were needed between these two as they rested together with their eyes closed.

Suddenly, they both felt a sharp pain erupt from their stomach. A warm liquid was trickling their skin and breathing became harder. Renton's mind went wild and frantic, trying to understand the situation that it hopelessly could not. Eureka forced her eyes open in fear and pain.

Her eyes met the image of the blade of a sword, protruding from her belly and penetrating from behind her; Renton had been impaled as well. Blood had starting seeping out and painting them in a gruesome light. It mixed with the tears that fell from Eureka's face. Renton had realized all this at the same time. His arms responded by tightening their grip on Eureka. This was it. They were going to die right here and right now. The inevitability of the situation washed over both of them with an icy feeling in anticipation of their last moment.

"R-R-Ren... ton..." Eureka could barely say his name. "I... don't want... to die..." Her head laid back against him in a desperate attempt for her eyes to meet Renton's. "Not now... Not like this..." Her tears wouldn't stop. They refused to stop.

"I... I'm so sorry, Eureka." Renton's whispering had a deathly tone. His eyes finally met hers and started swelling with tears. There were so many experiences he would never have with her.

"We... never had... a chance... to be together..." She was barely able to keep her eyes awake. She began to tremble; everything was going cold and dark and her fear of Death began to grip her. "Ren... ton..." She was losing her strength. She couldn't talk anymore, but her eyes pleaded with Renton.

"Eure... ka..." Renton was slipping away too. With fierce determination, his body willed him through to build up the last of his energy to kiss her. Eureka responded as best she could. They kissed with as much passion they could muster, knowing that their time had come. The kiss would end, however. They began to slip away, but forced themselves to keep their eyes locked on each other's for as long as they could.

Slowly, but surely, their eyes began to close as well, in unison. Regret gripped them, but so had the sleepiness. The last image they saw was of each other. And then...

* * *

><p>Renton awoke in panic and fear. His heart went into a panic as his immediate surroundings became chaotic. He breathed heavily and deeply as his face retained the evidence of his tears. Eventually, he calmed down. His brain readjusted and insisted that he was alive; he had simply been dreaming. The aftershocks of the nightmare had set him to a state of fear and regret. Logic had still not fully kicked in, thus he grabbed his phone and hit "redial".<p>

Three rings: Renton's heart started racing again, so soon after it had calmed down.

Five rings: He had been holding his breath for quite some time, it seemed. His body was trembling now.

Seven rings: A stroke or cardiac arrest was due for this poor child.

"Renton!" The ear piece of the phone exclaimed. Renton collapsed back onto his bed in massive relief. Hearing her voice was like food for a starving man.

"Eureka!" He took a moment to calm himself by laying back in his bed. Was he hearing things? Eureka seemed pretty upset and panicked herself. He decided he must be imagining things; there's no way Eureka would be breathing so hard in the morning. Of course, he was panicking as he stumbled to speak his next words.

"E-E-Eureka... willyougoonadatewithmetonight?

"Yes!" She responded immediately, despite how fast Renton had asked the question. Renton blushed in embarrassment over how he had managed to string nine words into one. Another awkward silence had settled in the moment. Things were getting uncomfortable and unbearable quite fast.

"Umm..." Eureka started.

"Eh, we'll talk about it at school today." Renton smiled stupidly to himself.

"Okay!"

"...Ah! Eureka!"

"Hmm?"

"Good morning..."

"...Good morning." The reply sounded oddly muffled to Renton, as if a pillow was covering her mouth.

He shook his head; he was probably just imagining things, again.


	5. The First Date

**Lucid Dreams**

To reward my faithful followers, I present to you a much longer chapter this time around =)

Side note (to anyone that cares) I will be spending the next few months in Korea and China, so in between the time zone change and tourism, release days may be irregular but I will do my best to make sure the fall consistently close to the way they've been before.

Thanks again for reading =)

Remember feedback is always appreciated!

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 5: The First Date<strong>

Renton Entry #5:

I've got about 30 minutes before I have to head out and meet Eureka on our date, so this entry won't be very long.

I can't believe how slow this day went! It felt like an eternity just waiting for the bell for each period to ring. Between classes Eureka and I agreed to meet at the café, but I'm still really nervous... I've never done anything like this before! Moondoggie is really helpful about this kind of stuff, but I'm already starting to forget his advice... I can't believe this is happening... I don't think I would have done any of this if it weren't for that nightmare, though… But hopefully Eureka doesn't think I'm weird or anything. I mean, we haven't known each other for very long and I've already asked her out on a date!

What should I do after I meet her? Dinner... Okay! But what should I do after that? Damn, I should have planned this out better… I wonder if I'll get to kiss her. I mean, we've already kissed, accidently. No, no, that'd be too sudden for her… I should take it slow. I wouldn't want to scare her... But it does feel like I've known her for a long time now… These stupid dreams are confusing m-

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><p>"Reeeenton! What'cha doing?" A tall black hair woman with a mischievous smile had snuck up on Renton and pinched both his cheeks painfully.<p>

"Talho!" Renton panicked and tucked his journal under his shirt.

"Oho! What are you hiding from me?" Talho mercilessly assaulted him, but Renton wasn't giving in.

"Your cheeks are red! Have you been drinking?" Renton managed to fend her off.

"Mmm, maybe?" Talho burped.

"That's disgusting, Talho." Diane had entered the fray. Talho simply giggled at Diane's comment. "Renton, we're going out tonight. You can handle yourself, right?"

"Err, yea. Where's Gramps?"

"He's out on a trip, somewhere."

"Oh… Well I'm going out tonight, so-"

"Ooh a date?" Talho interjected as Renton blushed. "With who?"

"You wouldn't know her!"

"Aha! So you are going on a date!" Renton stuttered at Talho's trickery.

"Gosh, I wish I was going on a date with that guy next door." Diane frowned. "He really is good looking."

"Oh, yeah! That guy is hot! Didn't he ask you to look after his sister this weekend since he'll be gone?" Talho inquired. Diane nodded sadly.

"Oh no, I'm going to be late!" Realization hit Renton as he looked up at his clock. He tossed his journal into his desk's drawer and locked it (he was quite happy it had that function).

"Aww, he keeps a diary? That's so cute!" Talho teased.

"It's a journal, not a diary!" Renton shouted as he ran out the front door.

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><p><span>Eureka Entry #5:<span>

Hello, Diary!

I'm really excited today because Renton asked me out on a date this morning! We're to meet at the local café in about an hour and a half, so I still have a lot of time. I'm really nervous, though. What should I wear? What will we do? What if I say or do something wrong? I should probably think this through…

School was a blur. I wasn't really able to focus that well in class today, but I think everyone else was the same. It's the weekend! I didn't get any of those mean notes today, which was pretty nice. I think Renton scared a lot of people yesterday, but it can get kind of lonely when everyone starts avoiding you and tries their best not to talk to you... But, it's okay! I still have Renton! Even more, I have Gidget and Moondoggie that I can talk to!

Gidget and I talked for quite a while about the date while the boys were busy with P.E. examinations (the girls have to do that on Monday). I told her that at first I was worried that Renton and I might be doing things a little too fast. She seemed really confused because all Renton and I have been doing is talking and eating lunch together. When she said that, I realized that I only thought we were moving fast because of my dreams… In those dreams, we've done more than just talk. But those are just dreams… I really should be careful to not let them affect me.

When I think about it though… Renton and I have kissed… accidentally. And he's touched my… well it was all an accident so it doesn't count.

Hmm, what should I wear? It's still fairly warm outside so maybe I'll wear my white shorts… What else am I forgetting? I think I got everything… Shower, check. Brushed my teeth, check. Homework... Ehh, I can do that later this weekend. There's no way I could concentrate on that right now.

Holland doesn't know I'm going out to see Renton. I hope it stays that way or he might not let me out of the house at all. At least he isn't bothering me because he's too busy with his business trip. I'm not sure where he's going and why, but I don't really care much. I doubt he'd tell me even if I asked. At least I won't have to worry about Holland finding out about my date and I won't have to put up with him teasing me! I think he mentioned that someone was going to be checking up on me. Oh, speak of the devil, Holland's leaving! I should at least go say "bye" to him.

…

Wow, it feels kind of weird having the house all to myself. I just gave my "babysitter" a call. She seems pretty nice and I told her I would be out on a date (and I asked her not to tell my brother). She told me that she understood and she wouldn't tell him. I wonder what it's like to have a sister… Would she tease me as much as Holland does? Maybe she would be helping me get ready... Maybe she would tell me how to deal with all this... That sounds nice.

Hmm, I should head out soon. Should I take you with me, Diary? No, that'd be weird… Actually, would it? No one would really know you're a diary and maybe no one will really care… I might lose you though… Ahh, what should I do? I'd have to carry you around everywhere since my pockets aren't big enough… That sounds really inconvenient... and what if someone were to read you? What if Renton were to read you? Oh, that'd be embarassing... Sorry, Diary, I'm going to have to leave you behind. I'm going to go now.

Bye-bye, Diary.

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><p>"…So that's how Moondoggie got his name?" Eureka couldn't help but laugh.<p>

"Don't tell him I told you that! He might get mad at me." Renton replied.

"Hmm… What about Gidget?"

"I have no idea why she calls herself that. Maybe Moondoggie knows!"

"I should ask her sometime." Eureka smiled.

Dinner was actually comfortable for the young couple. All the anxiety built up beforehand was for nothing and in this strange moment, nothing could touch them. It was as though they were dreaming again. Neither could really remember how they got to where they were now. Neither could really believe how well things were going. Neither could really say that any of that mattered now. Of course, it would only be a matter of time before they would start thinking too much, as all teenagers do.

The café was simple and, unsurprisingly, a popular spot for many couples. Renton spotted quite a few of his classmates who, unfortunately, had the same idea as Renton and had chosen to take their dates to the café as well.

"_I'm such an uncreative idiot…_" Renton mentally scolded himself as he continued talking. "_Careful, Renton, you're talking too much, she's going to think you're weird! Stop talking too slow. No! Stop talking too fast! You're such an idiot..._" None of this, thankfully, translated onto Renton's face. Eureka seemed to be enjoying herself, however, and that's what matters the most. Little did he know…

"_Eureka! What are you doing? Say something! Say something different! Be interesting! Stop letting him do all the talking! You're such an idiot. He's going to think you're weird. Or boring..._" Eureka's smile would never betray her real thoughts to Renton. She wasn't hearing his words, which was unfortunate because the next thing she heard was,

"So, what do you think, Eureka?"

"Uhh…" Her composure was about to be blown. She was stumbling for words now. "_Uh oh..._"

Luckily for Eureka's sake (and perhaps unluckily for Renton), Gidget materialized out of nowhere and hugged Eureka from behind.

"Eureka!" Gidget's hold was a bit too strong for the blue-haired girl.

"Gid… get… I… c-c-can't breathe!" The hazel-skinned girl relaxed her hold.

"Sorry! How are you two? Enjoying yourselves? Is the food good?" The couple blinked for a moment, not sure what question to answer first.

"Gidget, let them breathe." Moondoggie appeared behind Renton. "Sorry about that, guys, she spotted you two from across the street and couldn't help but intrude."

"It's okay!" Renton was slightly annoyed at Gidget, but the moment had passed. "We're almost done here anyway."

"What are you two gonna do now?" Moondoggie asked casually. Of course, he already knew what Renton's plan was.

"Well, I was actually asking Eureka if she'd like to go to the movie theater… before Gidget came in." Renton glared at Gidget.

"Ooh! How fun! Let's all go together!" Gidget was imposing herself again.

"You're being rude, again…" Moondoggie sighed.

"Well, I don't really mind, it's up to Eureka if she even wants to go." Renton really meant it. A double date might actually work out better.

"I don't mind either!" Eureka was actually desperate for Gidget to be with her at this moment. "I'll be right back though, I need to go to the restroom."

"Me too!" Gidget happily followed; she understood that Eureka's real intentions.

After the girls were gone, Moondoggie swiftly took Eureka's seat and gave Renton a serious look.

"So, how are things going so far?"

"Ehh… It's going okay, but I'm worried because I'm doing most of the talking… I feel like she's getting bored of me…"

"That's not true, she's probably really nervous, dude. Give yourself some credit."

...

"I'm so nervous… I don't know what to say to him! Gidget, what if he thinks I'm boring? I can't think of anything to say now!" Eureka was looking in the mirror and had her hands pressed against her cheeks. Gidget simply shook her head with her eyes closed and sighed.

"Relax! It sounds like you were doing okay earlier until you started thinking too much."

"What should I do? I've never been to a movie theater!" Eureka played with her hair nervously with one hand and chewed the finger of her other hand nervously.

"Like I said, relax! You don't have to talk to him during the movie. Actually, it's better if you don't. You might make some people mad." Eureka's worried frown wasn't going away. "Hey, I'm on a date too! Just watch me and Moondoggie and follow our lead." She smiled reassuringly at Eureka.

"Okay…"

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><p>Just as Gidget had ordered, Eureka calmed down. It was easy to focus just on the movie and not worry too much about keeping Renton interested. Eureka and Renton had taken the seats in the back of the theater while Gidget and Moondoggie took the seats directly in front of them. Both couples sat in chairs that resembled small futons that could seat two and lacked arm rests (love seats, as they are commonly called). The particular theater they were in was quite empty with a few people scattered around; the movie they were watching had been out for a while, but none of those in attendance had gotten around to seeing it till now.<p>

Neither Eureka nor Renton knew what kind of movie this was, however. Gidget and Moondoggie had mischievously chosen a horror movie. Things were about to get very interesting...

The psychology behind watching a scary movie is quite sound, actually (for those of you wondering). The heightened sense of fear and the resulting heart pounding during specific moments, while in the presence of someone of the preferred gender, can be mistaken for sexual attraction by one's body's instinctual components. In other words, if you experience fear while being around someone of the opposite gender that you find moderately attractive, you will be even more sexually attracted to said individual (refer to the article "6 Factors that Secretly Influence who You have Sex with"). But I digress.

It didn't take long for the movie to go from slightly interesting to extremely scary. The director of this particular film liked to go for quick, cheap scares. Almost instantly, Eureka let out a squeak of terror and cuddled up against Renton. Of course, Renton was scared too, but he held still and acted strong. He couldn't afford to look weak in front of Eureka. He put the arm closest to Eureka around her shoulders and hugged her slightly.

"_Smooth._" He mentally patted himself on the back. Another cheap scare on screen had caused Renton to flinch slightly.

"_He's just as scared as I am!_" Eureka giggled softly to herself and casually rested her head on his shoulder.

The movie continued for another hour and the couple had started getting comfortable with each other; it wasn't quite as scary with them cuddling together. Like clockwork, Eureka found herself feeling much more affectionate towards Renton. She could never tell him during that moment, of course. She didn't want to ruin this moment so she followed Gidget's advice and kept quiet. Eureka took a deep breath. "_Renton smells nice..."_

Renton had the same feeling as well. His heart started pounding nervously as he thought of his next move. With Eureka leaning against his arm, a feeling of numbness gripped his hand. She was close enough for Renton's nose to catch a sweet fragrance. "_Eureka smells nice..._" His body felt how soft her body was as she pressed softly against him occasionally. His mind, being confronted with all these sensations, was being thrown into an array of emotions. He couldn't help but eye her lips discreetly. Those soft lips… He gulped nervously and cast those thoughts out of his head.

"_Too soon… The way we are right now is good enough._" Renton's self-control was back. The movie continued on.

Unfortunately for Renton, however, the movie also had a very explicit sex scene. He tensed up as soon as it started, as though he were locking himself from moving at all. It didn't help that this particular scene was quite long; it seemed as if someone was mocking and teasing Renton to see how long he could hold back from Eureka. The urges were back.

Things weren't much better for Eureka. Holland had never given her "the talk" so a part of her was puzzled at what she was watching, but she couldn't help but imagine acting out the same scene with Renton. Her face was burning red. The couple on screen seemed to be enjoying themselves... Eureka was feeling hot now. She wanted Renton to touch her. Eureka pressed up against him a bit more firmly and rested her head higher up on his shoulder. Not good.

Renton gulped again and desperately tried to put his mind on other things. The moans and kisses from the movie screen were gripping him mercilessly. The sweet smell from Eureka's hair was intoxicating. Her skin, her lips, everything about her seemed so soft. "_Just a little touch..._" Renton's body began to make demands. He wanted her badly. Every aspect of the theater was taunting him now. Renton could've sworn that the movie's volume was getting louder. Worse, Moondoggie and Gidget were kissing right in front of the couple. Eureka had noticed this too.

"_Follow our lead!_" Eureka nervously thought about Gidget's advice. She couldn't bring herself to initiate, however. But she did want it, desperately. She couldn't remember how Renton's lips tasted nor how they felt that time they had their "accident".

The couple sat there in extreme awkwardness and sexual tension. Finally, Renton looked into Eureka's eyes deeply. The two stared into each other's eyes for a while, no longer interested in the movie (the sex scene had ended). Renton found himself extremely startled by the look in Eureka's eyes.

"_She wants it! Take her! What are you waiting for, dumbass?_" Renton resisted his inner urges.

"Renton…" She had said his name so softly with a hint of wanting; Renton thought he would go insane. How much time had passed since they had been staring into each other's eyes? It felt like an eternity. The two stayed in this frustrating stalemate and began to wonder if this was all really happening. Renton began to lean in, slowly.

"_Too slow!_" It was Eureka's turn to feel tortured. "_Renton… Please…_" Her lips were quivering.

And then, the movie ended. The lights turned on abruptly and the couple stared dumbly at each other for a few seconds before they broke apart quickly. Their faces were as red as strawberries as they tried their best to not look at each other.

"So… Did you two enjoy the movie?" Gidget teased.

* * *

><p>The walk back was eerily quiet. Moondoggie and Gidget had gone together, in a different direction, and left the two alone. Renton had simply muttered that he would walk Eureka back home, despite her meek insistence that it was unnecessary. Neither of them could think of anything to say. Nothing had happened between them, yet they both felt as though they had overstepped their boundaries.<p>

As they walked, Renton noticed Eureka shivering slightly. He pondered for a moment and worked up his courage. With a swift, fluid motion Renton took off his jacket and, without a word, put it on Eureka over her shoulders.

"Thank you…" Eureka quietly whispered. Another silent moment passed. And then, "We're here…" She walked up to the door of her home with Renton close by and turned to face him. Eureka had a sheepish look on her face with her eyes determined to stare at the ground.

"Umm… I had a really good time…" The words sounded worse aloud, to Eureka, than did in her head. "You really didn't have to walk me home… I mean, now you have a long way to walk back, don't you?" She found enough courage to look at him.

"Eureka… you live here?" Renton asked simply as she nodded in confusion. "Uhh… Eureka… I think we're neighbors." It took a moment for that to sink in.

"Eh?" Eureka looked at the house next to hers. "All this time… we lived right next to each other…" She suddenly felt embarrassed. Silence, again.

"Hey, Eureka?" She turned to look at Renton earnestly, causing him to blush. "I'm really sorry… If I made you feel uncomfortable today…" Eureka looked away again. Renton understood. "See you on Monday…" He spoke quietly and sadly.

Renton turned and began to walk slowly away from Eureka. He felt stupid and awkward. How could he have blown his chances with the girl of his dreams so easily? He thought he would cry at the sadness and wondered how he should have done things differently. Suddenly, he felt Eureka's soft and delicate arms hug him from behind and stopped.

"Renton… I meant it. I had a really, really good time today…" Eureka blushed at her words. "I'm glad I got to spend time with you." She relished in pressing against Renton and feeling him as much as she could. He stood there quietly. "I want to spend more time with you. I want to get to know you better. I want to talk to you about so many things…"

"Eureka…" He whispered.

"Renton…" Her heart was pounding hard. "Come inside…" She felt embarrassed by her own request. The intimate and passionate scene from the movie started playing over and repeating in her head. Was she ready for that? She began to tremble. Renton softly grabbed her hands and unraveled her arms from around him. He turned around to face her with her hands still in his.

"Eureka… Thank you." Renton hugged her and held her for that moment. They stayed like this for a while, but neither one of them cared. "Don't force yourself. We can take things slowly… If you want…" Eureka felt a wave of relief crash over her and nodded. She rubbed her cheek against Renton's chest. After another long and tender moment, they broke away softly and slowly.

"Good night, Eureka…"

"Good night, Renton…"

* * *

><p>It was too cold. The grass felt good on her bare feet, but Eureka was cold. The wind wasn't harsh, but it wasn't comforting either. She wished she was wearing more than just her usual over-sized white shirt and panties (it didn't help that she didn't have a bra on either). This place felt familiar, somehow, but she couldn't quite remember. She looked up at a black sky and felt lonely. She shivered. She remembered how warm it felt when Renton had held her and her heart began to ache again. Where was he? She wanted him. She needed him. But she could barely keep her eyes open. "<em>I can't stay here...<em>" She started walking.

Eureka felt strange and disoriented. She couldn't walk properly and felt an immense amount of fatigue. It felt like she had been walking forever. One foot in front of the other, she slowly made her way across the field of grass. Suddenly, Eureka felt a breeze of warmth in front of her. She stretched her arms forward, as if to catch it. She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, she wasn't cold anymore. The wind was gone and it was much warmer in here now. Where was she?

"_Am I dreaming?_" Eureka's eyes were half-closed. She rubbed them sleepily and noticed Renton in front of her, sleeping on a bed. He had a pair of sweat pants on, but nothing to cover his upper body. The blanket covered only his right half. "_I must be dreaming…_" She thought sadly as she stood and swayed slightly in place. After a long stretch of time, she stepped forward towards Renton.

With a smooth motion, she slipped easily into Renton's bed and pulled his blanket over them both and cuddled against his back. It was much warmer here now. The cold wouldn't bother her as long as Renton was here. He began to stir.

"Renton…" Eureka's whisper had a pleading tone. He rolled around to face Eureka; his eyes were half-open.

"Eureka? Oh… This must be a dream…"

"Yeah…" She pressed her forehead against his.

"I feel so sleepy though…"

"Me too…" Eureka's hands locked with Renton's. Slowly, he turned to lie on his back and Eureka adjusted to be on top of him. Her legs saddled his waist area. Sleepily, they looked into each other's eyes.

"Eureka…" Renton whispered. They kept their droopy eyes locked on each other's. There was a strange kind of peace that had settled over them in this moment. It was quiet and it was comfortable. Another eternity passed like this, but neither one of them was going to complain.

Then, in an abrupt and sudden motion, Eureka brought her hands around Renton's head and kissed him passionately. She pressed against him fiercely and firmly, as though she had been starving and hungry for him. "_If it's just a dream…_" Eureka thought. "_I can do whatever I want, in this moment… I can be happy, in this moment…_" She savored the taste and every possible feeling she could from Renton. Her sleepy mind was barely processing everything. Each breath she took felt rewarding to her lungs.

Despite how loosely her shirt hung on her body, Eureka felt constricted. She broke away from Renton's lips, momentarily, to take off her shirt. She felt cold again, but it was only for a brief moment. Eureka pressed against Renton immediately. Her soft breasts rubbed against his skin and her mind was captivated in sweet pleasure. Her heart felt as though it would escape her body and attempt to be one with Renton's. It struggled hard within her chest against all physical constraints and beat hard against Renton's chest.

Eureka kissed him again sweetly, but she couldn't stop at just one kiss. She playfully kept pecking him on the lips. Each time was a new, pleasing sensation for her. It was like a drug and she acted as though she would never get another chance to be happy. She couldn't settle for short kisses anymore; Eureka pressed her lips firmly and passionately against Renton's, again. Her face had a deep shade of pink. Her body began to heat up as if Renton's were fueling the fire. "_Ahh... I feel wet..._" She found herself puzzled at the sensation between her legs. It demanded satisfaction. Immediately. It demanded Renton. How could he help her?

Renton's mind struggled to keep up with the situation. He could barely keep up with all the sensations. Her skin, her lips, her hair, her tongue; they were all soft beyond comprehension. A part of Renton's mind wondered at how he could be so lucky. That sweet, intoxicating smell from earlier that day hadn't left her at all. Even now, it seemed so much more distinct and bold. His ears caught Eureka's soft moan of pleasure. Every part of his skin that touched Eureka's bare skin was tingling with sensation. His body was much too tired, however. Renton could barely move his arms and each movement took all his willpower to execute.

"Eureka… I'm too tired..." Renton was blushing at being able to feel and see Eureka's womanhood, but he really was quite tired.

Eureka sighed with disappointment. She took his hand and pressed it against her breast as if to tempt him and to coax him along. His hand felt good. Really good. Her eyes had an odd look of lust that Renton never expected to see. She wasn't going to give up that easily. Eureka took Renton's other hand and pressed it against her other breast. Wasn't she good enough for him? Didn't he want her? She didn't want to lose him. She couldn't stand to think of losing him.

"You're beautiful, Eureka… I will always want you... always need you... and I will never leave you..." It was as if Renton read her mind. He willed himself to sit up slightly to kiss her on the lips again. As he lay back down, he wrapped his arms around Eureka's soft and smooth back and brought her down with him. "But let's stay like this, for now… okay? Just for now..."

"Okay then…" Eureka sighed with content as she rested against his chest and closed her eyes. The heat was cooling down and the fire was starting to die down. Her lust was becoming drowsy as Renton sleepily wrapped the blanket around them both and closed his eyes too.

"Eureka… I love you… I wish I had the courage to say and do all this when I'm not dreaming…" Eureka wrapped her arms around Renton and hugged him tightly as if to say "me too". Sleepiness was quickly gripping her too. Her face reduced to a lighter shade of pink. All promiscuous and lustful thoughts had been expelled from Eureka's mind.

It was peaceful again. The mood in that moment would have never suggested how passionate of a scene could have been witnessed mere seconds before. As the two lay there in each other's embrace, they felt true happiness in sharing such a tender moment together. It wasn't quite as dark anymore; an inexplicable light was slowly chasing away the darkness. In Renton's last conscious moments, his ears caught a soft, distant chirp of the morning birds' songs. "_Is the dream almost over?_" In Eureka's last conscious moments, her ears caught a strange sound of movement. "_Is that Sky-Fish, flying away?_"

And together, the young couple drifted away into peaceful sleep.


	6. The End of a Dream

**Lucid Dreams**

Apologies for the late update!

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><p><strong>Dream 6: The End of a Dream<strong>

It wasn't uncomfortable, but there was a warm, odd feeling of weight on Renton's chest. As one accustomed to waking up in an empty bed, the young boy found himself puzzled and confused. What was this feeling? It felt so familiar, yet unfamiliar. But, it wasn't heavy, in fact, it was quite pleasant. It was warm. It was soft. It smelled good. Renton opened his eyes.

His eyes opened to meet the sight of a young, cute, and innocent, blue-haired girl; the girl of his affections, Eureka. Still asleep, her head rested on his shoulder near his neck. She breathed slowly and deeply. Each of those breaths tickled Renton slightly. For a while, his eyes remained fixed, sleepily, on his infatuation. He blinked slowly as his brain slowly processed this visual information.

Slowly, but surely, he began to understand the situation. "_I'm still dreaming..._" Well, at least he thought he understood what was going on. Renton's deepest and most basic logic had already established that there was absolutely no possibility that what was occurring now (and what had happened when we last left this couple) was reality.

"_What a great dream..._" Renton smiled sleepily. "_I hope this never ends._" He started blushing as he realized Eureka was still topless. If only she was lying on her back against Renton, instead of lying chest downwards, he could see her... Renton was getting "excited". He started to fidget slowly and slyly. Perhaps he could get her to readjust...

"Mmm..." Eureka stirred, but kept her chest pressed against Renton. She rubbed her eye clumsily for a moment and left her eyes half-open. She noticed Renton and remained still and silent for a while; she was processing as well. Her head remained slightly elevated to look into Renton's eyes.

"Eureka." Renton spoke first. His voice had a tired, but happy tone.

"Renton..." Eureka started to blush as she realized her clothing arrangement (or lack of, in this case) was the same as the "dream" last night. "Are we still dreaming?" Her logic had come to the same conclusion as Renton's. He simply nodded.

"Are you okay, Eureka?" She had gone back to resting her head against Renton.

"Mmm." Eureka simply nodded. "I'm happy. I'm happy that this dream could last a little longer this time." Her arms were wrapped around Renton, so she squeezed gently and took a deep breath. Renton felt her breasts press against him distinctly. A sly thought occurred to him.

"Wanna lie against me instead of on me?" Renton tried his best to ask the question as innocently as possible. His voice betrayed a hint of eagerness and his face hadn't quite lost its redness yet.

Eureka lifted her head up to give her usual angry, but cute, glare. Her lips had an embarrassed half-frown.

"I guess not." Renton chuckled. "You can't blame me for trying! It's a dream, after all..." He petted her hair with his hand softly. The couple stayed in silence for another moment.

Slowly, Eureka leaned in with her lips and pressed against Renton's. The kiss was sweet and simple. She relished in the soft feeling and her mind buzzed with excitement. Eureka couldn't have asked for anything more (at this moment); she was captivated in pure bliss.

The two broke away softly. Eureka gave Renton a smile and gripped the blanket. She held it close and with a fluid motion, she turned to lay her back against Renton, without letting him see anything too risky, of course. After getting "comfortable", Eureka looked over her shoulder and up at Renton and gave him a mischievous smile; she was teasing him.

"Hey now, don't go teasing me like that..." Renton frowned. "I'm getting upset now!"

"What are you gonna do about it?" Eureka gave him a playful look.

"Mmm, okay then, you asked for it!" Renton began tickling her.

"Ahh!" She let out a soft, playful cry as she squirmed and resisted Renton's assault. "Not fair, Renton!" She shifted around in an attempt to retaliate. The blanket, unfortunately (or fortunately, for Renton) fell off the bed, briefly exposing Eureka's delicate breasts before she wrapped her arms around her chest in embarrassment. Her face was burning red.

"Eureka..." Renton said calmly. "I told you before, didn't I? You're beautiful, so you don't have to be embarrassed..." He wrapped his arms around from behind Eureka, rested them on her bare stomach and embraced her lovingly. She didn't say anything for a while, but Renton could feel her heart race as she lay against him.

"Renton..." Eureka slowly moved her arms and put her hands on Renton's hands. She was trembling now, but she guided his hands to her breasts. "Be gentle..."

Renton freed one of his hands to turn Eureka's head slightly towards him and kissed her on the lips. As their lips pressed, he rubbed her mounds delicately and massaged them slowly. His hands tingled at how soft her breasts were. Renton savored every sensation he could.

"Ahh..." Eureka moaned quietly as their lips separated. Renton's hands were rough, but not too harsh. His fingers started rubbing her nipples, sending a tremor through her body with each rub. That familiar feeling of heat was growing again. It was like torture to Eureka who immediately wished to quench it. The space between her legs was wet and her "lips" were getting desperate. She brought one of her hands to Renton's and touched it softly.

"Eureka?" Renton wondered at what Eureka wanted now.

She was redder than a strawberry now as she guided his hand under her panties and closer towards her trap. After an eternity, he was there. "_She's so wet..._" He blushed. Renton didn't ask any more questions. He instinctively knew (or at least had an idea of) what to do. He pressed gently against her moist opening and rubbed the area.

"Ohh!" Eureka couldn't help herself. Her moan was much louder this time, so she brought her hands to her mouth the instant she made the sound.

"Hehe... Eureka, it's just a dream. Don't hold back if you don't want to." Eureka nodded sheepishly. As Renton continued, her body arched as an attempt to absorb as much pleasure as possible. She moaned without restraint and breathed hard. Renton decided to press in a bit deeper.

"D-D-Don't!" Eureka cried in pain and pleasure, causing Renton to hesitate. "It... hurts, Renton... Move up higher... No, other way... Ahh! There... Ahh! Keep going... Harder!" Renton tried his best to follow Eureka's desires. He felt a small nub where Eureka had guided him and figured this is where he should stay. He didn't want to hurt Eureka.

Renton continued to rub and Eureka's body instinctively gyrated to his motions. Her moans slowly escalated in intensity. She felt a feeling of massive ecstasy build up, threatening to consume her if it was held in any longer. Eureka struggled desperately to satisfy the desire, but the feeling kept building up. She was about to reach her limit.

"R-Renton... Don't stop... Ahh! Ahh! Keep going. Ohh! Please... Renton..." Eureka felt blissfully tortured by these sensations. They were unlike anything she had felt before. How much longer could she keep going like this? Renton sure as hell didn't know. Eureka's mind couldn't stay coherent anymore; nothing made sense to her anymore. This had to be a dream.

* * *

><p>"Mmm, thanks for let me stay the night… Oh, my head…" Talho rubbed her forehead in an effort to cure her hangover.<p>

"It's what happens when you drink so much…" Diane shook her head in disapproval as she comforted her friend. She paused for a moment, hearing an odd sound in the distance. She shook her head and dismissed it as probably nothing and focused back on her friend.

"I think I'm going to stop drinking now…" Talho gagged for a moment as Diane cautiously picked up a nearby bucket.

"You've said that before… Many, many times…" Diane sighed.

The two coworkers were seated in the Thurston house's kitchen on an early Saturday afternoon. This had become quite the routine for their weekends, almost to the point of becoming ritualistic. The two were practically sisters at this point, though it would be quite interesting to see how Renton would fare in this situation, Diane pondered. Another thought occurred to her at the moment.

"Oh! I have to check up on Eureka!" Diane rubbed Talho's back. "Think you'll be okay without me?"

"Yeah… I think so."

"There's some food in the fridge if you wanna help yourself." She paused, there was that sound, again. It was becoming more frequent. What was she hearing?

"Thanks… by the way… Would it kill Renton to turn down his fucking porn?" Talho rubbed her head again in annoyance. "It's bad enough he's watching that at his age, but for me to have to put up with it is unbearable!"

"Is that what I've been hearing?" Talho simply nodded. "How embarrassing…" Diane stood to go chastise Renton.

"I'll go with you." Talho seemed rejuvenated at the thought of humiliating Renton. "I need a little morning exercise anyway."

"Talho, it's lunchtime..."

"Whatever."

* * *

><p>"Renton! Almost there… Ahh! Ahh! Keep going… Ahh!" Eureka felt her limit approaching.<p>

In his mind, everything seemed so surreal to Renton. This couldn't possibly be happening. He had to be dreaming. Regardless, he was happy in this moment. Happy that he could make Eureka feel so much pleasure in this moment. Of course, even if this weren't real, Renton wondered, is this what he would do when he and Eureka became closer in the real world? At least he was getting some practice.

The situation changed instantaneously. With a deafening "boom", Renton's door to his room burst open; Talho had recovered enough energy to kick down the door with a defiant, smug look on her face. She was ready to embarrass Renton and his porn-watching antics. At that same moment, Eureka let out a loud and drawn out moan; she finally came. Renton's hand was a complete mess now, but, being caught up in the previous situation with Eureka and now having to deal with Talho's sudden appearance, his mind became erratic.

The room was silent for an awkward amount of time. Talho's expression was bewildered. Diane, who had followed Talho from behind, had an inconceivable look on her face. Renton was petrified and his face grew to extreme redness and felt as though it were on fire. Eureka was the slowest to catch on. After her moment of ecstasy, her mind took a moment to register. She, too, turned extremely red after realizing her situation. No one moved. No one said anything. Was this really happening? Finally,

"Renton… Please tell me we're still dreaming…" Eureka spoke first and then instantly pulled the blanket to cover her exposed self. Renton remained silent and petrified.

"Renton. What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing?" Diane was shaking so hard her speech became affected. Talho edged away nervously as Diane slowly walked forward.

"Sis… We're dreaming… Right? Please tell me we're dreaming…" Renton was trembling nervously.

"You're joking, right? You think you're dreaming? Are you stupid?" Diane's voice was escalating. "That's your excuse for all of this? You thought you were dreaming so you… Okay… Wow…" Diane closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.

"Sis…"

"Okay… first off, who is this girl?" Diane calmed down now.

"Eureka… Eureka Novak." Renton said quietly.

"As in our NEIGHBOR?" Renton nodded nervously. There went her calmness. "Oh just great… Just fu-" Diane turned away and massaged her forehead.

"Sis…" Renton maneuvered around Eureka gently and got out of the bed.

"Don't…" Diane said threateningly.

"Ms. Thurston…" A soft, timid voice interceded. "I'm so sorry…" Eureka hugged the blanket closely and curled up as she sat. Diane looked at her. "I really didn't mean to… I'm sorry…" She got out of bed too, but kept herself covered. "I'll get going now…"

"Eureka..." Diane's voice was calm. "Would you like to join us for breakfast?"

"I thought it was lunchtime..." Talho interrupted and stopped as Diane shot her a murderous glare.

"Umm... Is it really okay?" Eureka responded timidly.

"Don't worry about it." Diane smiled at the cute girl. "I'm supposed to keep an eye on you anyway and what's done is done. No point in lingering on it... Put some clothes on and get ready for breakfast." She started walking towards the kitchen.

"Renton." Diane stopped for a moment.

"Yes?" Renton jumped.

"Make sure you wash your hand... thoroughly." Diane and Talho left the couple as they were: redder than strawberries.

* * *

><p>"So, Eureka, you're a freshman too?" Talho had a habit of talking while chewing.<p>

"Yes..." Eureka answered timidly.

"How did you and Renton meet?" Talho gave a mischievous smile as Eureka stumbled and stuttered.

"Talho, leave them alone." Diane kept her eyes closed as she sipped her coffee.

"It's so awkward with no one talking, Diane!" Talho frowned. "I have to lighten the mood somehow."

The four of them sat in the dining room next to the kitchen. Diane had quickly prepared breakfast for everyone in the time it took for Eureka and Renton to get ready. The couple were dressed as they were before, with the added exception that Renton had put on a shirt. Talho and Diane were seated across the table from Renton and Eureka, as though it were an interview. The young teens had a light, pink blush on their faces as they ate; unable to even look at each other. The room went silent for another awkward moment.

"Ugh, it can't get worse than this..." Talho finished eating. "So, Eureka, was that your first time getting fingered by a boy?" Instantly, everyone choked on whatever he or she was drinking or eating.

"Yes..." Eureka answered quietly after recovering. Her face grew redder by the moment.

"Wow, Renton, I never knew you had it in you to get with a girl this cute!" Talho turned her attention to the young male.

"Talho... Please stop..." Renton's voice had a tone of embarrassment.

"So, let me get this straight..." Talho crossed her arms. "Eureka sleepwalks over to the house next door into Renton's open window and then cuddles into his bed. The two of you do NOTHING until this morning. And the whole time, you BOTH thought you were dreaming?" The couple simply nodded with their eyes fixed on their plates. "You two are something else..."

"Well, at least you two are still virgins... sorta..." Diane frowned.

"Of course they're still virgins! Renton didn't stick his junk inside Eureka!" Renton blushed harder as Eureka had a puzzled expression on her face.

"You two really wasted no time though... Already after six days of meeting each other, you've slept together and Renton's... "studied" you..." Diane sighed. "So, do you two like each other?" Renton and Eureka blinked and then looked at each other for the first time in a long time. They stayed silent for a moment and looked away. "Wow... you two have a lot to talk about."

"Now I have something new I can tease Renton about!" Talho said happily. She then became serious. "Make sure you two are careful, though. Teenage pregnancy is no laughing matter and STDs are definitely something to watch out for." The couple blinked.

"I don't think they've learned any of this at school yet..." Diane explained.

"Oh... Anyways, be careful you two." Talho stood up.

"Renton, Talho and I are going to drop by the office real fast to pick up some stuff." Diane paused and looked at the two of them. "Umm... We'll leave you two alone for now... But don't do anything stupid! Okay?" Renton and Eureka nodded. And then, they were alone.

* * *

><p>The room was so quiet now. One could have sworn that the couple's heartbeats could be heard in this moment. They found themselves in an awfully familiar situation. Neither knew what to say. Neither knew what to do. The tension weighed heavily on both of them as they wondered what to do now. The dream wasn't a dream and now the two of them had to face a scenario neither would have ever been prepared for. It was much too soon. Neither one of them was ready for this (especially not ready for the incident earlier that day).<p>

"Eureka... I'm sorry."

"No... I'm sorry. I should have known better."

"It's not your fault... I didn't think what was happening was really happening..."

"Me too..." Silence, again.

After another moment, Renton stood up to be closer to Eureka. He stood still and wondered what to say next. Without a word, Eureka stood up too and met her eyes with his. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Renton finally stepped forward and embraced Eureka. He held her close and he held her tightly. Regardless of everything that had happened and how unprepared they were, he didn't want to lose her. Now, he had to embrace the fear of rejection and hope that Eureka will truly accept him. This wasn't a dream, but remembering those dreams and the happiness he felt in those dreams gave him the courage to step forward and trust his heart with Eureka. His heart pounded hard and fast. What was her answer?

Eureka quivered in place as she stayed in Renton's warm embrace. Her arms hung loosely at her side, indecisive of what to do. She had become so used to those dreams that now, in reality, everything had become so surreal. Was this really happening? What should she do? Her head was spinning and her body was trembling. Was she ready to trust herself to Renton? Could she truly be honest with him and tell him her deepest feelings for him? The fear of rejection weighed heavy on Eureka's heart. Despite everything they had done, she trembled with uncertainty. The doubtful voices were back in her head, but a part of her heart argued earnestly against them. Renton cares for her. Renton needs her. Renton loves her. What is "love"? Is it this feeling of tightness in her chest?

"Renton..." Her arms slowly moved upward to embrace Renton and caress his back. "I... I don't know what to do..."

"There's nothing you have to do, Eureka..." Renton whispered reassuringly. "What do you want, Eureka?"

"I... I want you..." She blushed heavily as her chest tightened further. "I really like you... I really need you... I don't know what I would do without you. But I'm scared..."

"Scared of what?"

"I've never been like this... with anyone. I've never felt this way about anyone before. And it scares me... I don't know if I can handle it."

"I'll always be there for you, like this. I'll protect you from everything that you fear and I promise I'll do my best to make you happy, Eureka. I..." Renton hesitated at that moment. He couldn't bring himself to say those words.

"Renton..." Eureka breathed deeply. "I'm... not ready... I'm not ready for any of this... Everything's happening so fast and I'm so confused right now..."

"Eureka..." Renton felt his chest tighten and his skin go cold.

"I think... We should spend some time apart... just for a little bit. Until I figure things out..." Eureka could barely whisper the words without her voice cracking. She felt as though she would cry at that moment. Silence settled over the young couple again.

"I understand." Renton answered back. He held onto her tightly as he realized that this could be the last time he ever held Eureka like this.

They stood there, swaying slightly in place. Renton refused to let go and Eureka feared that she might not be able to handle breaking away from him. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to take back her words and stay with Renton forever. She wanted to stay in his embrace for as long as possible. But Eureka knew deep inside that this would have to end, for a little while. She wasn't ready and she had to know figure things out with absolute certainty before plunging ahead into something she's never experienced before. Slowly, but surely, she drew enough courage to bring her hand to his head and stroke his hair softly and affectionately; it was time to let go.

After the two had broken apart, Eureka walked slowly towards the front door with Renton close by. Having reached the exit, Eureka paused for a slight moment. Without looking back she opened the door and walked out. The door closed mercilessly behind her. Renton walked up to it and put his hand to its surface. All strength left him at that moment as he fell to his knees. He was unable to stop the tears that poured through his eyes.

The dream was over...

For now.


	7. Liars and Lovers

**Lucid Dreams**

Rant: Wthell is with MS word's obsession with Calibri font and size 11... Could have picked a much better default!

Too many distractions in Korea =_=

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 7: Liars and Lovers<strong>

_The previous four (brief) entries have been crossed out to be unreadable. Tear drops, pencil slashes, and tears in the paper of the journal further contribute to its illegibility._

Renton Entry #10:

School was the same as usual. Almost to the point where I can't even remember if I had gone at all today. Nothing sticks in my memory anymore… but it doesn't matter. I think I've run out of tears by now, or at least I'm hoping that I've no more tears to cry. Eureka changed her schedule completely with the office at school. We only have biology together and even then we sit as far as physically possible from each other at the same desk. I wonder if Holland knows what happened… No, I doubt he would… He'd have murdered me by now for touching Eureka like that…

In a sense, I guess I got what I deserved. I was too impatient, too greedy… Of course Eureka wouldn't be ready for any of that. She just moved here and even then she's still so unaware of so many things. I'm such an idiot. Gidget and Moondoggie never seem to mention her after that weekend… I'm glad for that. But I wish someone would tell me what to do. But then again, what can I do? I have to keep my distance from Eureka… I've caused her enough stress as it is.

The worst part about all this? I don't even dream of her at night anymore… Even when I dream, I dream of nothing but of a white, empty world. I'm alone… No one's around… I want Eureka so badly… I need Eureka so badly. But she doesn't want me, or need me. I barely catch her smell these days. Sometimes I wake up and my window is open… The wind blows in and I catch something sweet… and then I start crying. When I sit next to her in the morning that same smell taunts me… I don't know how much longer I can last. I feel like I'll break down just being near her…

Gramps and Diane have been bugging me a lot, lately. They keep asking me what's wrong... but I could never tell them. There's no need for them to know. It felt kinda nice having them both yell at me for being so inconsiderate. It distracts me. I'm sure they'll keep bugging me for a while, and, maybe, I'll tell them one day. But if I do it now, I'll just end up crying and breaking down. That's the same reason I could never talk to Gidget or Moondoggie about Eureka...

Am I depressed? Maybe I am. Am I being a stupid, typical teenager? Maybe I am. All I know for sure is that it hurts... so much. I know if I could just hold her again, this pain will go away. Everything would be okay then. Everything would go back to normal. I could be happy again. But there's no way I could do any of that. She's the one who said no... She's the one who said we should spend time away from each other... It's all because of her...

I don't hate her… but all this pain she's caused me… I don't know what to do with all of it. No one can tell me what to do… Will I ever get to talk to her? Will I ever get to hold her again? I want to be upset with her… to hate her… to hurt her as much as she's hurt me… but I can't… Why do I get this feeling that I don't regret falling in love with her?

I want to at least see her in my dreams. If I can't hold her in reality, I want to at least be happy when I sleep. Can I at least be given that? I want Eureka… I need Eureka…

* * *

><p><span>Eureka Entry #6:<span>

It's Saturday night. The date last night went well. Today… No… I'm sorry, Diary, but I don't want to talk about it. Don't worry, Diary. Everything's okay. It doesn't hurt…

Eureka Entry #7:

I just finished all my homework. Not much else to do. Not much else really happened. Everything's fine though, Diary. Don't worry about me… I'm perfectly fine. It doesn't hurt…

Eureka Entry #8:

I had the front office change my schedule so my classes are all differently timed now. I still have bio first thing in the morning though… And I'm still seated next to… No, I don't want to talk about it. School is very lonely for me these days… But I'm fine. It doesn't hurt...

Eureka Entry #9:

It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt…

Eureka Entry #10:

Diary,

I need help. I need this pain to stop. I lied. It hurts. It hurts me so much to be away from Renton… to never talk to him… to never be in his arms… I miss him. I want him. I need him… These days I don't even want to wake up. I've never felt so lonely before. Why do I feel this way? I've never felt this way before in my life. And it hurts, so much. I want it to stop. Make it stop... How do I stop the pain? What do I do? What can I do?

Nothing makes sense to me anymore. These days I don't even want to get out of bed. I don't even want to wake up. But not even sleeping helps the loneliness… it's so empty and lonely in my dreams now. Why? Is it because I told Renton that we should stay apart? Why did I say that? What was I thinking? I'm such an idiot...

Those times that we're next to each other, I want to just talk to him... to just touch him... but that'd be selfish of me. I ended it... I have no right to run back to him... I don't deserve him... he deserves better. But to just imagine the idea of Renton being with someone else... I think I'd cry... I want to be with him again. But I can't. Maybe this is what I deserve... to be lonely, forever. It's why he won't look at me. I deserve it. But I hate it. I want to change it.

If I could have one wish, it would be to talk to Renton again… To take back those words I said and to just be with him forever. I was too scared to do that… too stupid to just accept him… What was I afraid of? I hate myself.

I can barely write anymore. My mind can barely think of words to say. Is it fatigue? Is it pain? I'm not sure, but maybe sleep will help me feel better... I get the feeling that it won't... Please, let me dream of Renton tonight. Just a dream… Let me be in his embrace and be happy again, like I used to be. Let me feel warm again… Let me be free of this loneliness…

Goodnight, Diary.

* * *

><p>They were quite well acquainted with this scene now; a white, empty world. Their dreams for the past few days (if they had dreamt at all) had this setting. Renton and Eureka sat back to back and stared out into the vastness. It was so lonely, so cold. Neither was quite aware of each other at that moment, much like their first dream. Both were too caught up in their loneliness and angst to notice the other. Perhaps it had always been like this; the two believed that they were alone in this world the past few dreams, but were in fact simply facing away from each other at those times. Regardless, things were different now.<p>

"_I want to see Eureka._"

"_I want to see Renton._"

The couple stood up and turned towards each other. There was no denying that they were aware of each other now. This was it. They had wished for this; to see each other and to be able to at least be happy in their dreams. But they stood still. Words failed them both and neither could think of how to end this silence. It was taking too long. Someone needed to act. Someone needed to take the first step. But who would do it?

"_I've hurt him too much… That's why he never looks at me anymore… It'd be selfish of me to start…_"

"_I've hurt her too much… that's why she said we should stay apart… It'd be selfish of me to start…_"

It was a standstill. No one was going to say anything. Too much time was passing them by. Too much time was being wasted. Eureka opened her mouth to speak. Words failed her as her voice died before it escaped her lips. At that moment, a thick, glass wall materialized and separated the couple. Sky-Fish fluttered around impatiently at Eureka's side. Things were different. Sky-Fish was black now. And odd, cruel aura hung around it as it spoke to Eureka.

"So you got your wish, and you're not going to do anything, Eureka?" It fluttered around Eureka's head and rustled her hair.

"I don't know what to do… I don't know if I'm allowed to do anything…" Eureka closed her eyes and fell to her knees. Her hand was pressed against the wall as Renton mirrored her hand with his, attempting to comfort her. She couldn't hear anything he said and he couldn't hear anything she said. Eureka wasn't even aware of Renton at that moment.

"You just couldn't handle the way things were going, could you? Everything was going perfectly, wasn't it?"

"It was going too fast… I was scared. I still am."

"And why are you scared?" Renton was pounding on the glass wall from the other side now. He hopelessly tried to tear it down and reach Eureka. She still wasn't looking at him; she remained woefully ignorant of anything beyond her space.

"I've never felt this lonely before in my life. I've never felt this much pain before… I don't know how to make it stop!" Eureka cried.

"What do you feel when you think of Renton?" Eureka looked up, her tears momentarily stopped.

"I… I'm not sure… I feel warm and happy… I feel safe when I'm with him. I feel like everything's right when I'm with him. I feel like nothing can go wrong when I'm with him." Eureka bit her finger softly. She still wasn't looking through the glass at Renton, despite how he tried his hardest to get her attention.

"So you loved him?" Sky-Fish spoke simply as Eureka simply nodded. She thought she understood love at this point. "And yet, because you loved him, you find yourself in a painful situation that you wish would end. That love is why you feel so much more pain now then you ever have before. Without it, what could hurt you?"

"I…" Eureka trembled and started crying again. She hid her face in her hands as her heart slowly crumbled and broke apart. Renton was yelling frantically as he persisted in breaking down the barrier. Cracks were forming slightly now. Just a little longer and Renton could...

"It is because of Renton that you are worse off than you ever have been before. It is because of Renton you feel such an emptiness threatening to consume you!" Eureka was shaking harder now. "Given the choice you made that resulted in so much pain, would you do it all over again?"

"I… I don't think I have it in me to love again…" The wall finally shattered. Eureka kept her face buried in her hands as the tears slowly dried up.

Renton walked towards Eureka and fell to his knees in front of her. For a moment, he didn't speak nor move. Why was he hesitating?

"Eureka…" She didn't answer immediately. "I…" His hands slowly moved towards her. She seemed so delicate, so fragile.

"Renton, don't touch me." Eureka felt Renton's hands reaching for her shoulders before they touched her. "Don't come any closer." He stopped short and pulled his hands back.

"Eureka, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

"Eureka… that's a lie." Eureka stiffened. She refused to look Renton in the eye as they knelt together. "Please just tell me what's wrong. I... I've wanted to talk to you… I've wanted to just be able to be like this with you."

"Why?"

"Please... just tell me what's wrong. What was that thing saying to you?" He glared at Sky-Fish who was fluttering away at a distance.

"It doesn't matter..."

"Eureka..."

"Why do you care?" Eureka's question had a harsh, yet soft tone, despite the sound being slightly muffled by her hands.

"Because…" Renton paused. He recalled that moment he couldn't tell her those words. "I could never say this when we weren't dreaming… and I'm sorry. I still can't tell you… because we're still dreaming… I'll say it again, Eureka…" He gulped. "I love you." Silence enveloped the two.

The conversation with Sky-Fish echoed in Eureka's mind. She wanted the pain to end. She wanted to never feel this way ever again. Why couldn't Renton understand that? Was this a test? It was, after all, a dream. If she could get through this, maybe the pain will end. She had to get through this. It was just a dream, but it was the first step to recovery. Eureka would be able to move on after this, she thought. She summoned her courage and finally spoke.

"I… I don't love you, Renton." Eureka lowered her hands from her face, but still wouldn't look him in the eyes. Renton felt himself go cold at that moment. He trembled as a familiar pain returned to his chest. It had returned with much more intensity this time, however.

"Eureka…" His hand reached for her again, trembling.

"I don't love you, Renton." She said it again with her voice slightly shaking.

"Eureka, look at me! Please!" Renton pleaded. He grabbed her chin harshly and lifted her face to lock eyes with her.

"I don't love you, Renton!" Eureka yelled defiantly as she glared into his eyes. She held firm as long as she could, feeling that she would crack at any given moment.

Renton's hand fell from her chin as he slumped. His eyes broke away from Eureka's just before they lost their composure and started watering. Eureka started to tremble, but Renton's gaze was at the ground, away from her. It was impossible for her to know what Renton was thinking at that moment. She didn't want to imagine it. She couldn't afford to be weak now. She had made up her mind to never be hurt so badly again. She couldn't love anymore. She didn't love anymore.

Eureka stood and slowly walked away, leaving Renton behind on the ground, silent and motionless; he was utterly broken. The world went black at that moment. Neither one of them could see each other now. Eureka took advantage of the moment and collapsed. She curled up as she erupted into tears and clutched at her chest desperately. Her cries of pain would never reach Renton. They could never reach him. Not now, not ever.

Renton finally burst into tears. The pain had become unbearable for him. He wished for it to all end. He wished for the ability to not feel anymore. He wished to die at that moment. Feeling the utter sense of worthlessness and helplessness grip him and hold him hostage, he despaired and anguished over his broken heart. He cried for all of it end. He cried for someone to rescue him. He cried for an angel; one who could caress him and take his pain away.

But his angel didn't love him anymore.


	8. Insomnia

**Lucid Dreams**

Sorry for the missed chapter last week~! To make up for it, I present a double release for this week!

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 8: Insomnia<strong>

Eureka Entry #11:

Good morning, Diary,

Sorry I haven't written in so long… I just haven't really been able to figure out the words to say. I decided I would try to write again this morning before I headed off to school.

I've made up my mind about Renton. There's just too much pain and confusion… It would have been better if I hadn't gone through any of it at all. And that means it would be better to just not love Renton at all… I know it seems harsh, and I don't like it either, but it has to be done. It's better for both of us. But, I don't know if I could tell Renton all this face to face. Thankfully, there hasn't been a situation where that had to be done.

It feels like I'm just going through the motions with school. I don't talk to anyone, unless the teacher calls on me during lecture. I don't even talk with Holland that much anymore… My own brother… It's strange. I've been like this my whole life, and now it bothers me to be alone. Well, maybe it bothered me before, but I never dwelled on it like I do now… now that I've met Renton…

I catch this one boy staring at me quite often, though. It troubles me… I'm not sure why. He looks away really fast when I look back at him. Even when I look away, I still feel like he's watching me. I'm receiving strange notes these days too. They aren't as mean as the ones that came before, but they're just as disturbing. It can't be the same people (who sent them before), so I'm a bit curious.

* * *

><p>Eureka paused as she yawned wide and rubbed her eyes hard. Her eyes were red and droopy and her free arm hung lifelessly by her side as she sat.<p>

* * *

><p>Diary… I can't sleep… I lie in bed for hours with my eyes closed, but I can't go to sleep. I've been getting maybe 1 or 2 hours each night ever since Renton and I stopped talking. I'm so tired and I want to just fall asleep, but my body won't let me. I don't know why. At school I end up accidently napping in class… I've gotten 3 detentions so far because of that… I thought that maybe if I write again, I could feel better and fall asleep.<p>

One time... I fell asleep on Renton's shoulder. I really didn't mean to! But I couldn't help it... It was so nice and warm. I felt so comfortable, like I belonged there. I wish I could have stayed like that forever. It's hard to tell what Renton was thinking about that. I don't think he was uncomfortable with it. Maybe he liked it... I don't know if I'll ever know, but if I think about stuff like that, I feel like my chest might burst... No... it's best to just not think of Renton at all. It's hard but I've been getting better at distracting myself...

Oh, it's time for school.

Bye, Diary.

* * *

><p>Eureka snapped her eyes open and stood straight up suddenly and abruptly with an exclamation of "Ah!" as if she had an epiphany. The class was silent for a good moment before soft chuckles and snickering could be heard among the students. Eureka slowly sat back down sheepishly with a look of embarrassment on her face. The teacher eyed her strangely and then shook his head.<p>

"Well, Ms. Novak, I understand that history class can be quite 'exciting', but please control yourself from sudden outbursts such as that." The class laughed.

"_I fell asleep… again_." Eureka kept her eyes down on her notes. Her eyes started drooping. "_I'm so tired…_"

Her sleepiness, however, didn't drown out the constant whispering conversations that her classmates were having. Eureka could tell they were talking about her. She could tell, without looking, that they pointed and laughed at her. She was the weird one. The one with no friends and the one who did odd things. There must be something wrong with her brain. Should she even be at public school with normal people? Eureka fought desperately to stand up again and scream at the students to shut up.

The bell rang abruptly; Eureka could have sworn there was at least another twenty minutes before the period ended. She wasn't going to complain though. She wasn't sure how much more of that madness she could take. The sounds of moving chairs grated hard on her nerves as Eureka looked up and blinked.

Now, it was lunchtime. She looked around her surroundings as though she were lost and found herself sitting alone, as usual. What happened the two periods before Lunch? Eureka wondered. Eating and chewing slowly from a bag of chips, she blinked again.

She was in front of her locker now. A note was found inside of it. Eureka sighed as she opened it. Another one? What was the point? She wondered as she read. They were just depressing and disturbing to read.

**"_YOU SHOULD BE MINE AND MINE ALONE I WOULD FUCK YOU SO HARD AND HURT YOU SO BAD BE ALONE WITH ME I WILL TIE YOU UP AND CUT YOUR BODY WHILE I VIOLATE YOU I WON'T STOP NEVER STOP AND I WOULD MAKE YOU MY DOLL! BE MINE BE MINE BE MINE BE MINE-_"**

Eureka stopped reading, let out another sigh with her eyes closed, and crumpled up the note before throwing it in the nearest trash can. Why couldn't they just leave her alone? It was bad enough that she had no one to talk to anymore and that she couldn't sleep at night, but now this? She took a deep breath and moved her lips as she opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry... but I have to say no." Eureka was talking to that strange boy who kept staring at her in class. "I'm not feeling very well these days and I don't think it'd be fair for you to go on a date with me... I wouldn't be much fun."

"That's fine! Just go out with me, please!" The boy was quite frantic and Eureka felt sorry for him, but she knew it was for the better.

"I'm sorry..." She turned around and blinked.

Eureka was seated in class again. The teacher's words simply droned on incomprehensibly; an effect of the afternoon heat and broken air conditioning. From her perspective, she could see every student's head facing the clock, eager for the final period of the day to end. How was it already almost 3:00? Another blink.

Five minutes had passed since school had ended. Eureka was still seated in her seat with a blank look on her face. The home economics teacher, Ms. Hilda, gave Eureka a strange look as she packed her belongings.

"Eureka, you okay?" Hilda wasn't quite sure why, but she felt a bit fond of the young girl. Perhaps "fond" is too strong of a word. A sense of worry filled her every time she looked at Eureka, ever since the first time she saw her after her schedule change. "School's done and it's a Friday. I'm surprised you're still here considering how everyone else made a mad dash for the door as soon as the bell rang." Hilda gave a half-frown remembering how bored and uninterested her students seemed at today's lesson.

"Yeah… I'm fine." Eureka said sleepily as she stood and clumsily stumbled around for her bag. After composing herself, she walked up to the teacher's desk and paused.

Without warning Eureka burst into tears as she fell on her knees. She buried her face in her hands and shook uncontrollably as Hilda, bewildered as she was, quickly knelt down in front of her. Words failed her as she tried to figure out what to do. "_They sure as hell don't train me for things like this..._" Eureka attempted some form of communication while Hilda thought.

"N-N-No… I'm not fine. I'm really, really, really not fine." Eureka brought one of her hands down to her chest and squeezed.

"Eureka… what's wrong?" Hilda thought that would be a good start; understand the situation.

"I… I don't know. I wanted to… but I didn't want to… I was so scared, a-a-and happy. I made the right choice though, right? I-I-It's better this way…" None of this was making any sense to Hilda. She hugged Eureka around the shoulders and had Eureka's eyes cry into Hilda's clothes.

"Eureka, I'm really not sure what to say… but hang in there and everything will be okay." Hilda mentally slapped herself at how stupid those words sounded. "It's a Friday. Go out and have some fun with some friends!" Eureka shook her head as Hilda again scolded herself for forgetting that Eureka never seemed to have any friends to talk to. "Err... Maybe you should get some rest. The week is over so go take a nice long shower and get some sleep. It usually helps me out when I'm feeling really stressed!" Now there's some decent advice.

"T-T-Thank you, Ms. Hilda… but I can't sleep these days. I haven't been able to sleep well for so long."

"You haven't been sleeping at all?" Hilda's eyes widened.

"Very little…" Eureka continued to cry into Hilda's shoulder.

"Eureka, what's wrong?" Maybe the young girl could string a comprehendible sentence this time. Eureka didn't answer for a while. Time had passed and she began to calm down and gave a few sniffs. Eureka wiped her eyes before speaking again.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Hilda… I don't know what came over me…" Eureka was trembling slightly. "I think I'll be okay now…" Hilda shook her head.

"Eureka, if there's something bothering you, just tell me. It'll help you feel better."

"I… I can't… I don't want to talk about it right now." Eureka threatened to burst into tears again. Hilda sighed and shook her head reluctantly.

"Okay then. If you ever do want to talk about it, you can talk to me, okay?" Eureka nodded. Hilda patted the blue-haired teen on the head. "Go home and follow my advice, okay? Get some sleep." Eureka simply nodded. "And if you can't sleep, go make yourself some cookies like I taught today! You were paying attention, right?" Hilda gave a playful glare.

"Yes." Eureka gave a weak smile. Better than nothing.

* * *

><p>Spending a Friday night alone at home can be quite depressing for your average teenager. Given Eureka's current condition, one would be surprised at how mellow she seemed as she sat on the living room couch with her eyes fixed on the TV. Eureka was flipping through channels every five seconds. She was on her tenth "circuit". Perhaps she was simply masking her depression with peacefulness and was extremely miserable on the inside; she was getting better at keeping her emotions to herself. 10:00 pm and Eureka, despite her persistent insomnia, was unable to sleep.<p>

Eureka took a thirty minute shower and drained the home of all its hot water (Holland had scolded her for that) as soon as she came home from school before attempting to fall into an afternoon nap. She spent a good three hours lying in bed before she ate dinner with Holland. She took another shot at sleeping as soon as Holland left for the night to drink with some friends. No dice. Eureka decided to take Hilda's solution one step further and went for a hot bath. Maybe she could fall asleep in the tub. The water went cold before she could achieve that. Now she was sitting on the couch waiting for the cookies to finish in the oven.

The cookies or, specifically, the chocolate was, surprisingly, helpful at cheering up Eureka's mood, thanks to the endorphins (mood-lifting chemicals also present during a female orgasm). Obviously, it was hard to forget how lonely and sad Eureka felt these days, but it was a nice change and surprise that she was feeling better. She stopped changing the channel and decided to stick with an old "chick flick" that she had never seen before.

It was awfully intriguing, despite the fact that she knew it wasn't real. Eureka found herself emotionally invested in the characters on the screen. It helped her tune out the world and forget about her own feelings at that moment. She found herself irritated every time a commercial break would come on and made a mental note that she would go out and buy the actual movies instead of watching them on local channels. By the end of the film, Eureka had finished her cookies and felt oddly warm and happy at the ending (her blanket and pillow helped too).

"_Oh... it's late._" She eyed the clock in the kitchen and saw that midnight was approaching. Sleepily, her legs carried her back to her bed where she collapsed and snuggled deep into her pillow.

"_Eureka... please just go to sleep._" She pleaded with herself.

It was no use. No matter what she did, she couldn't get herself to sleep. Why was it so hard? Was it because of Renton? Thinking about him made her heart ache again. She tightened her hold on the pillow.

"Renton..." Eureka whispered his name softly and desperately. The sensation in her chest threatened to overwhelm her again as trace amounts of tears began to leak. "Renton..." She said his name again as she readjusted to lie on her back with the pillow on top of her.

Eureka let herself think of Renton at that moment. She closed her eyes and thought of his hair and his smell. She thought of his lips and how they pressed against hers. Her mouth began to quiver with longing. She thought of his hands and how strong and firm they were. "_His hands..._" A familiar sense of heat had returned to her private. The embarrassing scene replayed in her head, but with it also came a lust for that same sensation.

Without thinking, Eureka's hand crept its way towards her trap. For a moment, the sensation helped alleviate the lust, but then it returned in full swing, demanding and craving more. Her body was quite selfish. She kept playing with herself, testing the various sensations and letting her mind forget pain and sadness for a while. It was addicting. Eureka instinctively continued on, wondering how much longer she could keep this up. It didn't feel quite as good as when Renton had done it, but it was good enough. She felt the pressure build up. Almost there.

Eureka's breathing had gotten heavier and her heart pounded faster. She felt the blood rush and press against her cheeks and wondered how red she must be now. Her finger was moving erratically as opposed to the regular rhythm she started with. With her free arm, she held the pillow tightly. Why was this taking so long? She thought impatiently. Her mind began to think of Renton. Slowly, with her eyes, closed, she visualized him and began to let off a moan. She gave herself to this imaginary Renton. It helped.

Finally, Eureka was done. She moaned Renton's name as her body tensed up. The ecstasy made her mind go blank for a moment before she slowly drifted down into reality. Her breathing had slowed, but it was still extremely heavy. And she was so wet. She blushed at the mess she had made (though it wasn't quite as bad as it seemed). Eureka hugged her pillow again and whispered "Renton" again. Feeling extremely overheated and uncomfortable, she stripped off her clothes and laid on top of her blanket nude. The night breeze that flew in through the open window felt nice against her skin.

After some time, Eureka started feeling chilly and wrapped the blanket around her figure. She still held the pillow close as she felt sleep finally coming to her. She felt content in that moment and inhaled deeply.

"Renton..." Eureka whispered his name softly before she lost consciousness. Her last thoughts were of him.

* * *

><p>Next door, a stone throw away from Eureka's home, Renton woke up with a sneeze. He muttered a string of curses before tucking his face deep into his pillow as he hugged it tightly and mumbled "Eureka".<p> 


	9. Saturday Blues

**Lucid Dreams**

To my fellow fanfic writers: one method of curing writer's block is to sit in a subway station (not during rush hour, of course). This helped me immensely when writing this chapter =D

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 9: Saturday Blues<strong>

Saturday mornings always seemed to have a pleasant, alleviating feeling. Obviously, the prospect of not having to go to work or school was also a contributing factor to that feeling. Then again, what was one doing awake on a Saturday morning? Why not sleep in until the lazy heat of the afternoon settled into the room? Renton thought these questions, though not in those exact words (he took the liberty of cursing inappropriately). He sat up sleepily with a terrible case of bed head and looked around his room. Renton sleepily, but angrily, searched for the source of his disturbance.

He eyed the cell phone on his desk and noticed it was vibrating furiously. Mumbling another set of curses he got up and trudged towards the annoying device.

"Hello?" His throat was raspy.

"Hey Renton, what'cha up to?" It was Moondoggie. How could he be so energetic at this time of day?

"You just woke me up." Renton didn't bother hiding his annoyance from his voice. "What do you want?"

"Jeez, no need to be angry man. You busy today?"

"No, not really..." Renton felt an odd sense of dread after saying those words. Would he regret them?

"Good! You're coming along with me and Gidget today!" Renton groaned. "We'll be in front of your place at noon. Don't eat lunch!" The line went dead.

Renton trudged back to his bed, cell phone still in hand, and collapsed back on his pillow. Why had he said that? He wished he could spend the whole day in bed, thinking of nothing but Eureka. He couldn't take his mind off of her. He hugged his pillow with his eyes closed and started picturing her in his mind. How could one miss a person so much? The feelings of loneliness and want echoed through his body to a point where he didn't want to move at all. And then,

"Renton! You didn't pick up the mail from yesterday! Go get it!" Diane was yelling from the kitchen.

"Ahh, Diane, not so loud!" Renton heard Talho mumble from a distance.

"Renton, go pick up today's paper while you're out there!" Grandpa added to Talho's misery by yelling another set of commands. Renton didn't move right away. He tried to ignore those voices and simply go back to sleep.

"NOW!" The combined shout from both Gramps and Diane knocked Renton out of his stupor.

* * *

><p>The morning breeze felt nice against Renton's face. It gave him a little more energy as he walked with a little more vigor in his step towards the mailbox and the newspaper lying next to it. He inhaled deeply and caught a familiar scent. His body reacted as his mind processed it. Why was this smell so familiar? He looked towards his left, where the wind had blown from. His eyes met the sight of Eureka.<p>

She was dressed as she usually dressed for bed, with the added exception of some shorts, fortunately. Renton usually slept in his boxers as well, but he too, conveniently, put on some pants before heading outside, despite having wondered if there was a point at all. It seemed Holland had tasked Eureka with picking up the newspaper as well. She held it tightly in her right hand, creating more folds in the paper.

The two stared blankly at each other for a while. Neither one could really believe that this was happening. Was this real? Was it another dream? What should one do? The thought processes of the two teens struggled to compete with the morning drowsiness. Suddenly, the breeze blew again and it unsettled the situation. Immediately Eureka stuck her left hand deep and furiously into her pocket, desperately trying to hide it, for some reason. Her face went bright red and her eyes downcast, determined to not look at Renton. She swayed in place for a moment before making a mad dash back to her door.

"_How weird…_" Renton thought to himself as he shook his head. He wasn't quite sure if he understood what had just happened or if it really had happened at all.

Slowly, Renton turned around and headed back inside.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes past noon and Renton found himself sitting at a small, outdoor restaurant with Gidget and Moondoggie seated in front of him. An awkward silence settled upon all of them and the couple desperately tried to figure something to say to break the mood. Renton didn't care. He continued to chew on his food.<p>

"Hey, Renton, what do you think about that girl?" Gidget whispered to Renton and pointed at a short-haired brunette seated with several friends a few tables away.

"What do you mean?" Renton looked at the direction Gidget pointed at. The girl in question noticed and looked at Renton. She smiled at him and flirted with her eyes. He looked away as though uninterested. "She's cute, I guess. What do you want me to do?" The girl's smile turned into a frown as she looked away looking a bit hurt.

"You should go talk to her!" Gidget insisted. "Ask her name and try to get her number!"

"What good will that do? What would I do after knowing her name and getting her number?" Renton went back to his food.

Gidget and Moondoggie gave a sigh before they continued to chatter on mindlessly about random topics. None of it was interesting to Renton. He wondered why he was even here. His thoughts were interrupted as one of the friends of that girl Gidget had pointed out came up to him.

"Yes?" Renton looked up confused at the girl. He noticed that the short-haired brunette had followed behind and stood a short distance behind with a blush on her face.

"My friend, Sara, thinks you're cute." She said simply.

"That's nice of her…" Renton responded plainly.

"Don't you wanna go out with her?" Her tone and pitch was slowly elevating towards outrage.

"Well, sorry, but no. I'm really not interested in getting into a relationship right now." Renton sounded as polite as he could. He did feel sorry for Sara. Her eyes fell to the ground as he spoke those words.

"Are you retarded? She's cute! Why wouldn't you want to go out with her?" The friend was outraged now.

"Hey… just let it go. Sorry for bothering you." Sara had finally spoken. She turned and went back to her table as her friend reluctantly followed.

The group of girls left a short time after that. Moondoggie shook his head as he spoke to Renton.

"Really, Renton, maybe you should have at least been nice to her and talked with her for a bit. Who knows, maybe she could have been the one."

"There's no point. I know she's not the one for me. And it would be cruel to give false hope to her. It wouldn't be fair." Moondoggie slumped in defeat.

The lazy afternoon warmth crept in as they ate.

* * *

><p>The day went on, as awkward as it was. The couple dragged and insisted on Renton coming along everywhere they went, despite his protests. He didn't need to look at shoes or clothes. He didn't need to look at books or accessories. None of it mattered to him. He didn't begrudge his friends for taking him with them. He was honestly thankful, but he wasn't in the right mood. None of it took his mind off of Eureka. Frankly speaking, he didn't want to take his mind off of Eureka.<p>

Renton couldn't help but think of Eureka every time an excuse came up. The blue sky, the blue birds, the blue clothes, the blue shoes; they all reminded him of what he could never have. Renton paused these thoughts for a moment after watching a young boy walk by with earphones. The boy was so cut off from the world, ignoring everything that passed by. Was that how Renton looked when he walked on aimlessly thinking of the girl of his affections? He shrugged the thought and moved on.

Moondoggie and Renton sat on a bench a distance away from Gidget's favorite shop. The two were too tired to go on and demanded rest. The hazel-colored girl shrugged and went on with promise to return. The blonde-haired boy took the opportunity to confront his friend.

"Hey, Renton, I don't mind you not talking… but at the very least, can you try to not think of Eureka?" Renton looked up at him.

"Is it that obvious?" Moondoggie simply nodded. "Sorry… I'm glad you and Gidget are taking me out to get my mind off of her… I really am. But there's no way I can just forget about her. I truly wish I could just move on."

"Well…" Moondoggie sighed. "All I can say that it'll take time. Just know that we're here for you whenever you need us. For the sake of your friends, hang in there."

Moondoggie opened his bag and brought out two sodas. He tossed one to Renton. With a mutter of "thanks", the two boys drank in silence in perfect synchronization.

"It might be pretty callous of me to ask, but while we're on the subject, how far did you get with Eureka?" Renton panicked and nearly dropped his drink.

"Ehh… Well… I…" Renton stumbled for words. He stuck his right hand as deep into his pocket as he physically could while Moondoggie looked at him curiously.

"C'mon now… You can tell me." His friend insisted.

"I… Well, we kissed…"

"Uh-huh…" Moondoggie implored him to go on.

"And… Uhh… We've hugged…

"Uh-huh…"

"We… slept together." Moondoggie's eyes widened. "We didn't have sex!" Renton insisted.

"Uh-huh…"

"But I… We… I…" Renton gulped. "Fingered her…" Silence settled in the moment as Moondoggie stared dumbly at Renton. He didn't speak for a while.

"Wow… okay. Well, first off, congratulations on getting so far. And second, I will never touch your right hand ever again. Remember that." Moondoggie nudged Renton with his elbow as the embarrassed teen gave a weak smile.

"Well… I washed it really well." Moondoggie gave him a stern look. "Oh, all right, let's talk about something else."

"Man, you two really didn't waste any time."

"No… Okay… Yeah, you're right. Maybe we did move a bit too fast."

"First date and you two slept together and you've already done semi-unspeakable things to her body." Moondoggie shook his head as though he were scolding Renton.

"She started it! I wasn't going to move any further, but then she snuck into my room through my window and cuddled up against me!" Renton blushed at the memory. "We both thought we were just dreaming… so that's why we did all those things."

"Well, there's an excuse I've never heard before."

The conversation ended there as Gidget returned with five bags in hand. Moondoggie groaned. He already had ten that he was carrying. She hurried back excitedly as if she had news to tell the boys. What could be so exciting?

"Hey, Renton!" She started as she dumped her bags on the hapless Moondoggie. "Guess who I saw at the movie store when I came out!" Renton looked at her blankly. "Eureka!"

"Really? What was she doing?" Renton was suddenly very interested now.

"Well, she had a LOT of movies in her hands when I saw her. We chatted, awkwardly, about what she was up to." Gidget brought her finger to her lips. "I guess she really likes watching movies." Renton gave her a look. "Oh, she seemed really interested in what you were up to these days. I told her how much you miss her and she just blushed."

"I see…"

"Renton, she really misses you. She didn't say it, but as a girl, I can totally tell that she wants to talk to you again. If you're not going to move on, at least try to fix things with her!" Renton shook his head.

"No… I can't do that. That'd be too selfish of me." Gidget looked as though she were going to attack Renton.

"Gidget, give it a rest." Moondoggie intervened. "Let's go home now."

* * *

><p>"Oh, you're back!" Diane greeted Renton as he walked in the door. "Did you have fun?" Renton shook his head.<p>

"He never seems to have fun these days…" Gramps spoke simply from his chair. He was focused on his newspaper.

"Sit down and have some dinner, Renton." Diane prepared two plates. "Gramps is about to head out to meet some old war buddies so it'll be me and you, just like old times!" She was trying her best to cheer up her brother. Renton sat wordlessly at the table.

Soon after, Gramps got up, put on his coat and left out the front door without a word. The house was now empty except for the two siblings. Just as before, Renton let an uncomfortable silence fall over them both as they ate. Dinner was good, he thought to himself. It was nice having a quiet house for once with the absence of Talho. Unfortunately, Diane didn't feel the same as she put on a frown; she felt she had to do something to fix this situation.

"Renton… You never wanted to talk about this ever since that… time…" Diane hesitated on the memory of him and Eureka. "But what happened between you and that girl? You seem really depressed these days and you've never had her over ever since. What's wrong?"

"We… She… decided it was best to slow things down by not seeing each other." Renton finished his plate and looked away.

"Then there's still hope, isn't there?" Renton shook his head. "Hang in there… things will work out in the end if she really is the one for you. Okay?" Renton simply nodded. Another thought occurred to Diane.

"Have you been writing in your journal recently?" Her eyes narrowed. Renton looked up and became nervous immediately. "Go write in your damn journal! It's good for you and it'll make you feel better!" She shooed him away into his room.

* * *

><p><span>Renton Entry #11:<span>

I'd forgotten I still had this journal… it's been almost a month since my last entry. Sis yelled at me when she found out that I hadn't been writing for a while. She says it'll make me feel better and that it's good for me… I guess it'd be hard for her to not notice the way I've been lately. What the hell does she expect me to write about though? Whatever, I'll just start on random things.

School these days is nothing special. I've fallen into a routine and everything feels the same. Time seems to fly pretty fast. I can barely remember anything special about my days. Gidget and Moondoggie are always going out on the weekends… and they would always drag me along. I don't think I'll be going with them anymore. There's no point and I'm tired of being the third wheel. Those two should enjoy themselves without me depressing the mood.

I guess what bothers me most about tagging along with those two is that they'd point to some random girl close by and ask me if I think she's cute. Well, some of them were (like that Sara girl), but what do they want me to do about it? So what if the girl's cute? What does it matter to me? I can tell they're trying to get me to forget about Eureka, but it's not working. I don't think I could ever move on from her. It's so hard not to think about her. Even though I haven't had any dreams of her since that nightmare, I can't forget her. I don't care if she doesn't love me… I still love her and it'll stay that way.

The few times I see Eureka at school, I feel worried. Her head droops occasionally… I don't think she's sleeping very well. One time, a few days ago in biology class, she fell asleep on my shoulder… I know she didn't mean to do that, but I was really happy and warm for that moment. And then Holland yelled at me to pay attention and threw a chalk at my forehead… again. Eureka woke up right then and didn't fall asleep again. Her face was really red and she wouldn't look at me after that. That's not fair… how can she be the one to say we shouldn't see each other anymore and then go and do something like that?

I saw her again this morning when I went to go pick up the paper. She was acting really weird and strange. It was kinda cute… Another thing I missed about her… Eureka might act weird sometimes and say strange things, but she's so sweet and cute. It made me want to hold her close and protect her…

I miss her… I really do. I miss that short time I got to hold her. And if I ever get a chance to hold her again, I don't think I'll ever let her go… but that's not right. I can't be selfish and I have to be considerate of Eureka's feelings. I can't move on from her. Am I taking things too far? Maybe when I'm older I'll look back at this as a stupid high school crush… but it feels so much more than that…

I don't even get to talk to her in my dreams anymore… Sometimes I see her, briefly, and then she disappears. How pathetic… I can't even talk to the girl I love in my fantasies. She doesn't even want to see me there. What would I say to her? Now that I think about it, I didn't know what to say to her this morning when I saw her…

* * *

><p>Renton paused and sat back in his chair to ponder for a moment. He pictured Eureka in front of him and carefully chose his words.<p>

* * *

><p>Eureka… I'm sorry for everything that made you so uncomfortable and so confused. You were right to say that we should be apart. You were right in saying that we were moving too fast, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so selfish and I should have been more considerate towards you. Despite everything that's happened, though, I love you. I love you from the deepest part of my heart. I would give you anything I could and make sure that you stay happy no matter what. I want to hold you tight and kiss you again… I want you back. But if it makes you unhappy to be with me, then you shouldn't have to force yourself. If it's better to be away from me, then I'll accept it. But, for the rest of my life and beyond that, I'll always love you.<p>

Eureka,

I love you.


	10. Nightmare 2

**Lucid Dreams**

Wow, it's been a year since I've last updated… I am sincerely sorry for those who have been waiting for the next chapter. Things have been quite hectic for me this past year and I find myself extremely overwhelmed with all my responsibilities, hobbies, and passions and my attempts to balance them all. To be quite honest, I had all but forgotten about this fanfic, but recent reviews along with the (currently) ongoing sequel of E7 have reminded me that I have an unfinished story to tell.

It wasn't easy for me, given that, as I've mentioned before, this chapter was going to be quite emotional (hell, this entire fic is emotional for me, personally), however I've made up my mind to finish what I've started and confront some repressed feelings, emotions, and thoughts I've kept to myself and carried throughout my life. So, to all my very patient and loyal fans, both old and new, I'm back =)

I will make every attempt possible to return to my one-a-week release schedule I had set out! Feel free to attack me vehemently if I don't follow through.

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><p><strong>Dream 10: Nightmare 2<strong>

It had to be a nightmare. None of it could possibly be real. Fate couldn't be that twisted and sick to do such things to her. Eureka was denying the situation. Her mind was a frantic mess as desperation had claimed her. Despite her denials, her desperate insistence, and her pleas to whomever could hear her, she knew that what had occurred and what she is now to face were truly real.

"_Make it stop… Please! Make it all stop…_" Eureka's hands pressed against the flow of blood as firmly as they possibly could. Her body shook with too much intensity; the blood wasn't stopping and her hands were now stained crimson. Similarly, her eyes began to flow like the blood and the tears mixed with the rain that had started to fall.

The rain began with a drizzle and continued to fall harder and with much more intensity. Eureka didn't know or care how long she had sat there on the ground. She didn't care that her clothes were ruined, rather, she had no attention or care for anything around her. Her focus and her intentions were dedicated to the boy who lay on the ground bleeding and dying. The boy she swore she didn't love. The boy Eureka feared that she would lose forever.

"Renton…" Her voice came out quivering and desperate, "Please… open your eyes…" Eureka couldn't speak anymore as the tears and the sobs had constricted her.

Fate was merciless.

* * *

><p><strong>1 Hour Earlier<strong>

"As I was saying, the content in music and movies… Or rather, the memories we associate with them, often reminds us of the relationships we had with others at the time, right?" Mr. Stoner, the photography teacher, had digressed to a subject that most of his students were uninterested in now. Renton was barely listening; he mumbled a meek confirmation of "Yes" as did the rest of the class.

"That's right." Stoner continued on, "In other words, memory does not exist by itself. It is controlled by the environment in which it exists."

"_What is this guy even talking about..?_" Renton shared the same question in his thoughts as the rest of his classmates. Bored and uninterested in the lesson, he slipped into a daydreaming state as he often did these past few weeks in class and, as usual, memories of his time with Eureka filled his mind.

The image of the sweet, blue-haired girl he loved filled his mind and the memory of her familiar scent washed over him. He felt a familiar heartache grip him and emotionally relished in the painful sensation. It was almost masochistic, most certainly self-inflicted, and absolutely unnecessary.

Renton knew he was simply doing this to himself. He knew that if he truly wished it, he could stop these thoughts and move on with his life. But that was it: he didn't want to move on. He didn't want it to end. He was scared of what he would have left to live and strive for. Like a ship without its rudder, Renton would have no direction or purpose without these feelings for Eureka. So for this moment, he would linger and dwell in the angst and the depression. What would he have without it?

The daydream continued on as Renton remembered the time he spent at the café with Eureka. He remembered the calm and the peacefulness of that day. Everything was so perfect and so comfortable with her. If only that moment could last longer. He found himself remembering the tension and the anxiety they shared in the movie theater; his lips trembled a bit reimagining how badly he wanted to kiss Eureka at that moment. Perhaps this is what Stoner was talking about, Renton mused. He shook off the feeling and his thoughts shifted to his bedroom and the "incident" he had with her. Renton blushed slightly as he recalled that memory and how intimate he and Eureka had been at that moment. His body ached and longed to feel her soft skin once again. Her lips were so sweet and innocent and her hair was so soft. Renton felt himself going insane remembering these details and memories.

Suddenly the bell rang and it was lunchtime. Renton snapped out of his stupor feeling slightly sheepish but, regardless, he got out of his seat, gathered his belongings, and followed the flow of his classmates. He wasn't feeling hungry, however. All he wanted was to find a quiet spot where he could continue his daydream. Trudging along, Renton moved slowly and aimlessly to find his sanctuary.

…

"Ms. Novak, if I have to tell you one more time to wake up and pay attention, I will write you another detention… again!" Eureka abruptly sat up and straightened her posture to focus on her teacher. She had been asleep yet again in class.

"I'm sorry…" Eureka mumbled meekly. The adult simply shook her head and continued on with class.

The blue-haired teen let out a heavy sigh. Sleep still did not come to her easily at night. Her insomnia had persisted for many weeks now and Eureka found herself consistently pleasuring herself at night to fall asleep. Exhausting herself sexually seemed to be the only way she could lose consciousness, but it was emotionally draining. At the end of the climax, she found herself in a state of extreme loneliness, desperation, and self-hatred.

Eureka was at the edge of her sanity. It was as though Renton had been her drug and she was suffering withdrawal symptoms. Needless to say none of this was very good for her health or her academics. Her grades were declining steadily and the nurse had mentioned her concerns about Eureka's health declining as well. She wasn't eating properly anymore and minor illnesses and coughs were becoming much more frequent.

There wasn't much anyone could do, however. Even Holland was at a loss at what to do. He didn't even have an idea of what the cause of these problems was and why Eureka was behaving as she did. Mood swings became a common occurrence to the point where it was beyond the explanation "it's that time of the month". One moment she would be angry and upset over trivial matters and the next she would be in tears while clutching her pillow.

Eureka tried her best not to think of Renton but it was hard to not daydream about him and linger on old memories of times when she was much happier. She remembered the times they kissed and the sensations they shared. Her lips quivered at these thoughts and Eureka once again found herself in a state of desperate longing. Why couldn't those moments last longer? She found herself bitter at the thought of her decision to separate from Renton.

"_But it was for the better… right_?" Even her thoughts were desperate in rationalizing her actions. "_The pain will stop… it has to stop… eventually. When will it be over? When will I stop feeling this way?_" Eureka trembled as she sat.

The lunch bell interrupted her thoughts and Eureka felt her stomach growl. She sighed again, gathered her belongings, and walked out of the classroom to the cafeteria. Perhaps food will take her mind off of such thoughts. Eureka pondered whether or not she had breakfast today. She rubbed her eyes and yawned; it was getting harder to focus and stay awake.

The sight of a familiar person caught her eye as she walked, however. Renton had wordlessly passed by in front of her in the opposite direction of his classmates. All thoughts of hunger left her instantaneously and she followed him instinctively.

Eureka didn't know why she was following Renton. She was dangling on the edge of semi-consciousness due to her insomnia to the point where she might as well have been sleepwalking. Renton wasn't any better as he too behaved absent-mindedly and so the couple was walking aimlessly and slowly through the crowd. No one paid any heed as all were too busy rushing to get in line for food.

It seemed as though they had been walking for hours. Renton and Eureka trudged onward separately and at the same pace. With one foot in front of the other, they continued for what seemed like an eternity (given their warped perception of time) but neither of them cared or seemed to notice anything around them. Renton wasn't even aware of the fact that Eureka had been following him.

Finally, they had stopped. Renton had reached an empty corridor of the school, devoid of faculty and students alike. It was a dead end and it was quiet; a perfect place for him to brood and dwell on his daydreams. But something wasn't quite right. He wondered at what was out-of-place and finally turned around. His eyes met the sight of his delicate infatuation.

Eureka stayed where she stood, swaying slightly as she had when she sleepwalked into Renton's room. It was hard to tell if she was awake or even aware of where she was. The two teens spoke no words as they stood. Their minds were blank, though, for a moment, Renton wondered if he had slipped into another dream. He was cautious about making another mistake where he would assume reality for a dream. He took a careful step towards Eureka.

Without warning or hesitation, Eureka effortlessly and swiftly walked up to Renton, wrapped her hands around his head, and pressed her lips firmly against his. It took much longer for Renton to realize what was going on as everything had become surreal to him and his brain struggled to comprehend the situation. Those sweet lips that had been so tantalizing and alluring for so long finally met his once again and now he was in bliss. He felt the desperation and the eagerness Eureka carried within her and wrapped his arms around her lower back, pulling her in closer. She was finally his again, Renton thought. He pushed back with his lips intensely and passionately as in acceptance of the situation.

For the moment, Eureka was happy again. She couldn't get enough of Renton and she was desperate to have more. Her body greedily urged her to go on and take everything she could get. Her tongue found its way to Renton's lips and pressed in, demanding entrance and she savored every second of the interaction, continuing to yearn for more and more. The warmth and smell from Renton were intoxicating to her and Eureka's mind was thrown into blank ecstasy. Eureka pressed her body against Renton firmly and ran her fingers through his hair delicately and lovingly. But then she began to think too much.

Eureka's consciousness had finally caught up with the moment and realized what a terrible mistake she had made. The guilt, fear, and confusion washed over her immediately and engulfed her. And just as the moment had began instantly, Eureka spontaneously broke her lips away from Renton's and pushed her hands into him as hard as she could, trying to break away. Renton's arms held firm, however, and Eureka was forced to meet her eyes with his. She saw the confusion and pain in those blue eyes and felt her heart break. He didn't say anything, but she knew what he wanted to ask. Twice more, she pushed Renton away from her. She mustered enough strength to finally break away from his grip at the same time he had loosened his hold and let go.

Renton's back collided with the wall behind him and he slowly slid down to sit against it. The impact didn't hurt him, but he felt the pain in his chest as the heartache returned tenfold in strength. As soon as Eureka had broken away, she ran, desperate to be as far away from Renton as possible. He caught a glimpse of the tears that fell from her eyes as she stumbled, however, and he realized this was no time to wallow in his emotions and angst. Renton picked himself up and chased after her.

…

Eureka found herself alone on the school's outdoor patio. This particular lunch area was usually very crowded, but the sky had turned dark and cloudy, causing all students to eat their lunches inside in case of rain. Eureka didn't care for any of it, she sought solitude and escape. She sat on the ground against the railing of the balcony and let loose all the emotions she had held back for so long. Innumerable tears fell from her cheeks as she had no will or strength to hold back. She sat defeated and dejected by life.

"Why won't the pain stop..?" Eureka whispered to herself, "Why won't these feelings go away..?" She brought her fingers to her lips and reminisced on her moment of weakness, unleashing another torrent of uncontrollable sobbing.

"I can make it stop..." A voice spoke to Eureka. She looked up and saw she wasn't alone.

It was the boy who had desperately asked Eureka on a date weeks ago. He sat at the table in front of her, trembling and nervous with an unsettling look in his eyes.

"I can end everything for you!" His voice was on the edge of cracking completely and Eureka found herself disturbed; there was something off about this boy.

"All those notes I wrote you... the promises I made and everything I would do for you... Didn't you read them?" Eureka stood up slowly and cautiously. He remained seated, but his gaze studied Eureka from head to toe, as if he was a child looking over a toy he couldn't have.

"I'm sorry..." Eureka regained some composure, "I told you my answer before... and right now… I would like to be alone." The boy didn't move immediately. He sat still, looking Eureka over once again as she averted her eyes from his, finding herself scared and afraid.

And then, he got up, slowly. The motion in itself wasn't threatening, but Eureka felt a feeling of dread fill her stomach as he took slow steps towards her. His gait was creepy and awkward and his stature was hunched. Each step taken made Eureka's heart beat harder with increasing intensity. It seemed like years had passed as he got closer and an atmosphere of extreme anxiety had settled upon them both.

And then, he stopped with his nose mere inches from Eureka's. He put his hands on the railing around her, permitting no escape. Eureka brought her arms close to chest and cringed away from physical contact. She closed her eyes and turned her face to the side, away from her aggressor. The boy inhaled deeply, seeking as much of her scent as possible and, slowly, he brought his hand to Eureka's chin.

The touch of his hand chilled Eureka to the core. She felt it force her face toward his despite how desperately she struggled to not look into his eyes. It was futile and hopeless. Eureka locked eyes with the disturbed adolescent and felt fear like she had never known before. With sloth like grace, he moved his lips closer and closer to hers.

"No!" Eureka finally snapped. She regained her strength and pushed the boy with all her might and he fell back against the table pathetically; he was much weaker than Renton. "Please... just stay away from me..." Eureka's voice pleaded.

Again, the boy got up and walked towards her, as though it were a cycle. He grabbed Eureka's chin firmly and much more aggressive than before. She responded immediately with a brutal slap across his face. Her hand felt a sharp, lingering sting, but she no longer cared. Anger had taken hold of her. How dare this boy try to take her lips... They belonged to someone else.

The boy fell back against the table again where he stayed seated for a while, slumped over in apparent defeat. Every cell of Eureka's being screamed at her to run, but her feet remained rooted where they stood.

"That's not fair, Eureka... How could you be so mean? How could you be so... inconsiderate!" His last words formed like a snarl as he viciously lunged at Eureka.

She felt her throat suddenly constricted and her back bruise against the railing. Her hands instinctively grasped at the attacking limbs, but had no strength against the desperate and enraged willpower of the attacker. Eureka felt her vision go blurry and her conscious fade.

The pressure slightly loosened on her neck as the boy released one hand and slipped it under Eureka's shirt. His touch felt harsh and unnatural against her delicate skin as her body twitched and resisted vehemently. Eureka couldn't scream nor cry for help and felt her mind slip into a terrified state. His hand creeped up slowly toward her breast and her struggling intensified into a frantic attempt to free herself.

Thankfully, Eureka had enough function and instinct to slam her knee into the fork of the boy's legs and he crumpled instantly to the ground. The blue-haired girl coughed and choked for a moment, trying to regain lost oxygen and composure before she started running and screaming for help. Unfortunately, Eureka didn't get far; the boy grabbed her ankle as she ran and fell her to the ground with a hard impact. She felt and heard her left forearm crack.

The hapless girl struggled on the floor, dazed by fall and rendered semi-conscious by her broken arm. She felt herself turned onto her back and all of her functioning limbs pinned down. Eureka's attacker was on top of her and held down her legs and arm with his knees and hand. Tears streamed down the side of her face from the pain and a sense of utter helplessness gripped her heart.

"Now you are MINE!" The boy proclaimed. He dug his hand into his pocket and brought out a knife. Slowly, he used it to cut Eureka's shirt down the middle. She felt her skin go cold now that she was exposed and partially nude. Humiliation now mixed in with the rest of her emotions.

Eureka felt a sharp pain on her cheek and felt warm blood flow. The adolescent had cut her skin and proceeded to lick the blood from the cut. She let out a terrible scream and cried desperately, only to be silenced immediately by the mouth of her attacker. Eureka reacted immediately, trying to free her lips away from the terrible sensation, to no avail. Her instincts were still quite good, however, and she bit the boy's tongue as hard as she could. The girl's lips were now free and though she tasted blood, she felt slightly relieved.

"You'll pay for that..." The aggressor spat out the blood onto Eureka's face and brought the knife to her exposed bra.

Eureka closed her eyes in horror. It had to be a nightmare. None of this could possibly be real. Any moment she'd wake up in her bed, crying, but safe. But the pain in her arm was overwhelming and it forced her to face reality. In that moment, all hope abandoned her and despair had claimed her.

"Make it stop... Please..." Eureka could barely let out a whisper. Feeling utterly helpless and alone, she screamed instinctively and desperately, "RENTON!"

As though her pleas were answered, the weight disappeared instantly and Eureka's movement became unhindered. She heard a familiar and comforting voice, but in an enraged tone she had briefly heard before once.

"I'll fucking kill you..." Renton growled. His breathing was heavy from running to Eureka's rescue.

Renton had been scouring the school having lost where Eureka had run off to. He approached the patio just as he heard her scream his name and he promptly came running and planted his foot into the attacker's face, sending him flying off Eureka. Cautiously, Renton walked up to the injured aggressor as Eureka struggled to sit up straight.

Without a warning or word, the boy lunged at Renton with the knife but was easily dodged. Renton followed up with a strong punch to the face and a knee to the gut bringing his opponent to his knees. Renton was no fighter, but he was obviously much stronger than this demented individual.

"Give up, you've already lost." Renton said harshly as he noticed the boy grabbing the knife and picking himself up.

"If I can't have her..." He turned his head toward Eureka who was still seated on the floor behind him. "Then NO ONE can!" Instantly, he made a mad dash with his weapon poised at Eureka.

"No!" Renton reacted immediately and desperately by running after the attacker and grabbing his shoulder, attempting to stop him in his place.

With a cruel smirk, the armed boy stopped in place, turned as his shoulder was pulled, and stabbed Renton in the center of his abdomen. Time itself seemed to stop in that exact moment as Eureka let out a terrible and heart-wrenching cry with her hand reaching out towards Renton in a futile attempt to reach him. Confusion and pain gripped Renton as the realization sank in.

The knife was removed abruptly and with it, Renton fell to his knees. A sense of finality settled over them both and the demented boy stood over Renton with a victorious look on his face. The sense of victory was short-lived, however, as Renton grasped his assailant's arm firmly and looked up with a strong look of defiance and fury. Mustering all his strength and will, Renton stood to his feet, maintained an iron grip, and threw the boy over the railing of the balcony. The scream that escaped his mouth as he fell chilled Eureka to the core and, with a sickening thud, it was over. Raindrops began to fall with a slight drizzle as Renton collapsed to the ground.

Clutching her broken arm, Eureka desperately ran over to Renton and fell to her knees next to him. She pushed her hands against the flow of blood in a futile attempt to stop it. She felt a sharp pain shoot up her damaged arm but fought through it as her tears mixed with the rain, becoming indistinguishable and soaking Renton's body.

"Eureka..." The chocolate-haired boy barely whispered. His eyes were half closed but sought the light of his angel's eyes.

"Renton..." Eureka could barely look into his eyes. "I'm s-s-so sorry..." she choked on her words as her emotions overwhelmed her and turned her gaze away.

Eureka felt a warmth on her cheek gently turn her face back to Renton. His hand and his touch were undeniable to Eureka and she met his eyes once again. Bringing her hand to his, Eureka caressed it gently and lovingly as her cheek rubbed softly against his palm. She couldn't stop the tears from falling and ceased trying. The moment was too intimate and sorrowful for her to even speak or move and all Eureka could do was keep her eyes fixed on Renton's. It was another moment that neither of them wanted to see the end of, but the blood was trickling steadily from Renton's lips and his body trembled slightly as he struggled to stay strong for the girl he loved.

But slowly and inevitably, the light in Renton's eyes faded as his eyes closed. Those eyes in that final moment carried too many emotions for Eureka to bear: regret, sadness, pain, and cruelest of them all, love.

She felt the warmth leave his hand before it fell lifelessly to the ground by his side.


	11. Metaphysical Therapy

**Lucid Dreams**

Early release!  
>Shout-out to Chungdoo for the review =)<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 11: Metaphysical Therapy<strong>

"_I told a lie… I told a lie and I'm sorry…_" The blue-haired girl rested her head onto the chest of the boy who lay motionless. "I said I didn't love… and I lied." The words escaped with a whisper from Eureka's breath. Would they ever reach Renton's ears? She couldn't know. Eureka never imagined that she would never know.

With the rain falling with such intensity now, it was too hard and too cold to tell if Renton's heart still beat or if he was even breathing. Eureka felt as though her soul were fading. "_It's so cold._" Her body let out a violent shudder. Hypothermia was setting in and Eureka was losing feeling in her limbs. She welcomed the numbness and the fading of consciousness; No longer caring for anything anymore… especially not herself.

It was impossible to see if the blood had stopped flowing, but to Eureka it no longer mattered. Renton had lost too much blood from the wound and even if he were still alive, he would most certainly not survive. Despair and hopelessness gripped the innocent teen as she was unable to even think of how to save her love.

Suddenly, warm hands and arms embraced and lifted her. Eureka felt herself being carried away, but she was too weak to protest. Her eyes drooped and her vision blurred as though they accepted the situation. With the last of her willpower and determination, she brought her hand up to feel the face of the one who held her. A familiar, yet vague sensation swept over her fingers and instinctively, Eureka pleaded desperately, "Save him…"

Her last thoughts were of Renton.

* * *

><p>Eureka found herself in the back of a dark chapel, dressed in black, mourning attire. Alone in her row, she observed many others in front of her dressed similarly but recognized none of them. It felt as though her senses weren't working quite right… as though she wasn't fully awake. She couldn't even hear what the man at the front was saying, nor did she wish to hear. There was nothing immediately threatening or frightening about her setting, but the atmosphere was constricting and it felt like the clothes Eureka wore were getting tighter. Like a cruel torture device, it constricted and increased its pressure with each passing moment until she would break. Her breathing got harder as she gripped her chest in pain and let out an involuntary cry.<p>

The audience simultaneously turned their heads toward her. Eureka saw that they had no facial features, nothing to be recognized by. Immediately, she stood in horror and backed away through the aisle. Nothing happened and it seemed no one paid heed as she retreated. Step after step, she found her heart beat rise in intensity as she anticipated something to go wrong. After a number of steps, she felt her back thud against something obstructing her path. Eureka turned with a sense of dread.

The sight of Renton in a coffin met her eyes as she turned around; he seemed so peaceful and sorrowful just laying there and clothed in formal attire. Eureka's lips quivered and tears squeezed out involuntarily as she felt herself go cold and unable to move; her feet were rooted where they stood. With her body trembling and her will shattered, she reached for his face to feel him one last time. Was she ready to say goodbye?

Eureka's hand would never reach Renton's cheek, however. She suddenly found her wrist firmly grasped by a hard, cold grip. Pain shot up her arm as she beheld the sight of Renton's hand around her limb. Something was wrong, however. The touch didn't feel right. It was too harsh and rough. Slowly, Renton's eyes opened and met Eureka's. A cold fear washed over her very soul.

The emotions in the chocolate-haired boy's eyes were unfamiliar and horrifying to the young girl: anger, hatred, and madness had blended together with the fury of his eyes as he slowly sat up without breaking his gaze. His grip was undeniable and the pain threatened to drive Eureka mad. Confusion and desperation had taken hold of her as she resisted. With his free hand, Renton swiftly and harshly ripped Eureka's clothes away while pulling her close. His ferocity and viciousness increased with each attack and from his lips came a primitive snarl.

It was Fear unlike Eureka had ever known before as she pulled away with all her will. She succeeded in breaking away but stumbled to the ground and found herself completely nude before Renton as he ominously walked towards her. Embarrassment mixed with the fear and anxiety as Eureka desperately sought to hide from him… but there was nowhere to hide. The audience formed a circle around Eureka and Renton; there was no escape and there was no hiding.

Renton took his time walking as each step he took seemed like an eternity to Eureka. She wanted this to end and she wanted it to end now. It felt as thought everything "imperfect" and wrong with her body and soul was in plain sight before Renton and everything she wished to hide was so plainly exposed. Eureka curled up, lay on the ground, and turned away from him with her eyes shut tight. Like a child, she whimpered and cried for the nightmare to end. This wasn't her Renton. Where was her Renton? Where was the boy she loved so hopelessly?

And then, he stood over her menacingly and threateningly. He spoke no words as he looked down, laying his sight all over her body. Eureka felt it, she knew those terrible eyes peered over her and everything she wished was hidden. It seemed another eternity passed like this as Renton remained motionless for some time. Eureka felt her heart threatening to forsake her body with each passing minute. Like a predator and its prey, Renton stayed poised with a murderous aura bent on the poor girl.

Without warning, his hands shot out toward Eureka to lay her back flat against the ground. Before she could react, Renton was on top, straddling her bare body at the hip. From below, chains materialized and pinned Eureka's hands so that she lay with her limbs spread wide, exposing her delicate breasts. She fought hard to free her hands and hide her body to no avail. Her eyes met his again and Eureka fell deeper into her despair. Renton poised his hand high above her before it came down like a spear into her abdomen. His fingers pierced her skin and he was inside her now.

Pain gripped her stomach and she was unable to curl up to defend herself or end the pain. Eureka could feel him inside her with his fingers squirming intrusively as though they were exploring everything about her. With his free hand, Renton cruelly gripped her breast and squeezed with an iron grip. The sheer amount of pain was crippling. Breathing became heavier and harder. Vision became much poorer and blurrier until it faded all together. It was the sensation of dying that she had experienced before and it was a feeling that horrified her.

As her world became nothingness, Eureka felt moments of her life pass by, as though it truly was her final moments, into her violator; Renton was seeing everything. The flash of memories of Eureka's life slowed down to the nights when the love-stricken girl pleasured herself and imagined the boy she denied for so long. Like a movie, it played out in front of her eyes, the images of herself moaning and drowning herself in desperate self-induced ecstasy felt as damning evidence to her lies and delusions.

"No… please… don't watch this." Eureka desperately cried out, "Stop looking! Please… Renton… Anything but this." She felt humiliated and disgusted. It was almost certain that Renton was disgusted too. She had hurt him so much and yet she lusted for him so selfishly. How could she have possibly thought such things would be without consequence? The sequence of memories sped forward.

Eureka was in Renton's bed again. The scene of him stimulating her with his fingers played out as it had before in her mind and an odd sense of lust took over. She felt oddly aroused despite the situation and a familiar heat in her lower region. "Renton…" her voice was weak but it had a pleading tone as though she were begging for him. Eureka couldn't tell him what she wanted and found herself hoping that he would understand… that he would grant her this last request. She knew that it wouldn't happen, however. The moment passed swiftly and other memories were now flashing past in a maddening and dizzying mosaic.

And then, Eureka felt Renton leaving, pulling out from inside her. "_No… don't leave me._" She could no longer speak or reach out to stop him. "_I'm going to die… I'm going to die if you leave me, Renton…_" Tears escaped her once more in that moment and her chest tightened mercilessly. She felt the chilling embrace of Death present and imminent. It had taken the place of the chocolate-haired boy of her affections, laughing harshly as though it were claiming its prize. Eureka felt it slowly slipping its cold fingers into the trap between her legs. A feeling of horror that she had never felt before in her life claimed her soul.

With a terrible and heart-wrenching scream, Eureka awoke.

* * *

><p>"Calm down, Eureka!" Strong hands held the thrashing and frantic girl. "You're safe here, calm down." Her restrainers took care to avoid harming Eureka as she panicked. The white light and the brightness of her immediate area blinded her sight; another unfamiliar setting. What sick and disgusting torture awaited her here? She thought. Was there no end to her suffering? It felt as though she were paying her penance for her sins.<p>

Finally, Eureka's eyes adjusted and her breathing calmed down. Her heart beat slowed and became less intense with each passing second, but she could feel the adrenaline pumping in her body still. She could see now that she was in a hospital bed and by her side were Holland and a familiar, red-haired doctor she had seen regularly, Dr. Mischa. Eureka was safe. She knew these people and they wouldn't hurt her. But hadn't she known Renton and hadn't he just hurt her? Still reeling from her nightmare, Eureka emotionally crashed and broke down. She curled up in the bed and sobbed painfully.

Holland and Mischa were at a loss for words as they stood by the emotionally train-wrecked teen. They felt a deep sense of pity and sadness for all that Eureka had witnessed and experienced and there was nothing they could do or say to make her feel better. Perhaps the best approach was to let her cry it all out. Slowly, her violent sobs quieted down to controlled sniffs. As she regained her wits and senses, she noticed the cast on her left forearm and touched its hard surface with her free hand with a slight curiously. After another uncomfortable moment of Eureka quietly lying on her bed, Holland sat down on his chair and pulled up close to her.

"We saw everything from the school's camera. We know what happened to you and…" He cut himself short, wary of mentioning Renton's name lest he unleash another torrent of tears from Eureka. She continued to lay there without a word. "I understand if you don't want to talk. I'll take care of everything for you, so take as much time as you need or want." Eureka still had nothing to say, but she simply nodded as she lay.

"Your arm is stable and we were lucky that the fracture wasn't serious." Mischa spoke, "You'll recover quickly and there shouldn't be any lasting damage. In fact, you could leave this hospital now if you want." Eureka sat up slowly in her bed finally.

"How long have I been here?" She mumbled curiously.

"Just one night," Holland responded, "We actually just came in for your morning checkup to find you screaming…"

"Eureka… were you having a bad dream?" Mischa inquired. Eureka simply nodded. "Poor girl…" Mischa sighed as she patted Eureka's soft, blue hair. Another moment passed before Eureka spoke again.

"Where is he..?" She felt her voice tremble. Mischa pointed to the other occupant of the hospital room on Eureka's left-hand side. She turned her head to meet the sight of her love lying in a separate bed, unconscious, but breathing.

"He lost a lot of blood and he had the bad luck of having quite a rare blood type." Mischa stated. "Luckily, I've been both Holland's and your doctor since both of you were young and found an effective match." Eureka broke her gaze from Renton to look at her doctor. "Holland was quite brave and insisting on using his blood to save that boy." Mischa paused for a moment with a slight frown. "Really, Holland, you should consider spending some time in a bed to recover. The amount of blood you gave was quite risky, as you could tell by all the forms the staff had you sign." Eureka looked to her brother with a slight panic.

"Holland… Are you hurt..?" She spoke worriedly as Holland shook his head.

"That was yesterday and Mischa did a good job making sure I was okay." He said. "I'm feeling pretty tired, but I'll be fine, Eureka…" Holland suddenly found himself in the embrace of his little sister.

"Thank you…" She said warmly. Holland simply caressed her hair.

"You begged me to save him… so I did what I could."

…

Nighttime had settled in quietly and smoothly as the hospital's daily activity settled to a sleepy calm. Most of the patients were asleep now and it was time for the wards to be closed off so proper rest could be attained. There were several exceptions, however. These rooms had patients who had not yet recovered from their sleep and had loved ones waiting eagerly for news of their awakening. Eureka sat in one of these rooms by Renton's bedside. She had been discharged from the hospital that afternoon, but refused to leave his side. Holland had permitted it, however, and told her that she would be excused from school for at least a week. He would check in at meal times to bring her food and toiletries as well as anything else she needed from home. Holland had brought Eureka's diary to her, but it lay unopened on the table by her side.

"I didn't read any of it." He promised. Holland knew better than to pry into those matters before Eureka was ready to talk about them. He knew that the time would come when she could talk to him about everything. She just needed some time and space. There was no telling when Renton would wake from his coma, and until he did, Eureka would never willingly leave his side.

Hours had passed since Holland came and left. The meal and snacks he brought her were consumed hastily and sat snugly in the trash can of the room. At least Eureka's appetite was back. She was grateful for her brother and her doctor for everything. Mischa had pulled some strings with the hospital's administration, permitting Eureka to stay for several days until Renton woke up. Fortunately, these benefits extended to the point where she was allowed to use the facilities in her ward to wash and maintain hygiene. The shower's stream of water was quite harsh and strong. Eureka thought as she brushed her teeth. How was a recovering patient supposed to be able to stay standing with that much force to fight? She dried herself off with the towel and felt a slight annoyance with her cast on her arm and her inability to clean that part of her body.

With a sigh, she stepped out of the ward's bathroom (fully clothed, of course) to notice that Renton had another female visitor by his side: his sister. Diane turned to acknowledge Eureka and gave her a soft and sad smile. She motioned for the teen to come and sit by her. Meekly and shyly, Eureka obliged and sat quietly next to Diane.

"Holland told me everything that happened." Diane started. "I want you to know right now that I don't blame you for any of this." Eureka's gaze became downcast. The older girl rested an arm around Eureka and hugged her softly, letting the younger girl rest her head on Diane's shoulder.

"Renton made his choice to protect you and I'm sure he was fully aware of the danger." Diane spoke again. "Just try not to hold it against him when he wakes up… You can't stop a boy from doing what he wants when he's in love." Eureka felt her eyes watering.

"He deserves better than me…" The blue-haired girl whimpered. "He deserves someone that won't hurt him like I did…"

"But he chose you." Diane replied firmly. "He had truly fallen for you and decided that he wanted you and only you… Can you say that you can return those feelings? Do you have feelings for him?" Eureka stayed silent but nodded slightly. "Then you two deserve to be together."

"I told him that I didn't love him… I lied to him…"

"Why?"

"Because I was scared…"

"Why?"

"We… I felt like we were moving too fast… I'd never felt this way about someone and I've never had someone like Renton. I didn't know what to do and I wasn't ready for any of this."

"But what about him," Diane inquired, "Did you think that you weren't the first girl he had these kinds of feelings for and experiences with?" Eureka looked up at Diane. "I'm sure Renton was scared too and he didn't know what to do… But what he did know was that you were very important and precious to him. And for Renton, that was probably enough."

"How do you know all this..?" Eureka replied. "How can you be so sure that he truly felt this way?"

"I'm his sister." Diane stated simply. "If I couldn't tell these things just by the way he's been acting this past month, I'd be a pretty shitty sibling, right?" She hugged the young teen affectionately.

"What if he hates me now? What if he doesn't want me anymore?" Eureka worried.

"Do you still love him?" Eureka blushed at the word as Diane gave her an intense look. She could only nod in reply. "Our father had a saying: 'don't beg for it, earn it, and it will be given to you'." Eureka looked at her curiously. "If Renton doesn't trust you or want you anymore, but your feelings are still the same, then win it all back. Make him fall in love with you again."

"I never knew Renton had such a strong sister…" Eureka responded meekly. "It would certainly explain a lot." Diane simply smiled back at her. A moment had passed them both as they watched Renton sleep.

"By the way," Diane had a sly and curious tone, "Is your brother single? Is he seeing any other girls?" Eureka looked to her confused initially until she realized what Diane was asking.

"Oh!" Eureka exclaimed embarrassingly. "I'm not sure… but I don't think he's mentioned anything about seeing anyone."

"Good." Diane smiled mischievously. "Talho won't beat me this time! That stupid drunk slut has been stealing all my men, but now I have the upper hand!" Eureka blinked.

"Don't worry about it."

* * *

><p><span>Eureka Entry #12:<span>

Hello, Diary,

There's just so much that's happened these past days that I can't bring myself to relive. Renton's in a coma and I don't know if he'll ever wake up again. And it's all my fault… He was protecting me from this boy that tried to do terrible things to me, and now he won't wake up. I don't know what to do, Diary. I'm scared that if he wakes up, he might hate me… he might not love me anymore. I feel so stupid and worthless…

* * *

><p>"Eureka, you can't always be so hard on yourself…" Diane was reading a tabloid as she spoke. Eureka frantically hid her diary's contents by holding it close against her chest as Diane chuckled. "I didn't read anything, but I can tell you're lingering too much on sad thoughts right now. Try to think of other things."<p>

"I'll try…" Eureka responded sheepishly.

* * *

><p>It's been two days since I woke up from my attack. Renton's sister, Diane and my brother drop by to visit during their lunch breaks and dinnertime. Diane told me that writing might make me feel better about all this… Maybe she's right. She thought it was really cute that both Renton and I kept a diary… I wonder what he writes about in his? Does he write about me? What does he think about everything that's happened so far? I'm really curious now…<p>

* * *

><p>"Ah, Holland!" Diane exclaimed excitedly to greet the grey-haired man. "How was your day? Was the traffic bad? Did your students give you a hard time? Weather was pretty hot today, huh? You must be hungry!" Diane's amazing ability to overload questions on another individual was impressive.<p>

"Err, I, umm… Everything's fine, I guess." Holland fumbled for words as he nervously looked away. "I brought Eureka her dinner and came to check up on things…"

"How sweet of you!" Diane smiled brightly. "I wasn't here yesterday, were you? Are you coming again tomorrow? Anything I can do?" The questions just kept on coming.

"I'm trying to write here!" Eureka huffed in mock frustration. "You two, go get some dinner so I can think!" The command shocked Holland as he attempted to retort. He was cut short by Diane's enthusiastic "Okay!" before she firmly grabbed Holland by his arm and dragged him with her out of the room. He was helpless to resist.

* * *

><p>I think Diane likes my brother. She's been asking me questions about if he's been talking or hanging out with any other girls and she seems very happy every time he comes around. I know she has to be very worried about Renton too… but she's a very strong person and I think she has faith that her brother will come around. I wish I had that kind of strength… Maybe Renton wouldn't have to protect me and get hurt if I were stronger…<p>

* * *

><p>Eureka paused her writing to eat some of the food Holland had brought her. She devoured it within minutes.<p>

* * *

><p>It's strange, but I've been feeling better physically (my arm is still recovering from a fracture), but emotionally, I feel so fragile. I try my best to not linger and not torture myself on everything I've done, but it's so hard… I feel so guilty for everything that's happened and I wish I had more sense in what to do.<p>

I've made up my mind to do everything I can to make thing right with Renton… he deserves that much at least. I hope when he wakes up he can forgive me and that he'll still at least want to be friends… This past month has been so lonely without him and without hearing his voice. If I can just be by his side, I'll be happy…

I'm sleeping normally again. At first, I was afraid I would have another nightmare like before when I woke up at this hospital, but now that I've been sleeping next to Renton, I don't dream at all. It's nice having a full night's sleep again. Even though he's still recovering, I feel so much safer with him.

Oh! Look at the time… Diane and Holland haven't come back at all… maybe visiting hours are over. I wonder what those two are up to… No, I probably shouldn't think about that… I'm getting sleepy now, so I'll end here.

Thanks for listening, Diary. Good night.

* * *

><p>It was an undeniable feeling of safety and comfort for Eureka. She rested her head and her arms on the bed Renton was in next to his right hand and settled snugly with the blanket on top of her back. She put Renton's unconscious hand between her hands and rested her head on it, keeping it warm and savoring the feeling of his skin against hers. With her eyes drooping slightly, she smiled as she looked upon his carefree and relaxed face.<p>

Eureka would wait for Renton no matter how long it took for him to wake up. She wanted to be the first thing he saw when he returned from his dreams and prayed that he would accept her if he saw how she waited for him. It was her penance and her redemption to atone for Renton's broken heart and body. She could have never known that she would have to atone for a broken mind. Fate wasn't quite done with her yet.

…

She awoke abruptly and slightly startled. The sun was shining bright into the room; it was a beautiful and deceiving morning. She yawned sleepily while remaining where she had slept and wondered what had stirred her from her sleep as she rubbed her eye with a free hand. Eureka felt the hand that she slept on move and she froze. She sat up slowly in her chair and looked to Renton's face. His eyes were half-open and he blinked with apparent confusion. The soft hint of a blush was on his face as he slowly woke up from his slumber.

"Renton!" Eureka was wide awake now and was overtaken with a variety of emotions: some of sorrow, but most of relief and happiness. She couldn't think of where to start and what to say, but such thoughts were stopped short as she looked into his eyes. Something was off. Why was there so much confusion in his eyes? It wasn't the confusion of where he was or how he came to be there. There was a genuine, honest confusion and questioning look in his eyes of a boy who didn't recognize who he was looking at. Eureka was ready to accept the consequences of her actions. She was ready for Renton's anger, frustration, and even hatred. She wasn't ready for this. She could have never been ready. Eureka felt a familiar sense of dread fill her stomach once more and her world froze as Renton's lips began to move.

"Who are you?"


	12. Amnesia

**Lucid Dreams**

Writer's block sucks.

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 12: Amnesia<strong>

"Hello, Renton, my name is Dr. Mischa." The red-haired adult carried a clipboard in her hand for notes.

"H-hello…" Renton replied with hesitation. "Where am I?" As he sat up in bed, he checked his surroundings and the room he was in.

"You're in the recovery ward of the hospital that admitted you after your fight." The boy gave her a puzzled look. "Do you remember what happened?" He shook his head, obviously unable to recall much.

"As I thought… it seems that the coma and the blood loss from your injury caused some damage to your memory." Mischa jotted down some notes onto her paper. "It could take time before everything comes back to you, but seeing as you're recovering quite well physically, you should have no problem returning to normal." Her tone was optimistic but inside she was still worried.

"How long was I out, doctor?" Renton asked.

"About three days. We had actually expected you to be out for much longer. Needless to say you surprised us." Renton frowned slightly as he rubbed his stomach.

"What happened to me?" He inquired.

"One of the students at school stabbed you in your abdomen." Renton reacted in shock. "You lost a lot of blood and it was pretty severe, but we have very good doctors here and you're quite tough. Try not to move too much since your wound is still healing." He nodded.

"Okay, I'm going to check how severe your memory loss was. Can you tell me your most recent memories?"

"Umm… I remember getting some books and supplies at the local office store… my middle school's exit ceremony… and I think the month was August…"

"Hmm…" Mischa scribbled away at her clipboard. "It seems like your memory is still within this year, but before you started this school year."

"Yeah, I don't remember starting high school…" Renton replied with a worried tone.

"It's okay, it's only been a little over a month since school's started so I'm sure you'll be able to catch up." Mischa reassured him. "Your friends and teachers can definitely help you with this and I'm certain your memory will come back to you if you revisit material from before your memory loss." He simply nodded. "It doesn't look like you've retained any severe, permanent damage, but I'm going to check your other test results just to be safe." Mischa turned to walk away.

"Doctor," She turned to face Renton again, "Why was I stabbed?"

"Unfortunately, Renton, I don't know the full details of what led to your incident." She spoke with an apologetic tone. "I'm sure your sister or your friends or your teacher can tell you."

"Okay…" Renton lay back down on his bed. "Ah! One more question, doctor…" He blushed slightly.

"Yes?"

"Err… That girl with the blue hair that was by my bed this morning… W-w-who is she?" He voiced his question with a stutter in apparent nervousness and embarrassment. Mischa chuckled softly.

"That was Eureka Novak. She's your biology teacher's little sister, your classmate, and your next-door neighbor. She and her brother have been patients of mine for quite some time now." She smiled as she looked at the teen's expression before she teased him. "Cute, isn't she?"

The chocolate-haired boy could only nod in a meek agreement. As the doctor left the room, he looked to his right hand and curled his fingers softly before bringing it close to his mouth and inhaling.

There was a hint of a sweet, yet familiar and nostalgic scent.

...

"How're you feeling, Renton?" Diane sat at the bedside by her brother. He sat up slowly while rubbing his forehead.

"I'm okay for the most part, but I get really dizzy and tired every now and then…" He frowned.

"Well, given your coma and amnesia, I guess it's understandable. At least you didn't lose a significant part of your memory…" Diane paused for a moment. The thought of Eureka came to her at that moment as she considered that perhaps Renton did lose something significant. The poor girl had tried to hold back her tears when she told the doctor and Diane that Renton was awake, but he no longer remembered her.

"How long before I have to go back to school again?" Renton interrupted Diane's thoughts. "Man, it's going to be so weird coming back to a schedule that I don't remember…"

"Relax, the school's excused you for however long you need and I'm sure Moondoggie and Gidget will help you out." Diane continued on. "Hell, you even live next to one of your teachers." She stopped there, wondering if she should go on about this subject. Perhaps she said too much.

"Speaking of neighbors… Do you know that girl, Eureka?"

"_Damn_." Diane chose her words carefully. "Err, of course I know her, she lives right next to us!"

"Did… Did I know her before I lost my memory? I mean… She was by my bed when I woke up." The boy blushed at the thought. Her beautiful smile had been the first thing he saw and at that moment he had wondered if maybe he had died and met an angel. His sister didn't reply immediately. Renton went on.

"Were we just classmates? Were we friends..? Or… were we more than that? No… that's stupid… we were probably just classmates that talked. I mean… she's definitely way out of my league." Renton dismissed the absurd fantasy that he could ever have had a special relationship with such a cute girl.

"Honestly, Renton, you never really told me much about Eureka before your memory loss… well actually, you didn't really talk much these past few weeks…" Renton gave her a puzzled look. "You've been really depressed and moody around home and spent a lot of time just staying in your room. You went out a few times with your friends but you even stopped doing that."

"Why..?" Diane simply shook her head.

"Gramps and I could only guess at what you were so depressed about…" Diane stopped there. Another uncomfortable moment of silence passed between the siblings.

"Why was I stabbed, Diane?" Renton decided to change the subject. "Was I fighting someone? Did I piss off the wrong guy at school?" His sister gave an uncomfortable look and thought carefully. Should she tell him? Diane gave a reluctant sigh before she spoke.

"The boy who stabbed you was attacking Eureka." Renton's eyes widened. "He was basically trying to rape her before you stepped in to save her." Diane continued on. "He pulled a knife on you, but you still managed to throw him off the balcony before you collapsed and fell into your coma."

"Is he..." Renton stopped himself short, feeling cold. "Did I…"

"He's dead." Diane said simply. Her brother turned his gaze away in shock and horror. Renton had killed someone and no longer remembered it. A sickening feeling gripped his stomach and his body went numb as he trembled. He felt his sister laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Renton… I saw the video from the cameras at school. I know you must be feeling terrible over the fact that you killed him, but you did the right thing… and you were very brave." He didn't seem very convinced. "He tried to kill you while you were protecting Eureka. Everyone who saw the footage… the police, the teachers, the doctors… They all agree. You were defending yourself and your classmate and no one's pressing charges." Still, Renton wasn't comforted. He shook his head and hugged his pillow tightly.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing that you're feeling this way about taking someone's life… Just remember that despite how regretful it is that someone had to die, you saved Eureka from a terrible thing…" Renton looked to his hand again.

"Is… Is she still here?" He barely whispered. Diane shook her head.

"Maybe you should talk to her about all this when you get back home… I mean she's right next to us." His sister spoke softly but Renton shook his head.

"No… I shouldn't make her relive that experience just to recall my memory… that'd be selfish."

"Renton…"

"If she wants to talk about it, then that's fine… but I won't be the one to force that on her." He spoke with a sense of finality. There was no changing his mind.

* * *

><p>Two days later, Renton found himself in front of the Novak family's house on a lazy, late afternoon. The hospital had conducted several more tests and examinations to make sure he would be fine. Physically, there was little he had to recover from; the wound would take some time to heal and there was a possibility of scarring, but he would be fine. Mentally, it was nigh impossible to tell if Renton would regain the memories of the past month. Dr. Mischa had simply told the Thurstons that they could only hope and stay positive.<p>

The chocolate-haired boy found himself feeling nervous as he stood in front of the door. Why was he being so hesitant? He wondered. Thoughts of what he would say to explain why he was there ran through his mind as he rang the doorbell of the house. Renton couldn't remember who Mr. Novak was, but hopefully he was a nice teacher and would help out his amnesiac student. No one answered the door immediately. For a good chunk of time, Renton wondered if maybe nobody was home. Perhaps he should try another time. The boy turned to walk away.

The sound of sniffling and footsteps stopped him before he could leave the welcome mat on the floor, however. His heartbeat began to pound harder as he heard the door being unlocked and opened. Renton turned back around to see Eureka standing at the door. Her left arm hung lifelessly by her side with a cast on the wrist. She was dressed quite modestly: her over-sized white t-shirt hung loosely and covered half of her thighs. Renton wondered if she was wearing anything underneath it and began to blush. Words failed him as he struggled to think of what to say to this impossibly cute girl. He turned his gaze nervously to the side.

"Err… Umm, I…" Maybe Renton shouldn't have spoken at all. He gathered up the courage to look Eureka in the eye. A different feeling gripped him as he saw that her eyes were red and watery, as though she had been crying. "Is… Is this a bad time?" He asked shyly.

"No…" Eureka shook her head and wiped her eyes with her hand. "I'm sorry about that… What can I help you with?" Renton paused for a moment.

"Is your brother home? I was wondering if he'd be willing to help me get caught up in his class… If I could just look over some old class notes or something, it might help."

"Oh!" Eureka looked away for a moment. "He's not here right now… I'm not sure when he'll be back."

"Oh, okay then… thanks anyway." Renton began to turn away.

"…I can help you with my notes." The blue-haired girl's words barely caught his ear as the mumbled meekly from her mouth. Renton stopped and looked back at her. Eureka had her arms wrapped around herself with one hand nervously gripping her shoulder. Her cheeks were noticeably red and her eyes seemed desperate to avoid his. "Actually… I have notes from all of your classes… I might be able to help you better than my brother." Her second set of words came out even quieter.

"…_She's so cute!_" Renton felt himself go red too. He gulped before he replied, "Okay… sure…" The timid couple walked into the house in awkward silence and painful embarrassment.

…

"So… any questions?" Eureka had finished going through all of the class notes with Renton to jog his memory. Mischa was right; reviewing the old lecture notes had caught him up with what he had learned up until his memory loss. Everything was still fuzzy and shaky but he knew he could manage.

"No, I think I got everything." Renton smiled. "Thanks for helping me out." Eureka blushed deeply and looked away nervously.

The two were seated on the floor of the house's living room. A small table served as their desk. To Renton, spending time with Eureka felt nostalgic and comfortable, despite the early awkwardness. It took some time for the two to get comfortable, but afterwards everything felt natural as if it was something he had always done before. This feeling was slightly unsettling, however. The question of what kind of relationship he had with Eureka before his memory loss kept nagging at him and he felt the curiosity eating away at his conscious. After an uncomfortable moment, Renton took a breath before he asked his next question.

"Eureka…" She turned to look at him. "You said earlier that you used to be in all of my classes… Why'd you change your schedule?" This thought had been with Renton the entire time the two had been studying. The girl brought her fingers to her lips in apparent trepidation.

"Ah! You don't have to answer that if you don't want to…" Renton turned his gaze away.

"No… don't worry…" Eureka shook her head. "I rescheduled my classes because I wanted to switch my elective class…" It seemed like a reasonable excuse, but what was this feeling that Renton had in his gut? Something told him there was more to this than that. He decided to not press the issue. Another uncomfortable silence settled over both of them.

"_Why am I still here..?_" Renton thought to himself. "_I got what I needed… so I should probably get going now._" He mentally slapped himself for being so hopeful that Eureka would want him to stay with her longer. "Well… I guess I should get going now." He stood up slowly and gathered his things into his backpack, but Eureka remained sitting with her hand firmly clenching the cast on her wrist.

"Renton… you can stay longer… if you want." The poor girl was furiously red and refused to make eye contact with the boy. He too began to blush at the thought. "W-W-We can watch a movie… or something… b-but only if you want to!" This was too good to be true. A girl this cute wants a boy like him to stay and watch a movie together? It was clear that there must have been something between the two of them before Renton had lost his memory. The question now was how close he was to her before his incident. Renton paused for a while before he responded.

"Umm… E-Eureka…" Renton took a step toward her. "What were-" He was cut short as his foot tripped on the leg of the table. Instantly, he fell over as his books and papers scattered everywhere.

The boy certainly didn't mean for this to happen. As though he were petrified, Renton found himself unable to move. He was on top of Eureka now. His hands were planted on her shoulders, but this was the least of his worries. Her shirt had elevated to cover only her breasts and revealed her tight shorts and bare stomach and Renton's pelvic area was now firmly pressed up against the fork of Eureka's legs. To add to the embarrassment, the poor boy felt his "little guy" getting harder. From the look on Eureka's face, she felt it too.

The couple was frozen in place. Neither of them dare moved or breathed as their faces turned to a strawberry shade. Words failed them both as the two teens wondered if this was really happening. What could either of them possibly say in this moment? The embarrassment was becoming too much to handle, but neither of them had the will to move or act. For a wild moment, Renton wondered if maybe he should go further. Were her lips quivering? It seemed as though they begged to meet his lips.

"_No… I'm just imagining things now…_" Renton thought to himself. "_There's no way…_"

His eyes widened in shock as he felt Eureka's hand gently brush his. Renton could feel her body trembling as her eyes closed. Those delicate lips looked so inviting to him and he felt the temptation driving him mad. What should he do? Confusion had his head spinning and struggling to comprehend what was going on now. Renton moved his lips closer to Eureka's. Was this it? Was this going to be his first kiss?

"What the fuck are you doing?" Immediately, Renton broke away from Eureka and stood to his feet in horror. Holland had come back home.

"I-I-I'm sorry!" The boy frantically gathered his belongings. "I d-d-didn't… I mean… This wasn't on purpose!" His voice had a pleading tone as Holland simply glared back. Eureka sat up and readjusted her shirt frantically. She kept her gaze focused on the ground.

"W-We were studying…" Renton's voice failed him as he stuttered.

"Each other?" Holland replied coldly.

"N-No! That was an accident!" Renton was panicking now. "I mean… I tripped and then…" The older brother remained silent but Renton could see his eye twitching in fury. "I'll get going now." He ran for the door like a prisoner escaping his cell. He fumbled for a while as he tried unlocking the door.

"Renton…" Eureka had followed him to the door. "It's already unlocked…" Her gaze was still downcast and her face was still red.

"Oh…" Renton turned the knob slowly and stepped outside. He kept his back facing Eureka in obvious shame and embarrassment. How could he possibly face her now? The two stood still in silence for a brief time before Renton spoke again.

"Thanks for helping me…" He mumbled. "And… I'm really sorry. I… I didn't mean for that to happen and I'm really, really sorry." Renton felt his eyes watering. How could he have screwed up so badly? Eureka remained silent.

Unable to bear the humiliation, the boy ran back home.

* * *

><p>It felt nice lying in bed and hugging his pillow. To Renton, the feeling was very familiar and he suspected this was something he did often before he lost his memory. He felt like crying at the thought of the embarrassing situation he had gotten himself into with Eureka. There was no way he had any chance with her anymore. Not after what he had done. Renton continued to wallow in his self-loathing of his incompetent social skills.<p>

"_There's no way Eureka and I had anything special going on. There's no way that anything special will happen between us now…_" He felt like crying over this thought.

It was night time now and Renton had finished his dinner wordlessly with his grandfather and sister before he retreated to his room. The two relatives seemed unconcerned and unaffected by this behavior; they had come to get used to it and understood that Renton was going through a lot these days. What could they even do to help? It was probably best to leave him be.

A chilly breeze swept through Renton's open window and he shivered slightly. He tightened his hold on the pillow and wondered what it would've felt like to hold Eureka like so. There was no way he could possibly know now. Not after what had happened today.

"Renton?" A meek voice called to him from his window. The boy sat up in his bed instantly as he recognized Eureka's voice.

"Eureka?" She was standing outside the window. He looked away embarrassed and overcome with shame.

"Are you busy right now..?" The girl inquired as her face steadily grew redder. "I-I was wondering…" Renton looked to her again in curiosity. "T-There's this hill behind our house where if you lay down… you can see all the stars in the sky…" Eureka stumbled for her next words, nervous at the fact that Renton hadn't spoken yet. "W-W-Would you like to come with me?"

"_I must be dreaming…_" Renton thought to himself. "_There's no way… why would she..?_" He shook off the thought and blushed.

"Sure..."

…

The stars were beautiful. It wasn't every night that Renton could see the sky so clearly and he felt captivated by the sight. Even more, he couldn't believe he was lying next to such a cute girl at a time like this. Obviously, he was nervous and afraid that another "accident" would occur and result in another embarrassing situation, but he lay still and let himself enjoy the moment. It was impossible to tell what the girl by his side was thinking. But then again, she was the one who had invited him out here to spend time like this. Questions filled his mind again, but he knew this was not the time to ask them. He was fine with the moment and felt that nothing should disturb it.

A chilly breeze snuck up on the couple and chilled their bodies. The two instinctively inched closer to each other, seeking warmth, and touched shoulders. Like clockwork, the two were blushing again and deliberately avoided looking at each other. No words were exchanged, but nothing felt out of place for the two as though this was all meant to be. Renton had no desire to break this fleeting moment of happiness and was content to simply lay on that hill with Eureka. Nothing could touch them and nothing could break them.

"One day during lunch… we were talking about stars… Eureka spoke softly with her eyes closed as Renton remained silent. "I don't remember why or how we got to talking about it, but you told me about a hill… it wasn't too close or too far from your house… and you could see all the stars in the sky from it." Renton turned his head to look at her, but Eureka kept her eyes closed and continued.

"It was the perfect getaway for you… whenever you felt overwhelmed… or whenever you felt like you had no where left to go…" She opened her eyes and spoke even softer. "You would come here and all of it would just go away…"

"I… I told you all that..?" Renton whispered back. Eureka simply nodded.

"I don't remember when… but I remember you telling me how there were times when you felt down… and how you felt depressed… but coming here fixed all that." She paused for a moment.

"I thought of all the terrible things you'd gone through… and how you must be so confused and lost right now…" Her eyes were watering now. "I-I didn't know if you'd remember this place and how it's helped you before… so I brought you here, to fix whatever pain or terrible feeling you're going through…" She wiped her eyes. "I couldn't think of anything else I could do…"

"I… I'd forgotten this place…" Renton whispered back as he closed his eyes. "When I was younger I would always come here… to forget about my parents' funeral... to forget all the kids who would pick on me… to forget that feeling of loneliness that never went away…" Eureka turned to look at the sorrowful boy. "I had Gramps and Sis… and my friends… but I had always felt this sensation of loneliness for so long… Like I had no one to hold on to and make this feeling go away…" Renton suddenly felt warmth in his hand; Eureka had locked her fingers with his.

"You can hold on to me until it goes away…" She spoke softly with sorrow in her voice. The tone confused Renton and it felt almost apologetic. Why did she sound like it was her fault he felt like this? Deep inside his heart, he felt troubled and couldn't understand the feelings that circulated his subconscious. He brushed off the feeling as he squeezed her hand gently and looked into the girl's eyes.

"Thank you."


	13. Chronically Masochistic

**Lucid Dreams**

The reviews… the follows… the favorites… THEY'RE LIKE CRACK TO ME!

No but in all seriousness thanks to everyone who's reviewed thus far, I appreciate all criticism and pointers so please do not hesitate to let me know when my writing gets shaky! And those who are following my story and adding it to favorites, you guys are awesome =)

Currently re-watching the original E7 series and all episodes released thus far for E7: Ao during the 3 week break in japan due to the Olympics. I've been getting a lot of good ideas, themes, and scene ideas from watching the series and I look forward to bringing them to life in this fanfic as to follow the original source and characters as much as possible… just in a different universe.

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 13: Chronically Masochistic<strong>

Eureka Entry #13:

Diary… I don't know what to do.

Renton woke up from the coma and he's fine now… but he's lost his memories of this past month. He's lost his memories of me…

It's not fair… Renton deserves better than me and he won't remember the pain I've caused him or everything I've put him through…

…I'm a horrible person. I should stay away from him as much as possible…

…But I want to be next to him. And talk to him. And kiss him. I wanted him to kiss me so badly when he was on top of me…

I want him to hold me and keep me warm. I want to feel safe. I want the loneliness and the pain to go away…

…But I'll only hurt him. I'm a horrible person and he'll only get hurt being around me.

He told me how he felt so lonely all his life while we laid under the stars.

Why is he lonely? He deserves to feel better than this… Loneliness is terrible… Renton deserves better than that.

…Am I good enough to help him? Can I make him feel less lonely?

How did he feel when I held his hand? Did he feel less lonely? I can't tell… It's impossible to tell for sure…

But I saw it in his eyes… Renton looked happier. How does he feel about me..? Does he still care for me even without his memory?

It's not fair… I want to start over too… I want to forget everything that I did. It feels horrible to remember everything and Renton doesn't… He deserves better…

…I don't want to manipulate him. I don't want to have this knowledge over him. I want to start over too.

What should I do, Diary? What can I do?

Should I stay away from him as much as possible like before? Those days were so empty… I was so unhappy… I was so tired… How did he feel? Will he feel lonely without me? Will he be happy without me?

Should I stay by his side..? I would try my best to keep him happy… No… I would HAVE to make him happy… no matter what. I have to atone for everything I've done to him… and bear the burden of remembering everything I put him through. I have to kill his loneliness…

I'll stay by his side… I have to make sure to do everything right this time… Never hurt Renton and never let Renton feel lonely.

…Renton, if you ever regain your memories… Please forgive me. I want to be happy again. I want to feel complete again.

I'm selfish… that's why I kissed you in the hallway.

I'm horrible… that's why I screamed your name.

I'm desperate… that's why I touched myself thinking of you.

I'm despicable… that's why I want you to love me.

…Because I love you.

* * *

><p>"Oh hello, Eureka," Diane Thurston greeted the blue-haired teen. "Renton's not here right now…" She frowned. "He's out running some errands with his grandfather."<p>

"…I know, Ms. Thurston." Eureka replied sheepishly. "I was actually waiting until he left the house to talk to you…" Her cheeks went red.

"Ooh, that's creepy." Talho materialized from behind Diane throwing both of the girls into a state of shock. "Cute, innocent looking teen is stalking the sister of the boy next door!" The black-haired woman teased. "I'm pretty sure this is how a good number of porn movies start…"

"You're disgusting, Talho." Diane huffed back as a puzzled look came over Eureka's face. "Don't mind her, Eureka. What'd you want to talk about? Should Talho leave?"

"No… Actually I'd like to ask Ms. Yuki the same question." Both of the older women looked at Eureka with a curious look. "…Have you told Renton about everything that we've… done… together?" The young girl paused between her words to choose them carefully as she blushed over memories of a particularly embarrassing incident.

"You mean like how he fingered you in his bed while you were topless?" Talho said simply as both Eureka and Diane reacted frantically. "What..? I'm just saying it how it is." She smiled.

"…Yes." The poor girl couldn't maintain eye contact for fear that the embarrassment would overwhelm her.

"The only thing Renton knows is that you two are neighbors and classmates and that he protected you from that boy." Diane answered. "Anything that he would know about you would have had to come from you or someone else. Talho hasn't said anything either." A moment of silence passed by as the teen didn't respond immediately; she trembled as she stood in anticipation for what she would say next.

"Please!" Eureka dropped to her knees, much to the shock of the two women. "Please, don't tell Renton anything about the times he and I spent together…" Talho and Diane were speechless and unprepared as Eureka went on.

"I know it's terrible of me to do this… and Renton deserves better… but I want to start over… I want a clean slate and I want to do everything right this time and make up for all the pain I've caused him, even if he won't ever remember..." The girl had such a tone of desperation and pleading.

"Eureka…" Both Diane and Talho knelt down by her side.

"Even if he won't ever remember… I always will and I won't be able to live with myself if I never pay for what I've done… I have to make things right with Renton. I want to make things right with Renton… I-I want redemption." Eureka's voice died at that moment as words failed her. She hung her head low and kept her gaze focused on the ground.

Silence passed over the three of them for a moment before Diane laid a hand on Eureka's delicate hair and spoke,

"Eureka, don't beg for it," She said quietly.

"Earn it…" The love-struck teen replied meekly.

"And it will be given to you."

* * *

><p>"…We're not gonna tell him." Moondoggie spoke softly. It was all Renton heard as he came up the stairs to the patio where Eureka, Gidget, and Moondoggie sat.<p>

"Who are you not going to tell what?" The brown-haired boy spoke curiously. The table shook abruptly as all three of the students jumped at the realization that Renton had returned.

"Oh! We're not gonna tell Holland about that party this weekend at Matthieu's house!" Gidget responded hastily as Eureka and Moondoggie readjusted themselves. "We should all go!" The hazel-skinned girl spoke with her usual, hyperactive enthusiasm.

"Matthieu, the upperclassman?" Renton asked as both Moondoggie and Gidget nodded.

"Ah! Renton, you remember who that is?" Eureka asked curiously.

"We all went to the same middle school and hung out a few times." Moondoggie replied as he recalled childhood memories. "Even back then he was pretty notorious."

"Oh, I see."

"So, all in favor?" Gidget piped up with a playful voice.

"I'd have to see if Sis or Gramps will be home or outside that day…"

"Well, the week just started and the party's on Friday. Just plan it out, Renton." The blonde boy nudged him with his elbow.

"What about you, Eureka? How are you getting away from Holland?" Renton turned to his neighbor.

"He's going to the airport to pick up my cousin that day. It'll be really late so I think I could get away for a party."

"You have a cousin?" Moondoggie inquired as Eureka nodded her head.

"Then it's settled!" Gidget concluded. "Worst case scenario, we'll have to find a way to sneak Renton out of his house, but overall it looks like all of us are going!" The group replied with a nervous "okay".

Lunchtime had settled calmly over the four friends. It was Renton's first day back at school since his incident, but the return had been quite smooth. Every teacher (with the exception of Holland) had reintroduced themselves to their recovering student and reassured him that he would catch up quickly. Renton had been a decent student his whole life and kept up with the lectures quite well, given his absence; it wouldn't be too difficult for him to maintain decent grades for the rest of the semester.

Socially, it was a little jarring for Renton to become reacquainted with classmates he had met at the beginning of the school year. Regardless, he kept up and everyone he had known did their best to help him out. Even Eureka was doing what she could. Rather, it seemed Eureka was doing much more to help than anyone else. The girl had made copies of all the notes he missed in his absence, guided him around the school, and even brought him to the lunch area where they had typically spent lunchtime with Gidget and Moondoggie.

Again, as before, the question of who Eureka was nagged at his heart and demanded an answer. Renton fought off the curiosity out of sheer instinct. Perhaps he knew deep down that ignorance was the better option. Eureka would tell him when she's ready, he thought to himself. After that near-death experience and the night they spent together under the stars, she deserved to have that much at least. Renton would never force her to say anything she wasn't ready to talk about. The past no longer mattered to Renton; with this beautiful girl, all that mattered was the present and the future.

Of course, Renton could guess at plausible theories. It was his nature to speculate and wonder about such things and he couldn't help but observe facts: Renton had been the one to introduced Eureka to Moondoggie and Gidget, they had spent their lunches together, and he had been in every one of her classes up until she changed her schedule. Had he taken things too far? Did he cross the line with Eureka, causing her to avoid him as much as possible? Renton could never ask such a question. Deep down, he dreaded to find out, suspecting that perhaps this was truly what had happened between them.

"_But if that's true… why is she here now?_" Renton mused to himself. "_Is it because I protected her? Because I saved her from that other boy?_" He grew colder at the thought that maybe this cute girl was only being so helpful and kind to him out of obligation. Renton shook his head violently as to rid himself of these thoughts.

"What's wrong, Renton?" The unbearably cute neighbor inquired. He shook his head again to say that it was nothing.

"I'm just a little tired."

"Well, we only have a few more classes left." Moondoggie spoke up. "Try not to knock out during lecture."

"Why not?" Renton grinned mischievously. "I'm still recovering and it is my first day back at school."

"That's terrible, Renton!" Gidget scolded. "You should be a responsible student!"

The deafening bell that signaled the end of lunch rang clearly across the campus at that moment. All four of the teens that sat together hung their heads collectively in depression and packed up their belongings. It was time to go back to class and fight off the inevitable food coma and sleepiness that would plague all students immediately after lunch. Gidget and Moondoggie hurried off to class together with a quick "see you later" parting to Eureka and Renton. The two were alone now.

"…Renton, I'll walk you to your next class." The blue-haired girl spoke simply. The boy casually agreed and walked with her.

The two chatted animatedly as they walked. The conversation mainly revolved around how the day was going so far and how weird the school must seem to Renton. It was casual small talk and that was really all the two of them were comfortable with at the moment. Neither one of them was bold enough to discuss the deeper things that were of more concern. Renton carried on about the weather and Eureka talked briefly about her cousin.

"I haven't seen her in a long time, but I remember she was very…" Eureka paused for a good word. "Eccentric." It was the best word she could use to describe Anemone. Renton chuckled back.

"So it runs in the family?" He teased as Eureka blushed.

"Now you're teasing me like Holland!" She replied with a mock frown. Eureka's arm was preoccupied with a book and her other hung at her side with the cast still in place, so she nudged Renton with her shoulder.

"Speaking of Holland," Renton spoke thoughtfully, "why is he so mean to me?" At that moment he recalled how he had been on top of Eureka that time her brother came back. "Umm, never mind…" The boy blushed slightly.

And just like that, the two adolescents found themselves at their destination. In the brief silence that followed, a hint of sorrow could be felt in the atmosphere between then over how they would be separated for some time. Logically, both of their minds knew that they would see each other later in the day. Emotionally, both of their hearts wanted more time to spend together, not wanting a single second to go by being separate for the other.

"Thanks for walking me, Eureka…" The boy spoke first. "And thanks for helping me." The warm smile he gave to the girl melted her heart in that moment. Eureka walked up to Renton with her gaze determined to face the ground. She came up close to his body and, with her unhindered hand, delicately touched and grasped his hand. The top of her blue hair brushed up against his lips as she remained as she stood in a meek and shy posture.

"…Are you still feeling lonely, Renton?" Her soft voice captured his heart. He stood momentarily speechless and captivated by the angel before him. He eyed the cast on her forearm and felt a twinge of sadness echo through his heart.

"…Only when I'm not with you." His voice came out in a low whisper, inaudible to all who could be passing by. His fingers curled up around hers and his lips pressed gently against her hair.

* * *

><p>"<em>Why am I here again..?<em>" Horror gripped Eureka as she found herself in an awfully familiar setting.

It was the dark chapel and the funeral processions that plagued her dreams. A sense of déjà vu brushed over Eureka as Fear settled in and claimed her mind. Dread filled her stomach and for a moment, she knew that someone would be coming for her; Pain would follow soon after. The faceless audience was back. They paid her no heed as this time as she had enough sense to not draw attention to herself.

"_I need to get out of here… I have to run…_" The young girl thought frantically. Immediately as she began to panic, the audience turned to her. Instantly, she was surrounded in a circle of the faceless figures.

Eureka was deathly still at that moment but her heart pounded madly and felt as noticeable as a war drum. What could she possibly do in this moment? There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide in this merciless circle. Soon, her judge would descend upon her. Would he be merciful? Would he be kind? A chill swept over Eureka's entire being and she shuddered violently. Someone had breathed down her neck and paralyzed her body. He had come, finally.

Renton materialized without warning and detection behind Eureka for quite some time. He too didn't move, but his lips moved and issued forth his voice. Behind the tone was an angry and emotional boy. She braced herself.

"Did you think that just because my conscious memory doesn't remember, I wouldn't remember?" The rage was on a breaking point and Eureka remained silent. "Do you think that what you've done will be forgiven because you treat me nicely?" Again, no answer. "You're despicable." A strong and vicious hand clenched Eureka's hair and threw her to the ground. She remained where she lay out of paralyzing Fear.

Her aggressor saddled her body and slipped his hands under the clothes she wore. Those terrible and cold hands chilled Eureka to her soul; she repressed the scream to herself and held strong as the hands moved toward her breasts. She would not break… She would bear it.

In a swift movement, Renton stripped Eureka naked by sheer force and tore apart the clothes that concealed her figure. Her chest lay bare before him once again and embarrassment gripped Eureka. He was seeing everything and she couldn't stop him. It felt as those eyes judged furiously and critically.

"Your body is terrible." Renton mocked coldly. "Perhaps you should've paid more attention to it." Eureka bit her lip and refused to respond. A brutal slap whipped across her face and a portion of her cheeks went numb instantaneously. Involuntary tears and an audible cry escaped the girl on impact. There was no way to have held back the reaction. "SPEAK!" Renton's hand raised high in position for another round. Eureka remained silent.

Those terrible hands gripped her neck now. Renton was choking Eureka and draining her of life. There was no chance for her to speak even if she wanted to. Again, memories flashed by and the scene where the two had laid under the stars played out in her mind. It had been such a sweet moment. Eureka had felt so lonely up until that moment and had longed to been as close to Renton as possible. His hand had been so comforting, so warm.

"So you used me…" The cold and dark version of her love spoke callously. "It was not I who was lonely, but you. It's always been you." Eureka still could not respond. "Despite the pain you've caused me and the things you've done, you chose to put yourself next to me in hopes of redeeming yourself." He could see through everything and Eureka could do nothing but cry.

The memories flashed by once more and now they were at the door to class just as lunch was ending. Again, his hand had been so warm and caring. How could he be so cold now? How could he be so hateful? Questions ran through her mind, yet she already knew the answer to them. She knew she deserved this pain and humiliation. This Renton would be her judge and her prosecutor. This Renton would ensure that she paid for her sins. It was as though Eureka accepted the pain and even relished in it.

Now they were in Renton's bedroom, again. The sleepy sun was peering into the room, hindered by the blinds. In this moment, his hands had felt so good to her. There was so much pleasure in this memory. Eureka watched the memory feeling jealous of how much this Eureka was enjoying herself. A familiar heat returned to her and demanded satisfaction as usual. She locked eyes with the cruel Renton that was on top of her now. No words escaped her lips, but she knew he knew what she wanted. A condescending and harsh smirk formed.

"You dirty slut…" The pressure around her neck released as one of his hands forced itself swiftly under her panties. The fingers chilled her to the core, but again she embraced the sensation and wallowed in the abuse. They played with her sensitivity and teased the outside of the lips. Eureka found herself longing for them to simply go in. Renton was Renton, and she still wanted him, despite the terrible things he was doing to her.

"R-R-Renton…" She finally spoke and called out to him. "I-Inside… Please." The words barely came out before he slipped in his fingers and mercilessly assaulted her womanhood. Too many sensations overwhelmed her immediately and within what seemed like seconds, she was spent. Her breathing grew heavy and long-drawn and she was quickly spent and unable to form coherent thoughts much less move. Renton wasn't going to stop, however.

"You selfish bitch…" He whispered into her ear. "I'm not done with you yet." His fingers continued their assault and squirmed within Eureka. Instinctively, her hands reacted to desperately push away the hand that played with her. Strength failed her at that moment as she lacked the energy to hold back her aggressor. The sensations built up again for a long and drawn out moment and the experience began to cease being pleasurable and start feeling torturous.

Eureka's back arched as her being began to desperately resist the things Renton was doing. She'd been long past spent now but the fingers won't stop. After what seemed like an eternity, Eureka climaxed again and let forth a violent shudder. Her efforts to disconnect from Renton became more frantic and violent, descending further to her bodily instincts. His hand's grip was solid, however and she was going nowhere. Now she was shaking involuntarily and felt her world go cold. But those fingers wouldn't stop. Again, the pattern started up again, giving the hapless girl no rest or chance to recover. It ceased to be pleasurable; only torturous.

"S-Stop… Please!" Eureka cried desperately to the cruel boy. Her hands clawed at Renton's arm to no avail and no strength. Her aggressor simply laughed.

"I'm going to dry your desperate little cunt." The dark Renton snarled back. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted me to do these things to you… You wanted to be punished!" His mouth clamped down on Eureka's right breast and the teeth dug into the soft and innocent skin. Renton's tongue licked over the tip of her nipple and sent tremors through her body. Her toes curled and stretched as to escape the overwhelming sensations and her back arched and twisted in a desperate attempt to free her from the merciless one.

Again, Eureka felt the pressure build up and threaten to overwhelm her. There was no end to her torture and eternities passed with the young teen anguishing and being violated to the fullest extent of the human imagination. Coherency was lost and all senses began to fade and grow dim. She would reach her limit soon. Tears squeezed out and flowed freely down the side of her face. Her cries and screams built up and grew more and more desperate with each passing second. When would she be free of all if it?

This buildup was much too long for the poor girl to handle. Her body burned with an agonizing heat and she felt sweat forming on her limbs. Breathing became erratic and heavier as each exhale released a desperate and tormented cry. How much time had passed? It was impossible for her to tell. Renton released Eureka's neck completely and clamped his hand on her other breast. With his fingers, he pinched the tip of her womanhood and broke her in that moment.

With a long, drawn out, and torturous cry, she came violently and opened her eyes.

* * *

><p>It was still dark and chilly when Eureka woke up. The cool, brisk breeze snuck into her bedroom and danced atop her bare skin. It felt good to the overheated and physically exhausted girl; she was unable to move for a while. With her half-closed eyes, she saw that her free, unhindered hand was at the fork of her legs and fingers were firmly inserted in her tight trap. A deep red blush filled her face in overwhelming embarrassment.<p>

Eureka lay completely nude and exposed on her bed for some time, her underwear and clothes were scattered around the bed. She was too exhausted to even readjust herself. The clock told her that there was still several hours before she'd have to get up for school. With each passing second, her breathing slowed and calmed down and her body relaxed from its tensed up state. Her casted forearm lay limp at her side.

After some time, Eureka willed herself to remove her fingers that dug inside. Slowly, as she pulled them out, a sharp and drawn out pain caused her to tense again and let out a soft cry of pain. In her sleepy mind, she marveled at how she had managed to play with herself as she slept. Her heart grew troubled, but the body was too tired to care at that moment. At that moment, Eureka cried silently and embraced her pillow as tight as she possibly could. A variety of feelings filled her at that moment of self-hatred and disgust. How depraved and disturbed could she possibly be to have dreamed such a dream? She felt overwhelming loneliness and despair claim her heart as she lay alone. The desire to be next to Renton at that moment filled her physical being. The mind was willing, but the body was broken. Shame pressured her to pull the blanket over herself and hide her imperfect and disgusting body.

Just as Eureka began to lose conscious, her lips barely moved and words slipped under the breeze of the dark world outside.

"…I'm fucked up... I'm so sorry, Renton."

* * *

><p>Not too far away from Eureka at the same moment, Renton quietly disposed of several tissues which wiped up and cleaned the embarrassing mess he had made. The boy had not been asleep for the thought of Eureka gripped his heart kept him awake through the night. His adolescent hormones had created a mad urge to touch and hold Eureka's bare body and his active imagination fantasized how it would feel. Renton had, for a brief moment of madness, considered walking over to Eureka's window, as she had done to his several nights ago, but shook off the thought and settled for self-induced pleasure.<p>

With a sigh, the boy fell back onto his bed and hugged his pillow tightly. Surely he had done his best at cleaning and concealing his sin. Shame and embarrassment gripped him as he pushed the thought of his moment of weakness as far away as he possibly could. Disgust and a twinge of self-hatred coursed through his body as he whispered,

"...I'm fucked up... I'm so sorry, Eureka."


	14. Sleepwalking

**Lucid Dreams**

Author's notes at the end of the chapter.

* * *

><p><strong>Dream 14: Sleepwalking<strong>

"How does it feel to be free of that cast, Eureka?" Mischa, the red-haired doctor inquired as she disposed of the teen's wrappings.

"It itches a lot." Eureka replied with a mild frown. Using the sink next to her, she began to rinse and wash her forearm as her doctor instructed her to.

"Well, it seems like your arm has recovered quite well, but be careful not to put too much strain on it."

Eureka looked to her arm curiously and clenched her hand in a flexing manner. It had been about two weeks since her injury and the cast couldn't have come off at a better time. Matthieu's party was in two days and for the first time in the young girl's life, she had become extremely conscious of her physical appearance. The showers in the morning before school had become much more thorough and vigorous (with the annoying exception that her left arm was unable to be cleaned) and Eureka took good measure to plan out what to wear to school several days in advance. The use of skin lotion was becoming much more liberal and widespread in her routine as well.

"Eureka, have you been working out?" Mischa's question brought the girl back from her thoughts.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, it seems like you've lost some body fat…" The doctor lifted up Eureka's shirt slightly and gently pinched the bare skin above her waist.

"Ah!" The young girl squirmed away with a blush on her cheeks. "I've been going to the gym lately…" Eureka said thoughtfully. "I usually do some running and exercises for my abs." The blush got deeper as she thought of how embarrassed she felt laying on the ground during those bicycle kick exercises.

"Hmm…" Mischa came closer to Eureka as if she were studying her. "Are you sure that's ALL you've been doing?" The teen laughed nervously.

"Miss Yuki has me using that leg-workout machine…"

"The one where you close your legs together?" Eureka simply nodded. "Oho, and why have you been using the hip-abduction machine?" The blush darkened.

"…Miss Yuki said something about… tighter…" The words came out as a mumble.

"Because it would make your vagina tighter?" Mischa teased the poor girl as she reacted frantically. "It's okay, Eureka," the doctor let on a comforting laugh, "it's good that you're exercising and maintaining your body, though at your age and body fat, you shouldn't have to worry too much." Eureka was silent for a moment before Mischa went on. "So what caused you to start working out? Is it a boy?" She didn't respond right away.

"…It was a dream." The blue-haired girl replied. "I… Everything was exposed to him… and I was so embarrassed…"

"Do these dreams occur frequently?" Mischa inquired as Eureka nodded.

"I've been dreaming every night… and these dreams are always so scary…"

"Well, as your personal physician, I'll tell you that a lot of young girls and older women would kill to have a body like yours, Eureka." She patted her head gently. "Don't be so hard on yourself and try to have a little more confidence."

"Thank you, Mischa." The doctor picked up her belongings and headed for the door. She stopped to turn toward the teen.

"You know, Eureka, it'd be a lot easier if you just spilled it out to him and told him how you felt." She winked.

"Eh?"

"Don't play stupid with me."

"Spill out what to who?" Mischa rolled her eyes.

"Tell Renton how you feel about him!" With a "hmph", she exited the room and left Eureka to her own thoughts.

* * *

><p>Renton collapsed onto the inclined chair behind him in sheer exhaustion. The dumbbell weights dropped with a low thud on the padded floor and landed dangerously close to his feet. He didn't care. His clothes were drenched in sweat and his arms were screaming in protest. How long had he been working out? He wondered as he looked up at the clock and felt even worse.<p>

"_30 minutes? Damn I'm pathetic…_" Renton looked to the ground at the 15 pound weights that looked so small and unthreatening. How had he gotten so tired so quickly? The chocolate-haired boy let out a dejected sigh as he stood up. A hearty and booming laugh from behind startled him and Renton suddenly found a huge arm wrap around his shoulders and constrict him tightly. A new wave of sweat drenched his clothes as an overwhelming odor surged through his nose. The embrace felt almost fatherly and most definitely intrusive.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, kid!" Renton looked up to see a dark-brown haired man like a raccoon donned in unusual, light purple workout attire giving him a beaming grin. "Everyone starts somewhere and you're fortunate to have started taking care of your body at such a young age!"

"B-but…" The boy couldn't respond before the enthusiastic man went on.

"Don't be discouraged by your current strength!" He proclaimed loudly. Renton was thankful that the gym wasn't very busy today. "I shall take it upon myself to push you forward into true manhood!" Renton swore he could see flames in the man's eyes.

"B-but…"

"Don't worry about having to compensate me for my services!" The words rang out valiantly as the man's other hand clenched to a prideful fist. "It would be upon my honor that I see to your glorious transformation and ascension as a true man!" There was no arguing with this guy.

"Umm… Excuse-" Renton's words were cut short again as the man turned him around to the back corner of the gym to face the aerobics room, separated by glass. There was a class in session and every participant inside was, of course, female. The music boomed loudly from within at a fast tempo.

"Hey kid, look over there." The man pointed to a beautiful, black-haired woman like a fox. She followed the routine flawlessly and was obviously in good shape. "Damn, she's one hot babe. Charming, don't you think, my young friend?" He smiled and teased the teen.

"Y-Yeah…" It was all Renton could really say and a moment of pause settled in before the booming music suddenly changed up in pace. Despite the aerobics class being separate from the rest of the gym, Renton could hear the music shift and change to the new track.

"It's the same song, but it's a little different." Renton said simply

"This song is this year's anthem. We already got a bootleg remix of it. But the original wins hands down."

"Yeah."

"The quality's gone down with the vertical fade mixer that the DJ used while making this song. I prefer rotaries. The mixing is much smoother."

"Sure..."

"So, how about it, young boy? Would you like me to help you get stronger?" The stranger finally got back to his point. Renton thought it over for some time, observing that the man in front of him seemed quite strong and very friendly. There was no trace of an ulterior motive nor did the man seem very deceitful. What did he have to lose? Still, the boy was quite hesitant and unsure of how to move forward.

"Why did you come to this gym, young boy?" Again, no answer. The older man crossed his arms and thought for a moment before he snapped his fingers with an epiphany. "Is there a beautiful girl in your life?"

"…Yes." Renton looked away and blushed. Another booming laugh from the man shook him.

"Oh, adolescence!" The man exclaimed enthusiastically. "Such a time in every man's life… Kid, I swear to you that the girl of your dreams will beg you to hold her in your arms when I'm done with you." Renton looked up in genuine interest. Could this man possibly help him? There was only one way to find out.

"Okay… But you don't even know who I am."

"Well, who are you?" The man asked simply.

"…Renton. Renton Thurston… Who are you?"

The older man looked down at the teen and smiled.

"Charles. Charles Beams."

* * *

><p>"Ah! I'm sorry, Renton…" Eureka spoke to her cell phone. "On Thursdays, I babysit three little kids… I'm sorry… I'm probably going to work on my homework here."<p>

"Oh, then can I come to you?" His voice echoed out from the earpiece of her phone.

"Umm," Eureka looked around nervously before whispering into her phone, "okay." A childish and innocent grin formed on her lips.

The love-struck teen couldn't help but giggle. She was in the living room of the household alone; the kids were washing up and getting ready for bed. Mom and Dad were coming home late so it was up to Eureka to watch over the house and tuck the kids in for bed. The house was nice and clean, despite how troublesome and energetic the children were. Everything about the setting was comfortable to Eureka, with one exception: in the far corner of the room there was a statue of a clown. To the babysitter, the clown was quite creepy with its face paint, bright red nose, and outrageously colored hair. She shook off the feeling and ignored it as an aesthetic choice for the household.

An almost perfect silence settled over the house and gave pause to the young girl. Something wasn't quite right here, Eureka thought to herself. She stood up to turn on the TV in front of her, but despite pressing the power button, it wouldn't turn on. With each passing second, the setting grew colder and darker. The children were awfully quiet, but they must be asleep by now. Eureka eyed the clown again suspiciously before she went back to her phone.

"H-Hey, Renton?" She spoke in a meek voice.

"What's up?"

"…Are you- ah!" Eureka was cut short as a notification beeped onto her phone's screen; the parents were calling to check in. "Hold on, Renton, I have another call I have to take real fast." She switched the line over.

"Hey, Eureka, how's everything in the house?"

"Everything's good!" She responded brightly. "The children are sleeping right now and I have most of the lights turned off except for the living room."

"Good, good. Thank you for taking care of things while we were gone!"

"No problem!"

"Well, we should be back in a few hours or so. Is there anything else we should know?"

"Nope! I can't really think of anything..." Eureka's voice trailed off for a moment. "…Actually, the TV's not working right now."

"Oh, okay. Not sure what's up with that, but we can definitely look into it. Anything else?"

"Hmm, I've actually been wondering this for some time…"

"What is it?"

"What's with the clown statue?"

The line was silent for an uncomfortable second and a familiar sense of dread filled Eureka's stomach almost instantaneously. The light in the living room suddenly turned red, coating everything in a crimson tone. The distinct sound of heavy breathing caught the girl's ear and she felt someone breathing on her neck from behind. Eureka stood petrified and glued to her phone as though she depended on every word that came from the other side. Before they reached her ear, she already anticipated what was to be said.

"What clown statue?" The line went dead immediately after that.

The breathing intensified behind Eureka. For those milliseconds of time, her body remained frozen and motionless in absolute fear. Her mind, gripped in confusion, desperation, and fear, screamed frantically to escape and run away. But where would she run to? Moving only her eyes, she looked to the front door of the house.

"Kidney~ jugular~ hamstring~" The clown whispered in a demented, musical tone. Eureka dared not look at the clown but could hear the sound of a knife being drawn from a sheath. "Think you can outrun me, little kitty~?" The sing-song voice terrified the girl and served to keep her in place.

"_Why can't I move!?_" She thought desperately to herself. Every fiber of her being screamed to run and escape, yet she was stuck in place and unable to move.

And then, the sting of cold steel sliced upon the back of her leg without warning. It took a second for the sensation to register and then her body reacted immediately afterwards in sheer instinct and survival panic. The wound was surgically planted, however. No sooner had Eureka sprung forward to run away did she collapse and slam into the ground a pathetically short distance from where she started. Still acting on instinct, Eureka crawled toward the door.

Eternities passed as she weakly and desperately dragged herself to the front of the house. The clown walked over her as she progressed in cruel mockery and inflicted multiple stabs on Eureka's body as she crawled. Each cut brought forth a terrible and heart-wrenching cry from the tortured girl. The first stab took her right kidney and caused her body to spasm. Afterwards, each inch crawled forward was another slice on her skin. She cried for someone to save her.

Eventually, she reached the door with multiple wounds oozing blood along her backside. With all her strength, Eureka pushed the door open to the outside world. On the other side, Renton stood in front of her at the doorstep. She couldn't see his face or his eyes but momentary relief seeped into her heart as she stretched her hands toward him.

Renton picked Eureka up gently so that she stood on her uninjured leg. The other was caked in blood and non-functional. Eureka reached for Renton's face with both hands, but before they could reach him, chains whipped around her wrists and spread her arms to wooden posts at her side. The cold, cruel blade sunk into her lower spine at the hip level and Eureka fell to the ground instantly. She couldn't feel nor move her legs and her arms were restrained as to not permit her to sit on the ground; her legs were limp as she hung by her arms.

"R-Renton… it hurts…" Eureka whimpered as her gaze was downcast. "…Are you still mad at me?" Renton's hand lifted her chin up to lock eyes. Eureka found her answer in his eyes and her lips quivered.

As he had done many times before, Renton snuck his free hand under Eureka's clothes and dug his middle finger into the trap between her legs. The sensation was immediate and overwhelming and caused Eureka to cum within seconds. Her body shivered and trembled where she hung as the boy removed his moist hand and rubbed her cheek. Slowly, he began to circle around, caressing the cheek gently and sweeping his hand across her lips. As his fingers reached the lips of Eureka's mouth, Renton inserted the middle finger inside and onto her tongue while he stood behind her.

Eureka sucked on the finger feebly as though she were trying to appease her tormentor. Her psyche had degraded her resistance into submissive behavior and she resigned her fate to the boy that stood behind her. The taste was much too strong and bitter to Eureka, but she continued on regardless. Her tongue licked around the finger in total compliance to her aggressor. "_Pathetic... I'm so pathetic…_" Whether it was desperation or a ruse, not even she knew.

"That's right, there's no point in fighting it." Renton's voice spoke so closely to her ear. "Deep inside, you know you wanted this." Eureka remained silent. "You're boring me tonight…"

In a fluid, brutal motion and with his finger still inside, Renton slit Eureka's delicate throat with the clown's knife in his free hand. It was a curious sensation to Eureka as she felt the steel slice through her flesh effortlessly and, at first, painlessly. He followed up on the fatal wound and jammed the weapon into her heart. There was no change in his demeanor and the entire act had been almost automatic and mechanical. His hand gently brushed her soft hair before it clenched a handful tightly and pulled her head back, causing the slit to ooze and gush crimson much faster. Words failed to formulate past the air bubbles that gargled at her throat. Vision began to blur and breathing failed Eureka. Her eyes closed slowly and her body grew colder and began to spasm in sheer horror and pain. Her attempts to scream, both voluntary and involuntary, only made the pain worse. Her terrified voice squeezed through as her last sensation was that of Renton's tongue licking the blood from her gashed neck.

* * *

><p>Eureka woke up coughing and choking for a good minute as her body convulsed and trembled madly. Instinctively, she wrapped her blanket tightly around her body and shoved herself into the corner of the bed that met with the corner of the walls. She hugged her pillow and pressed her mouth into it to suppress the screaming and the choked up, desperate sobbing. The vividness of the nightmare had shaken her badly.<p>

It was exactly midnight and technically Friday morning, according to Eureka's clock. She would most certainly be drowsy during class today. Her cries and tears continued for some time. The initial outpour and sobbing was uncontrollable, but she was able to suppress the noise quite effectively. The previous nightmares had woken Holland and always resulted in him stubbornly demanding Eureka tell him what was wrong. It always ended with Eureka stubbornly curling up under her blanket and yelling at him to go away. But now she was getting better at holding back the screams now. Each night she woke from the nightmares she would curl up tight and muffle the screams. Holland didn't come in anymore, so it was working.

Eureka ached to hold onto something. The pillow was all she had and it wasn't enough for her. The sobs subsided and died down eventually and her wet eyes dried off on the blanket. With several deep breaths, Eureka calmed down and regained her sense. As though she knew that she wasn't going to sleep anytime soon, Eureka got out of bed, still wrapped up in her blanket, and climbed out her window. She needed fresh air; she needed to breathe.

As she climbed outside, a gust blew past her. The breeze wasn't too bad, but it still caused her to shiver. Wrapping the blanket tighter, she looked up at the sky but the stars weren't there. Feeling depressed, she turned to climb back into her room but stopped as an idea popped into her head. An odd, eager sensation filled her heart as she walked to the hill behind her house.

…

"Eureka…" A soft voice caused her to look up as she reached the base of the hill. Renton sat against the tree at the top with a concerned look in his eyes. "Can't get any sleep?"

"Renton…" Eureka walked toward the boy hastily. With a cute exclamation of "Ah!" her feet tripped on the blanket and sent her flying until she landed softly on a warm body. Renton had caught her and held her in his arms where he sat. "Thank you…" Her words were muffled by his shoulder.

"Is something bothering you, Eureka?" Renton's voice had such a caring and gentle tone. She trembled at the memory of what he had done to her in her dream.

"…I had a nightmare." She responded simply. Renton's warm hand caressed and brushed her soft hair in consolation. "I'm afraid to go back to sleep…"

"I'm sorry… but at least you're getting some sleep." He rubbed his eyes lazily and turned his head to the side to yawn for a moment.

"You can't sleep, Renton?" Eureka looked to the boy of her affections with great concern. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know… I managed to get some sleep a few days ago after I… Err-" Renton stopped himself cold at the memory of pleasuring himself to the thought of Eureka.

"After what?" The cute girl inquired innocently.

"…Exercising." A noticeable blush took over the boy's face.

"Did you try the same thing today?" Renton nodded his head nervously.

The couple remained motionless for some time on that hill. Another breeze blew past and caused Renton to shiver. Eureka responded apologetically and wrapped the blanket she brought with her over both of their bodies. She snuggled in close and comfortably with Renton and closed her eyes. A soft sigh of contentment and happiness escaped her, but it was too quiet for Renton to catch. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Eureka.

And then the two were happy once again. Nothing could break them or hurt them in this moment of intimacy. The comfort and warmth shared between the two was lulling their bodies to sleep and rest. Their consciousness began to fade and slip away and their breathing became deeper. Eureka slipped her hands under Renton's shirt to touch his bare skin. The touch slightly startled Renton and he opened his eyes halfway just in time to see Eureka's head move in closer. In the blink of an eye, her lips pressed up against his.

The boy's mind went erratic.

"_This can't be happening…_" The voice in his head repeated the thought over and over. Eureka was overwhelming him with a pressure that continued to rise in intensity. Her aggressiveness stunned Renton into a confused state which she took advantage of by slipping her tongue into his mouth. The poor boy felt somewhat violated and dominated in this situation but found himself becoming extremely aroused. Everything little detail about Eureka caught his senses; her sweet scent, smooth skin, soft hair, and her lips. Those lips carried so many incomprehensible emotions with them as they pressed against Renton's so desperately, but he was much too distracted by her tongue.

To the boy, this was his first kiss. It was almost magical and most certainly special. Yet something was off about all this. The feeling was too familiar and nostalgic, as though he had done this before. It confused Renton why he would feel this way over something that he had never done before. He had no time to linger on this thought; Eureka laid both her hands on his head and pushed in ferociously.

And then, the moment ended as fast as it had begun. As the realization of her actions sank in, Eureka broke her lips away from Renton's and tried to shove him away but his arms were much too strong and his hold on her stayed tight. An agonizingly familiar look of confusion and pain was in his eyes and Eureka's willpower to break away dissipated immediately. It was the same scene as the day he nearly died and lost his memory, but she didn't have the strength to push him another two times. Her eyes let loose another flood of tears and her body trembled weakly. How could she possibly hurt him so much? He deserved so much better.

Without a word, Eureka pressed her face into Renton's chest and hugged him tightly. The tears began to soak his shirt at the shoulder, but neither of them cared. Her body was shaking and her heart was shattering at that moment. She cried herself to sleep on that hill, unable to neither speak nor explain herself.

The boy remained silent as well. He didn't need to know anything other than the fact that the girl who had (twice) captured his heart needed someone to hold on to. He would do this for her; Renton would do anything for her. He pressed his lips against her soft hair and closed his eyes, feeling his conscious fade away.

In the calmness of the night, the two drifted into sleep to escape from sorrow.

* * *

><p>Friday morning found Renton sleeping messily and sprawled on his lonely bed. The rising sun shined directly on his closed eyes and caused him to stir reluctantly. He wrapped his blanket to block the rays of the sun and remained in bed for another five minutes of much needed sleep. The alarm went off and with a groan the chocolate-haired boy slapped the accursed device to silence it and sat up in his bed.<p>

Mental processes were slow to start for any teen, especially Renton. He rubbed his eyes, yawned loudly, and stretched his body to shake off the lull that sleep had granted him. His first thought was a cheerful one; the end of the week was finally here and he would be going to the party with his friends. He was going to have fun with Gidget, Moondoggie, and Eureka.

"Eureka…" Renton mumbled softly. A slow minute passed before his mind suddenly kicked into gear over the thought of Eureka, causing him to stand up instantly.

Renton looked around to confirm that he was in his own room. How had this happened? Wasn't he out on the hill sleeping with Eureka in his arms? Confusion caused him to scratch his head and ponder over the scenario multiple times. Hadn't he kissed her for the first time on that hill? Renton mentally slapped himself and shook his head violently.

"Just a dream…" He whispered sadly at the only possible conclusion he could think of. "Of course she wouldn't just kiss me like that…" He walked slowly to his bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth.

...

Next door to Renton, Eureka rolled away from the intrusive sunlight, only to end up falling out of bed and hitting the floor with a loud thud. The blue-hair teen let forth a string of curses she had heard Holland use many times before as she opened her eyes lazily and struggled to free herself from her constricting blanket. She was on her room's hardwood floor and made a mental note to go and buy a rug or perhaps a low-rise mattress to dull the extremely probable next fall.

The girl sat up and examined her surroundings. Her mind was blank and was still booting up from the peaceful sleep she was enjoying so well. Eureka looked at her blanket and the memory of Renton and the hill kicked in.

"Renton..?" She trembled just from whispering his name. Hadn't she fallen asleep with him on the hill? Hadn't she kissed him so desperately and hadn't he accepted her so willingly? Confusion and sorrow filled her being as she slowly stood up and walked reluctantly to her washroom. It had been so warm and safe sleeping with him. What happened? A still moment passed as she pondered.

"Just a dream…" Eureka was somewhat relieved at the thought; he hadn't really seen how desperate she was and how pitiful she could be. She could kiss him properly next time. Feeling driven by the thought, she brushed her teeth vigorously and gargled excessive amounts of mouthwash.

* * *

><p>Unknown to both of the teens, what had occurred on the hill past midnight was not a dream. The two had actually kissed and fallen asleep together but were both victims of the phenomenon known as sleepwalking. Eureka left the hill first, unconsciously feeling guilty of taking advantage of the boy. Renton left soon afterwards feeling too cold and lonely where he slept. Regardless, the two had both come to the conclusion that it had simply been a dream.<p>

* * *

><p>AN:

Apologies again to my loyal and new fans and followers. This chapter was actually done about 2 months ago; I was waiting until I finished writing chapter 15 that I would have released both at the same time. Given my current situation however, I'm not sure when I will update or if I ever will.

I've been dropped from my university (I was on academic probation this past semester) and am currently figuring out what to do with my life. Between feeling like a disappointment to my family and inadequate to even live, I'm certain that somehow I will pull through this. Regardless, my present emotions and thoughts are hectic and quite pessimistic. I apologize in advance that many of these feelings will most likely come out in future chapters.

Thanks for all the support so far. For those who are of a particular faith, I'd appreciate prayers for turning my situation around. I'll do my best to keep up.


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